Need second opinions.

[Cosmonaut]

How do yall communicate with your partners? And by communicate, i do not mean responses like we use skype, or fb, or anything like that. how do yall let eachother know that you are not gonna be available today, or that you cant talk right now? Has anyone ever had a partner that was lacking in the communication department?

Lol I had this ridiculously long vent post ready but then figured out all I needed to do was simplify it to this xD

[Unconditional]

We don't really. When he's available he'll answer. Till then, I go about my day.

[farandaway]

I like to plan ahead but he might be busy and forget to let me know if he can't make it. But I've learned to relax about it. Usually we talk our "normal" time which is my evening. Except right now during our rough patch we're not talking at all. I hope it doesn't last very long...

[p_b82]

My Ex, was impossible about tell me and letting me know - and as a result she became an ex - well that is not true, but it was one of the factors that drove us apart as part of some wider issues we had.

some people don't need to know when they are not going to be around, as unconditional says, assume they are not unless they say otherwise, although I think that is probably the minority on balance, and finding out a way that you both can work with under those circumstances is important. sometimes, you do just have to let it slide I found though - so not making it a huge deal every single time it happens, but bring it up if it become to frequent.

I don't know - if it is a deal breaker and winds you up so much, all I can suggest is you communicate it to the other person so that they understand, and if they can't you have to decide whether you can live with them failing to do so, or not; and what that means to you and your relationship with them. (there are lots of factors like timezones, workloads and a whole host of other things that can influence how easy or difficult it is for either party to share this info tho)

[R&R]

I have a pretty set schedule, so he knows as long as I'm not at work then I am available to talk. He can text me at any time. My phone is on vibrate when I go to bed and right next to my pillow so I won't miss him even if it's 3am.

His work schedule is much different. He's usually out the door by 6am and can be out until 10pm or later. With him, it's hit or miss. I don't call him during the day anymore because 99% of the time he never answered. He generally leaves his phone in the van so he doesn't get distracted while on a job. Most of our talk times are later at night. He doesn't tell me his schedule - I just figure if he doesn't answer he'll get back to me when he's free.

It's no different than anyone else, actually. My kids don't always respond right away. Neither do other family members or friends. I don't get all upset with them and it should be no different for your SO. They aren't always going to be available to talk and that's just life.

[Irina_Linn]

We used to let each other know about our plans so there won't be convos like "I've waited hours for you".
If sth urgent occured,I used to borrow a phone from someone or tried going online.Its important to learn not having panick attacks over your SO disappearance

[differentcountries]

We know each other's routines. I usually also know which days he will be busy and might not give notice. If I need to plan in detail I will tell him and vice verca. We had lots of talks in the past about this.

[TheSteelAngel]

I'm pretty used to it now but I used to freak out if I didn't hear from him. Ok I still kinda do but not so much anymore. My SO is the type of guy who doesn't bring up anything unless you ask him. So I have to ask him if he's busy or if we can Skype on x day etc because his job is his whole life sad to say. Sometimes he lets me know and sometimes I don't hear from him at all that day unless I yell at him about it lol. He's gotten better at texting me lately so his lack of communication hasn't been much of a problem.

In LDRs people should be as honest and understanding as they can or else things can go sour pretty quickly. You don't have to communicate everyday but just try to communicate as often as you can and on your own terms

[Kapwned]

We just tell each other.

We know each other's schedules but if things are going to change up we let the other know. We're in pretty close contact all day.

[Cosmonaut]

Thanks for the replies. We have been together for 10 months now. I'm gonna have to learn to stay calm about it. Like yall said. for the past 9 months we would almost always call at least once a day. To say goodnight At least. the past week and a half though she rarely calls. Which for me is odd behavior since im used to calls everyday. But yeah. Im just gonna have to try and stay calm about it. it was bound to happen sooner or later right? I appreciate everyone's response!

[p_b82]

If this is a sudden change then it says to me that there is something going on on her side, rather than this is the way she has always been.

I would personally instigate a conversation to ask why the sudden drop off; if you are happy with it being less frequent, then it is purely for information purpose, but if you aren't you need to let her know that this is a situation you are not as comfortable with, and you both need to find a solution that works for you both.

[Kapwned]

Seconded. There's a difference between a gradual change simply because a relationship has unrealistic habits, and then there's something that is indicative of something being wrong, such as a sudden change. If it gets to be over a week and you haven't gotten any calls, ask her if everything is okay and use the fact that you haven't done a call in over a week which struck you as odd since you've always done calls. If you word it this way it doesn't sound like you're insinuating something or accusing her of something.

[Dwessie]

We just tell each other.

We know each other's schedules but if things are going to change up we let the other know. We're in pretty close contact all day.

This, except my family is bad as heck at scheduling, but do things sometimes, so I can't ever give an ETA for how long I'll be out (We learned you can't rely on everybody here for those they'll always be wrong lol) so we just go by Busy Days and Boring Days.
We just tell each other if we're busy that day and then don't wait up for each other and get pleasantly surprised when the other goes on Skype.

It also helps that despite me being the one 24 year old in the world without a phone, she has both my parents' numbers as they get along really well, so sometimes I use their phones to throw texts explaining where I am and why I'm out late having fun, and she likes those, especially because I'll usually send a quick pic. (Hooray for my parents having personal phones their jobs pay for, hahaa....)

[differentcountries]

Did something happen in that past two weeks? Maybe she is simpy busy. Have you tried to call her to ask what does on in her life?