i feel like im going insane...

[Happygirl123]

ugh! sorry to be so down and gloomy guys, this is just the only place to vent my frustration! somehow typing away feels good...

anyway.. I don't know whats happening to me but im literally down almost all the time, I don't have enthusiasm to do things in my own life (not relationship with SO) and its just affecting me on a constant basis.

im yet to meet him. damn army wont release him, we have NO idea when we could possibly meet (hes coming to me- UK) (him-US). he's pending release so at the moment they cant even tell him if he will have Christmas break etc. also, they could change their mind and not release him (since his contract isn't actually ending- hes waiting for administrative dismissal due to an act of misconduct).

his contract ends 2017. im full time at uni. 5 exams this summer. so basically we are just, bleh. hanging. in air.

the fact that we don't even have a date in mind, or even a possibility of when we could 'get the ball' rolling scares the crap out of me. what will we do until then? how will we continue to be strong? im scared it's going to get too much for him. suffering from PTSD as well doesn't help his emotional rollercoaster.

we've known each other for almost a year, made it official 4 months ago, and care about each other immensely. spoke on the phone last night for 7 hours (I was keeping him company during a 24 hr shift- he was alone in the building).. it was my birthday last week and I am currently awaiting his gifts in the mail. I know he went through such a great effort to buy me gifts, he was at the mall literally every day until he found something nice.

im just so scared. his past has been rocky too, within the last year he rushed into 'serious' relationships, which all ended around the 4 month mark.
and they actually spent time with him, every day, every night.

why would he stick around for me? a girl he hasn't even met yet? someone who isn't a "quick fix".. by the time we can settle down together, I need to finish my studies, find a job, one of us needs to make the jump of moving etc etc. it just makes me think.. is he ready... I don't know what to think

[Unconditional]

Calm down, breath. He is with you for a reason girlie, and while it is normal to be scared. Sounds like you both need to have a discussion about the future to ensure you are both on the same page and it is something you both really do want. It is alright to discuss the future.
Also discuss the PTSD as it is something that will have to be discussed eventually.

[Happygirl123]

Calm down, breath. He is with you for a reason girlie, and while it is normal to be scared. Sounds like you both need to have a discussion about the future to ensure you are both on the same page and it is something you both really do want. It is alright to discuss the future.
Also discuss the PTSD as it is something that will have to be discussed eventually.

you're right. stop and breath. whew, I let myself get so carried away sometimes and my mind races at like 100mph. not good! will definitely discuss the ptsd, partly because I also don't really know what kind of effects to expect

[Unconditional]

you're right. stop and breath. whew, I let myself get so carried away sometimes and my mind races at like 100mph. not good! will definitely discuss the ptsd, partly because I also don't really know what kind of effects to expect

I would do some reading up on PTSD symptoms and whatnot, just to get an idea of what to expect, but also realize that PTSD symptoms are completely different depending on the person.

But yes, it is hard to stop the mind from wandering lol I completely understand mine does it sometimes. If you ever need to talk, my SO suffers from PTSD as well so do not be afraid to reach out to me if you need/have anything to talk about.

[Happygirl123]

I would do some reading up on PTSD symptoms and whatnot, just to get an idea of what to expect, but also realize that PTSD symptoms are completely different depending on the person.

But yes, it is hard to stop the mind from wandering lol I completely understand mine does it sometimes. If you ever need to talk, my SO suffers from PTSD as well so do not be afraid to reach out to me if you need/have anything to talk about.

oh really? I guess you must be quite knowledgeable on the issue, I really appreciate your help/support, its nice knowing someone Is there to listen.

[Unconditional]

oh really? I guess you must be quite knowledgeable on the issue, I really appreciate your help/support, its nice knowing someone Is there to listen.

I try to help with what I can- I am not super knowledgeable, I dislike people thinking I know a ton just because I have dabbled a little in the issue you know?

[Happygirl123]

I try to help with what I can- I am not super knowledgeable, I dislike people thinking I know a ton just because I have dabbled a little in the issue you know?

yeah you know how to continue day to day living with it right? I guess that's the main thing.. as opposed to knowing tons on it, I did do some research on it a while back, and I felt like doing too much reading, especially on other people's experiences was kinda wrong since half the things weren't actually applicable to my SO

[Unconditional]

yeah you know how to continue day to day living with it right? I guess that's the main thing.. as opposed to knowing tons on it, I did do some research on it a while back, and I felt like doing too much reading, especially on other people's experiences was kinda wrong since half the things weren't actually applicable to my SO

I suppose you could say that, though my SO and I have not closed the distance. I guess I should phrase it like this: I found how to make it work for us, and that is different for every couple. It requires a lot of talking to your SO and figuring out what they need when they feel a certain way.

[whatruckus]

Like Unconditional said, do as much research as you possibly can on PTSD. My SO suffers from PTSD, depression, stress, and anxiety. It's not going to be easy, by any means. It makes it even harder when you're LD. We don't have a set time for closing the distance, and we've already been together for almost 2 1/2 years. It definitely won't happen anytime soon, not for at least 3 or 4 years. What will make your relationship work is first, take a deep breath and calm down. You both need to put the effort in. Stop freaking out that he isn't going to stay, or things aren't going to work. That's the worst thing you could do, your negativity will impact the relationship and impact him into thinking that, if you don't have hope, why should he.

[snow]

I wonder, if he has enough time to go to the mall every day to find a gift to you, does that mean he has a lot of time off during the day? Maybe it would make more sense for you to visit him if that is the case. This way you could meet and hang out and at least get a feeling for each other, give each other hope.