Started a new relationship, need some advice

[JC2122]

Met a man online about 3 months ago, and at first it was just sexual with him and he did not want to chat normal with me, up till about a month ago i asked him why he would never talk normal with me he said because he has a daughter and i said ok and gave up feeling like an object. Also learned that he had lied to me to initiate the conversation to begin with and when he knew that I knew that he lied he was very apologetic about it and I accepted his apology. About a week ago feeling lonely I messaged him and we actually talked, and we talked and talked. One night we talked for over 2 hrs which at the end I felt like he was shutting me out, so I hung up and said I give up. Well he called back and pleaded with me to stay, he told me he was falling in love with me. I decided to give him a chance as I myself was starting to have some very strong feelings for him. The next morning we exchanged I love you's and ever since then its been pretty good. I told him I felt things were going extremely fast but he said he does not feel this way. I told him I would take a chance and give him my heart and he told me that he would never let it go. In fact today he told me that I'm his girl that he will protect me love me and keep me close. So sweet. I guess why I came here is because I am not looking to be hurt again and I need help figuring out what his intentions are. He has already told me that he sees me as wifey material. And I was wanting to make sure we were on the same page so i asked him if he was still my boyfriend, and he told me until the day I become your husband. I'm feeling a bit confused by everything that has happened and I feel like this "relationship" is on fast forward. I need help figuring things out. What does it sound like is his intentions? Do you think this is real? Keep in mind also he is a single dad to a 4 yr old. I was also thinking about planning to fly out there for a weekend so that we could meet and talk and everything, and I told him that it would save me quit a bit of money if I could just stay with him for the 3 days but he said it would be best to get a room, which made me a bit confused. I know his mom and daughter are there but is that such a big deal? Like I mentioned I am very confused by everything. Any opinions and suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your time!

[p_b82]

If you think things are moving too fast then tell him so, and slow it down. You must remain in control of the situation if you are not comfortable with it then say so.

I think he has valid reasons for not wanting you to stay in his house, but it suggests to me that his intentions on that first meeting will be sexual, maybe something you are not concerned by, maybe it is - personally I would make sure I knew exactly what the expectations are on the first visit - in fact I did that very thing with my ex, so there was no confusion or awkwardness at the time.

I'll be honest, to go from cybersex for 2.5 months to being 'wife material' is really rather quick - I'd be wanting to slow things down if I were in your shoes!

[R&R]

If you think things are moving too fast then tell him so, and slow it down. You must remain in control of the situation if you are not comfortable with it then say so.

I think he has valid reasons for not wanting you to stay in his house, but it suggests to me that his intentions on that first meeting will be sexual, maybe something you are not concerned by, maybe it is - personally I would make sure I knew exactly what the expectations are on the first visit - in fact I did that very thing with my ex, so there was no confusion or awkwardness at the time.

I'll be honest, to go from cybersex for 2.5 months to being 'wife material' is really rather quick - I'd be wanting to slow things down if I were in your shoes!

I 100% agree with p_b82 on this. Quite honestly, from how things started (you feeling like a sexual object and lies) only 3 months ago to now talking about marriage are huge jumps in a small time frame. I also wonder if you hadn't stood up to him if he just would have continued as it was. Personally, I see way too many red flags. If this situation had happened to me, I would have ended it and walked away.

[Redheart14]

P_b82 had said it all pretty much. I would be slowing things down. Also if you do go and meet I'd want to meet his family. If he's talking about marriage already I'd be wanting to meet his daughter and mother. His daughter is a huge part of his life, seeing if you two get along is crucial. I'd tread carefully, slow things down. If you mean as much to him as he says it'll be fine. Trust your gut instinct you need to feel safe and comfortable.

[whatruckus]

I've read numerous articles about something similar to your situation. Usually, if someone starts bringing up marriage that quickly, without really committing, he's just trying to keep you around and he's not actually serious. He's telling you things you want to hear so you'll keep talking to him and cybering with him.

I honestly don't think he has any real intentions of being with you, especially with how things started out and how he was already lying to you, and now jumping into telling you that you're "wifey material". I would pass on this guy if I were you. He sounds really immature for someone who has a daughter.

[oinkpig329]

hmmm. With the information you've provided it does sound a little sketchy. He fell in love with you after one day of talking? I would maybe wait a little longer to visit, make sure he's in it for longer and not just to have real sex with you. Good luck!

[Unconditional]

Here's my experience. My ex was very for lack of a better word sexual. He used to call me wifey.. Saying that I was the only one for him well guess what? It took him about two weeks to find a girl back home. Two weeks!

Not saying this will happen to you, just be careful. One cannot turn from a sex only relationship into a love filled one so quickly as he has turned on a dime.
I agree with pb and other previous posters.