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He doesnt express himself well! :(

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    He doesnt express himself well! :(

    okay so I don't know what it is but for me it is so easy to express and tell him how much I miss him and can't wait to see him. He has always been this way. not very expressive but when we are together it's not like that. I wish he was more open and wanting to tell me how much he missed me. And he says you know how much I miss you and want to see you, I don't have to tell you...you already know. but it's still nice to hear. so what should or can I do or just leave it? We will be together again in October when he moves here

    #2
    first of all congrats to him moving there in october! thats very soon

    but have you tried talking to him about it? a lot of guys are like that, where they know you know how they feel so they don't feel the need to express it that often.
    but a lot of girls love hearing it because it just reasures that feeling. i would really try to just talk to him, don't attack, but just tell him you really appreciate when he says those things, and maybe he'll understand. it might take him some time to get used to saying it, but i'm sure if he knows you really appreciate it he will put in the effort.

    my boyfriend loves to express his feelings because he loves when i express them too but we both know we like hearing it, and we have an understanding towards how the other one feels

    communication is key!
    <3
    sigpic

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      #3
      I can really relate to what you're saying. I was just talking with my bf about this yesterday, in fact. He said essentially the same thing your SO did when I mentioned it. He's great at expressing himself when we're together in person. But, at a distance, he's less likely to do so. It's frustrating to me. It would be nice to hear that he misses me too occasionally, rather than to be expected to just know these things! I'm pretty low maintenance, and I don't need to hear it often, but once in a while? Yeah! He didn't take offense, it just never occurred to him, I guess. I doubt my bf will change, but at least telling him made me feel a bit better about it. I just try to keep in mind that he does express it when we're together, so I can be happy with that.

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        #4
        I used to have that trouble too. See if you say the words, then most times you have to feel the emotions. Sometimes it is too painful to feel that so not saying words means I don't have to feel sad/lonley. Sometimes it is the only way to cope with the distance. Glad he will be there in October though.

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          #5
          Like Amanda said, loads of guys play the assumption game. But see I don't tell my guy I miss him because it's usually shown in other ways like what I choose to text him, any short stories I write, my drawings, etc. But if you really feel you need to hear/read such sentiments to get something from them instead of just assuming back, then tell him that your already knowing isn't enough, you need verbal confirmation/reassurance. If he's not comfortable with it, don't force it and accept that he's either tried or it's something you need to learn to compromise on.

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            #6
            My guy is like that too, and he's always going to be like that, it's part of who he is. It's frustrating as hell, but I've gotten accustomed to it in a way. He may never do the lovey-dovey stuff, but he sacrifices sleep in order to talk to me most nights. He's a 7 hours time difference, so it's 1:00am for him when I get home from work. When I visit, he does my laundry. My first visit, he made sure I had my own brand new pillow, towel and slippers. He's changed a lot of things in his life for me, without my ever asking. I've realized it's the little things he does, without even mentioning them to me, that really count. Would I like him to open up and talk about feelings and emotions? Absolutely! But I'll take him anyway We've argued about it, because it does leave me feeling less than secure, but he's completely honest about it at least.
            Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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              #7
              Psh, honey it's not just guys! My SO is HORRIBLE at expressing herself and gets upset with me when I'm ranting and all she'll say is sorry and I get so angry and be like "that's it?!" I'm very expressive as you are, any and every feeling. My so is very much like I'm Fine, withdrawing when she's upset and it tends to be over a period of days and it really hurts the relationship. When I'm stressed about something and try to bring it up and maybe I'll over do it she'll get angry and what not. Most of the time I feel like it's my fault and that maybe I should change cause I bring it up she's defensive. All it does is start fights, so I'd recommend bringing it up but from the past 16 months with my partner I know better then to bring it up, my bet advice CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY. Last time I brought it up, she broke up with me. =/
              Met: 1.20.09 (At School)
              Starting Dating: 5.22.09
              Been an LDR since: 8.17.10 (3 hours distance)
              Last Time I saw my SO: 10.02.10
              Next time I will see my SO: 10.14.10

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                #8
                Originally posted by Moon View Post
                My guy is like that too, and he's always going to be like that, it's part of who he is. It's frustrating as hell, but I've gotten accustomed to it in a way. He may never do the lovey-dovey stuff, but he sacrifices sleep in order to talk to me most nights. He's a 7 hours time difference, so it's 1:00am for him when I get home from work. When I visit, he does my laundry. My first visit, he made sure I had my own brand new pillow, towel and slippers. He's changed a lot of things in his life for me, without my ever asking. I've realized it's the little things he does, without even mentioning them to me, that really count. Would I like him to open up and talk about feelings and emotions? Absolutely! But I'll take him anyway We've argued about it, because it does leave me feeling less than secure, but he's completely honest about it at least.
                I totally agree with you. My so is totally flawed in the emotions department but she gives up a lot to be with me. She'll get up at the crack of dawn to take buses to see me, she'll risk her relationship with her family to sneak around to be with me. (Her partners are NOT ok with her dating me, they're VERY religious) Everyone has their good and bad, you just learn to deal with it. I've learned to not poke at her when she's angry and let her come to me when she's ready. The best thing anyone ever told me was "When you open up to someone, there's a better chance they'll open up to you!"
                Met: 1.20.09 (At School)
                Starting Dating: 5.22.09
                Been an LDR since: 8.17.10 (3 hours distance)
                Last Time I saw my SO: 10.02.10
                Next time I will see my SO: 10.14.10

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                  #9
                  Exact same problem here!!!! He thinks I'll get depressed if he tells me. ._. It sucks. He doesn't have to put up a strongman front for me. >.< I've talked to him many times, but I don't think it will ever change. :P I live with it.

                  Also I have the same problem as your lady, loveonspeedial. My parents are from a nasty brainwashing religion and they're going to hate me when I leave to be with my man. Haha. . .
                  Last edited by Kiyenna; September 6, 2010, 09:54 PM.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by loveonspeedial View Post
                    (Her partners are NOT ok with her dating me, they're VERY religious)
                    Oh no I'm sorry to hear that. That's gotta be hard on your SO, I hope you guys don't have to deal with parent drama for too long!
                    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                      #11
                      Some people just don't feel the need to say it over and over...he trusts that you know it

                      October!!!! Lucky! I am very happy for yoU!!!
                      NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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                        #12
                        I know guys are not very emotional when they don't have to be. You should tell him how you feel! Best of luck!

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