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    #1

    Visiting Dilemma

    Hello, I'm hoping somebody can offer me advice on the problem I'm facing about visiting my girlfriend for the first time...

    We have been planning a visit for the summer for a 3/4 months now and I was originally going to fly to America in June/July after my final exams finish. This seemed fine until my parents said that they'd want me to go when I was 18 and had some recent flying experience (going to Spain in July) and was comfortable with the process of checking in etc. They also want me to work in June and July to get some good money (I am going on a gap year before going to University). This has caused problems due to my girlfriend going to University on August 20th, and I only arrive back from Spain on August 14th. I was planning on visiting her sometime after my holiday (which my parents agreed with), so between August 20th - September, this seems impossible now due to the fact her first break in University is November which is only for a couple of days...and then not again until December, which in my opinion, would be too long to wait.
    Should I talk to my parents about re-arranging my visit? Should I give up on our relationship? It's perfect but there always seems to be a new barrier. I'm feeling really down at the moment, any words of advice?

    Thanks.
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    #2
    If you feel comfortable going and you have the money for a visit, just go. Visits are imporant. You can work later. When I first visited SO, it was only my second time to travel alone internationally. The most important things are reallly to drink a lot and have extra time. A lot of the time you just follow the crowd and the boards.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Also, are you not 18 yet? Your listed age says 20.

      But, I still agree with DC.

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        #4
        LDRs are all about barriers and how to overcome them to be with the one you love. If you want to give up over something like this than maybe an LDR isn't for you. Try talking to your parents once again. Like DC said you could work later and if you have the money and the opportunity to go then just go.

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          #5
          Originally posted by TheSteelAngel View Post
          LDRs are all about barriers and how to overcome them to be with the one you love. If you want to give up over something like this than maybe an LDR isn't for you. Try talking to your parents once again. Like DC said you could work later and if you have the money and the opportunity to go then just go.
          I have the money but I wouldn't want to go against my parent's wishes. She's the only one for me, I know that. I am not willing to give up over something like this, I just want us to be together...
          Thanks for the advice.

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            #6
            Then find a way to show your parents that you are mature and can deal with it. Try to come up with solutions they will accept. Is it possable to visit Spain first, then go to her for two weeks and then work the rest of the summer?
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

            Comment

              #7
              I would suggest you update your age in your profile, just because the advice given is based on that often, and as you are still 17 - what suggestions made can be very different as a result....

              With that said, if you have funds for you flights yourself, then I would say go in the window that better suits you and your GF. Flying long haul is no different to short haul, the only difference if you are connecting on the US side is putting you bag on a conveyor after going through customs when you initially land - nothing else is any different in terms of process.

              If you have that discussion with your parents in a sensible and rational conversation, and prove that you have done the required research - getting your ESTA, how to go through the airport on either end etc, then they should be able to treat you as the adult you nearly are and hopefully that is the end of it. If they stick to their guns then you need to be prepared to either accept their advice or go against it and pay the price for the consequences if you do so.

              I would add that just because you can't go this summer, would not in my mind be a reason to give up on the relationship if that is the way it pans out.... but that is just me..

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                #8
                Update - I will be visiting in July after speaking to my parents about it, a little scared but excited at the same time. Can't wait for my visit and she will be visiting me in November or December. Thanks everyone.

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