Visits!

[oinkpig329]

So I get to visit my SO about once a month. I've noticed that every time for about the first day I get really irritated at everything he does and don't really know why. After that one day then things go back to normal. My fear is that it's a sign or something that we're not ment to be. I think it's just adjusting to being around him again and reestablishing who we are in our relationship but I wonder if anyone else has experienced this or has any thoughts about this?

[snow_girl]

Oh dear... oh dear oh dear. This is not a good sign at all. Unless you can always feel deep desire and a sense of calmness around your SO, your relationship is doomed. I'm sorry to tell you this but I think that feeling agitated by him as soon as you see him is a really bad sign and if you aren't filled with love and passion the first day you see him after a period of absence then the only solution is to be together apart the first day. Blindfold yourself so that while you are with him you don't have to actually look at him and sit across the room from each other so you don't need to experience the irritation. Good luck!

[oinkpig329]

My thoughts are that a)I have the day so built up in my mind that it can't live up to it b)I have a bit of a problem with long term commitment and I want to know RIGHT NOW how the relationship will go but that doesn't give me the time I need to get used to the idea of actually getting married c)because of the commitment problem mentioned in b, I somehow expect him to be perfect if we're going to work out and I get very irrational. Once I get a chance to talk to him and begin to reestablish our intimacy then everything is wonderful again.

[MissButterfly]

(Snow_girl's post was dripping with sarcasm, just pointing that out because your reply seemed serious)
You need to chill out. It may be for all of the reasons you mentioned, and if it bothers you so much you can try talking to your SO or trying harder to realize next time what exactly makes you feel that way. The bottomline is, if you're not generally unhappy in your relationship, feeling a bit off the first day is no big deal if the rest of the visit is as good as always. Once you close the distance, there won't be a 'first day' anymore, so problem solved right?

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I had that the whole first week of a three week visit. I was convinced that it was the end and I couldn't wait for him to go home because literally EVERYTHING annoyed me. Funny thing though, after that first week I fell in love with him again. The problem with the first week is that we wanted to spend ALL of our time together. When you go from not seeing someone for months to seeing them CONSTANTLY and never being able to get away to have a moment to yourself, it definitely makes a difference in how you perceive the little things your SO is doing. After we gave each other some space and did our own thing, we genuinely enjoyed the time that we got to spend again. Now that we learned that, we have no problems even though we are basically living together. Make sure that you give yourself some space that first day if that's when you experience these feelings. It is a huge change to go from not seeing them to seeing them again. It just is. There is nothing wrong with you and a definitely doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed.

[oinkpig329]

(Snow_girl's post was dripping with sarcasm, just pointing that out because your reply seemed serious)

This is why I shouldn't read forums after midnight! Thanks!