My relationship seems it’s failing and I don’t know what I can do to fix it. Ever since it was made public to our parents it has been a nightmare and it seems things are falling apart very quickly. I live in Indiana and my girlfriend lives in Wisconsin. It’s about a 500 mile, 7 ½ hour drive. Up until January of this year, we would try visit each other once a month and spend a weekend together at either location.
I met my girlfriend a little over 2 years ago in March of 2013 via the internet. Two months later, we committed to a long distance relationship. We talked, we texted, and skyped just about daily. We would usually call around 11pm and fall asleep together. It allowed for “pillow talk” and it kept us sane and together. A year later in March of 2014, we made the arrangements to meet one another in her hometown in Wisconsin. We are both shy of 18, and we felt the best to meet each other at the city park. We had known each other for a year and interacted daily. Safety was not a concern as I knew it would not be.
From that time, we visited just about every month. 90% of the time I drove to Wisconsin where she was and got a hotel for the weekend. We eventually went from having one overnight to two, as for such a long drive we wanted to maximize our time together. We hated waking up Sunday morning knowing we’d have to part in a few hours. Tears began hours before by both of us of the thought of having to leave each other, even though we were still physically together. Driving home was generally a terrible time, but I looked forward to our next time to make new memories and continue our love.
We kept our relationship a secret from our parents. Hers are very strict and as you read on, not a fan of any of this (we’ll get to that soon). Mine are generally nosey and are less about the aspects of the relationship and more about “what if your car breaks down”. My mother’s a worrier and almost annoying about it. I knew keeping her out of the relationship for the most part would be best, even though I knew she would be supportive. Just not supportive of the driving and my money being spent. I’m traveling 1,000 miles round trip once a month in my parent’s vehicle that has been loaned to me for my personal use. It’s mine, but it’s still theirs.
January 2015 came around and my girlfriend and I did another great weekend together in Wisconsin. Soon after, I began throwing around the idea of telling our parents. We knew it wouldn’t be pretty and we put it off for many weeks as it just scared us thinking about it. I knew her parents would be very upset about someone dating their daughter that they don’t know or “approve of yet”, and especially out of state and “older”. I turned 18 last year and I’m still waiting on my girlfriend to.
In March, we told our parents. Hers were pissed. Mine were pissed, but not so much. Obviously my mother is worrying over the entire thing (my father is a more silent type and likes to stay out of situations as much as he can). Her parents were extremely upset. Because she is not 18 yet and I am, they said I cannot have any physical contact with her and anything they find out otherwise they would report me. However, they continued to let me have contact with her via calling, text, FaceTime, etc. I talked to them on a few occasions to introduce myself and try to work with them via moving forward. My parents calmed down from the situation and are very neutral about it, so they’re no longer a factor. Hers still play a major one because now I can not see her due to their restrictions. After warming up to them via phone calls, texts, and skype conversations, her parents invited me up at the end of May to go to her graduation and party. While I’d gladly attend, I hate that I have to be introduced at a giant public event where they can ignore me and pretend I’m not there. This is a very serious relationship for me and my girlfriend and it’s unfortunate her parents don’t see that. I’d prefer a 1 on 1 interaction with them without any other distractions. I feel put down by the lack of hospitality and kindness. My girlfriend asks them all the time what she and they can do, however they try to not even think about it because it makes them uncomfortable. They’re hiding the problem someplace hoping that it’ll fizzle away eventually. Unfortunately, it’s beginning to be that way.
She turns 18 in September which puts us in the free, however only a month has passed and we’ve “broken up” three times. A couple months ago, we would see each other monthly, and we always had something to look towards. Now, there doesn’t seem to be anything attainable at the end of the tunnel. September feels so far away and the end of May will be nearly 4 months since we’ve seen each other last. It’s causing my girlfriend to lose her motivation for our relationship and I’ve been certainly noticing. She says she can’t “feel me” anymore because I’m no longer there and our relationship feels so distant. I feel the same way. I try to talk to her about it and do what we can to make the best, but it only gets her down and depressed enough where nothing gets resolved and things only get worse. Lately, we’ve had tons of fights over some of the stupidest things. I think what is happening is that since the relationship feels distant, maybe threatening it or “poking it with a stick” might do something to change it. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been going very well at all.
Thanks to her parents and their inability to be hospitable to a relationship that was 2 years in the making, our motivation is lost and our outlook is grim. We are prohibited from seeing each other besides of what they approve and they’ve been doing all they can to not think about it because it “distresses them”. My girlfriend and I are on the verge of breaking and I feel so horrible because I’d just look terrible towards her parents if that would to happen. I love her deeply, and I cannot imagine not being with her. I just can’t. It would emotionally kill me. This is the first person I clicked with. I would hate to lose someone I truly loved. I feel I’m so lost and helpless I can’t do anything. My girlfriend is relying that I do something. I can’t.
We’ve been picking fights just to pick fights. We’ve been getting on each other’s cases about stupid things here and there. We’ve yelled at each other, accused each other of things, and it feels that love I felt a year ago is no longer there anymore. I feel ashamed to love her sometimes because her parents are so heartless against me for doing so. We both want to be together, and we both want to make things better - but not being able to is putting us both down to the dirt. It’s absolutely horrible and it has been the worse I’ve felt in my life thus far. I feel absolutely helpless and I don’t see how I can save our relationship if there’s nothing we feel to “work towards” anymore. It’s only been a month - how are we supposed to survive until September?
The idea of telling our parents was to make things better and move forward with our relationship. It’s only destroyed it. What can I do?
I met my girlfriend a little over 2 years ago in March of 2013 via the internet. Two months later, we committed to a long distance relationship. We talked, we texted, and skyped just about daily. We would usually call around 11pm and fall asleep together. It allowed for “pillow talk” and it kept us sane and together. A year later in March of 2014, we made the arrangements to meet one another in her hometown in Wisconsin. We are both shy of 18, and we felt the best to meet each other at the city park. We had known each other for a year and interacted daily. Safety was not a concern as I knew it would not be.
From that time, we visited just about every month. 90% of the time I drove to Wisconsin where she was and got a hotel for the weekend. We eventually went from having one overnight to two, as for such a long drive we wanted to maximize our time together. We hated waking up Sunday morning knowing we’d have to part in a few hours. Tears began hours before by both of us of the thought of having to leave each other, even though we were still physically together. Driving home was generally a terrible time, but I looked forward to our next time to make new memories and continue our love.
We kept our relationship a secret from our parents. Hers are very strict and as you read on, not a fan of any of this (we’ll get to that soon). Mine are generally nosey and are less about the aspects of the relationship and more about “what if your car breaks down”. My mother’s a worrier and almost annoying about it. I knew keeping her out of the relationship for the most part would be best, even though I knew she would be supportive. Just not supportive of the driving and my money being spent. I’m traveling 1,000 miles round trip once a month in my parent’s vehicle that has been loaned to me for my personal use. It’s mine, but it’s still theirs.
January 2015 came around and my girlfriend and I did another great weekend together in Wisconsin. Soon after, I began throwing around the idea of telling our parents. We knew it wouldn’t be pretty and we put it off for many weeks as it just scared us thinking about it. I knew her parents would be very upset about someone dating their daughter that they don’t know or “approve of yet”, and especially out of state and “older”. I turned 18 last year and I’m still waiting on my girlfriend to.
In March, we told our parents. Hers were pissed. Mine were pissed, but not so much. Obviously my mother is worrying over the entire thing (my father is a more silent type and likes to stay out of situations as much as he can). Her parents were extremely upset. Because she is not 18 yet and I am, they said I cannot have any physical contact with her and anything they find out otherwise they would report me. However, they continued to let me have contact with her via calling, text, FaceTime, etc. I talked to them on a few occasions to introduce myself and try to work with them via moving forward. My parents calmed down from the situation and are very neutral about it, so they’re no longer a factor. Hers still play a major one because now I can not see her due to their restrictions. After warming up to them via phone calls, texts, and skype conversations, her parents invited me up at the end of May to go to her graduation and party. While I’d gladly attend, I hate that I have to be introduced at a giant public event where they can ignore me and pretend I’m not there. This is a very serious relationship for me and my girlfriend and it’s unfortunate her parents don’t see that. I’d prefer a 1 on 1 interaction with them without any other distractions. I feel put down by the lack of hospitality and kindness. My girlfriend asks them all the time what she and they can do, however they try to not even think about it because it makes them uncomfortable. They’re hiding the problem someplace hoping that it’ll fizzle away eventually. Unfortunately, it’s beginning to be that way.
She turns 18 in September which puts us in the free, however only a month has passed and we’ve “broken up” three times. A couple months ago, we would see each other monthly, and we always had something to look towards. Now, there doesn’t seem to be anything attainable at the end of the tunnel. September feels so far away and the end of May will be nearly 4 months since we’ve seen each other last. It’s causing my girlfriend to lose her motivation for our relationship and I’ve been certainly noticing. She says she can’t “feel me” anymore because I’m no longer there and our relationship feels so distant. I feel the same way. I try to talk to her about it and do what we can to make the best, but it only gets her down and depressed enough where nothing gets resolved and things only get worse. Lately, we’ve had tons of fights over some of the stupidest things. I think what is happening is that since the relationship feels distant, maybe threatening it or “poking it with a stick” might do something to change it. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been going very well at all.
Thanks to her parents and their inability to be hospitable to a relationship that was 2 years in the making, our motivation is lost and our outlook is grim. We are prohibited from seeing each other besides of what they approve and they’ve been doing all they can to not think about it because it “distresses them”. My girlfriend and I are on the verge of breaking and I feel so horrible because I’d just look terrible towards her parents if that would to happen. I love her deeply, and I cannot imagine not being with her. I just can’t. It would emotionally kill me. This is the first person I clicked with. I would hate to lose someone I truly loved. I feel I’m so lost and helpless I can’t do anything. My girlfriend is relying that I do something. I can’t.
We’ve been picking fights just to pick fights. We’ve been getting on each other’s cases about stupid things here and there. We’ve yelled at each other, accused each other of things, and it feels that love I felt a year ago is no longer there anymore. I feel ashamed to love her sometimes because her parents are so heartless against me for doing so. We both want to be together, and we both want to make things better - but not being able to is putting us both down to the dirt. It’s absolutely horrible and it has been the worse I’ve felt in my life thus far. I feel absolutely helpless and I don’t see how I can save our relationship if there’s nothing we feel to “work towards” anymore. It’s only been a month - how are we supposed to survive until September?
The idea of telling our parents was to make things better and move forward with our relationship. It’s only destroyed it. What can I do?
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