I just returned for my monthly visit with my LDR. I try to see him every 30 days. It was a great visit, and we talked a little about our future we have only been together for 5 soon to be 6 months. He is very guarded with his heart. quote " I stood in front of 250 people and my family and gave my heart to my ex and then she crushed my world" I know he loved her very much and she hurt him very bad. They have been divorce now for 2 years and I think I'm the first real relationship he has been in, according to his friends. He has introduce me to his family He has 3 children that adore me and I adore them, and friends and we went to a party Saturday night with co-workers,so I know he has feelings for me, so I guess you wondering what I have a problem with, How do I break that wall he has down, I really am falling for him very hard and really want a future with him, Is there anything I can do to reassure him that I'm not her, ( she was not a maternal person he has the kids). I don't want to fall anymore for him If there no way I can break down that wall. Any advice will be great.
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Have you discussed this with him? Have you asked him what he needs and wants from this relationship, and from you? Chances are high he just needs time; a divorce is a rough situation, and doesn't leave you emotionally unscarred. But you'll have to ask him about his needs, we can't read his mind.
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the river -
I have touched on the subject a little don't want to push to much and push him away.... I know divorce is a very difficult..... when I try to talk about our feelings he will respond about how much the kids adore me and think the world of me... but it like he just won't let himself say he has feeling for me... but then I think if he didn't have feelings for me why is he allowing me to be around his kids..... he is very protected over his kids and I know he doesn't want them hurt again..... Just very confused. Never been in a LDR so being away is also new to me...Comment
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Just give him time. He'll open up to you in due time.Comment
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Thank you, I need to learn to be patient..... I'm so use to doing thing my self and it hard to give up the control..... He does talk about doing thing in the future with me.. I guess I just want to hear those words.....Comment
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I know the feeling. I'm trying to be patient too and it's just so hard haha. I also noticed that we started our relationships around the same time lol.Originally posted by Gayle1462 View PostComment
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We sure did.... Hope your relationship is going well.... I just wish he was closer so we could spend more time together, so he could see I'm not his ex. just spending 3 or 4 days every 30 days I just don't know if he can see the real me. I'm hoping this summer we will be able to spend more time together being the kids are out of school and he can come and visit me for a change....Comment
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Hey you're lucky that you get to see him at all lol. I still haven't met mine yet due to his job, but that will all change in about a month from nowOriginally posted by Gayle1462 View Post
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That's great good luck and thank for the advice...Comment
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Keep doing what you're doung. You'll slowly chip away all those feelings he has, there's no set time to recover from heartbreak, each person in completely different.
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Thank you for the encouragement, I just hope I don't blow it and push to much.... I really and falling for him.... but I'm not ready to give up and like I said he does make future plans with me....Comment
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Give it time. My SO and I have been together almost three years. He said he would never move here, and that he doesn't like kids (I have three). I spent many sleepless nights crying about that. Guess what? He ADORES my kids, and they love him back! And we recently closed the distance...meaning he officially lives here, with all his stuff, has rented out his house and changed his address. Unfortunately he hasn't gotten transferred yet, so he stays with his mom dug ring the week (a recent widow, so that works for her), and us here fri-mom morning. I didn't think it would ever happen for me...but it has. Thankfully! Your time will come, too. Patience is a virtue we should all have.....wish I did! Good luck.sigpic
I love him. Forever. And every day after that.Comment
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I definitely agree with everyone else, just keep doing what you're doing. It sucks, but in time he'll come around. Some people take longer than others to heal and let that wall down. Even for just a little bit. It took my SO almost 2 1/2 years.Comment
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Hearing your story will helps thank you for sharing.... we have only been together 5 almost 6 months... so I'm not ready to move just yet.... but thinking about it..... I just need to have Patience...... and also realize he is a very busy man with 3 kids and no help!!!! I'm at home all by myself so I have time to miss him..... Thanks again for your encouragement......Comment
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