I'm so stressed out

[TheSteelAngel]

It doesn't bother me as much as it did. But I do worry if he doesn't even send a text. Thats because it is out of character for him, if he normally missed a few days then I'd of got used to it. But it's not something we've done. We don't speak every day but we always message. We did go 2 days once before I first met him and that was awful for me as I have an anxiety disorder so I just worried the whole time.
I'm sure he is fine and just sorting his stuff out. I hope you hear from him soon. As you say it's added exam stress. Just concentrate on those and hopefully you will be visiting him at the end of the month

I just texted him again and nothing. His phone must be off or something idk. It's frustrating but I won't text him anymore until after my finals are over and done with. I just need to think good thoughts and good things will happen hopefully lol

[whatruckus]

Boo! I was in Philly this weekend, I would've "stalked him" to make sure he was alright. :P Just kidding. I'm sure he's fine, he's probably being a butt about getting back to you. Mine does that. But, me being me, I annoy mine until he responds. Lol. Also, there were protestors in Center City this week because of Freddie Gray, so he may have been called in to the field as back-up. But, also being that he's in that district where it's kind of the boonies, I don't doubt there were things going on his district too. It's not really a "nice" area that your SO works in, my SO used to deliver around there at his old job, and I used to go to work with him when I had my old job (I only worked Mon-Thurs, so Thurs nights I went straight to my SO's from work and went to work with him on Fridays), so I'm sure they might have had him out on patrol too.

[TheSteelAngel]

Boo! I was in Philly this weekend, I would've "stalked him" to make sure he was alright. :P Just kidding. I'm sure he's fine, he's probably being a butt about getting back to you. Mine does that. But, me being me, I annoy mine until he responds. Lol. Also, there were protestors in Center City this week because of Freddie Gray, so he may have been called in to the field as back-up. But, also being that he's in that district where it's kind of the boonies, I don't doubt there were things going on his district too. It's not really a "nice" area that your SO works in, my SO used to deliver around there at his old job, and I used to go to work with him when I had my old job (I only worked Mon-Thurs, so Thurs nights I went straight to my SO's from work and went to work with him on Fridays), so I'm sure they might have had him out on patrol too.

Thanks for the tip lol. My SO told me that he doesn't get involved in Central, but the other areas he's at may have had protesting going on. He coulda told me though lol. I mean he told me when there was those Ferguson protesters in November and December ugh! He probably is just being a butt lol. I'll get you to stalk him for me next time you're in Philly lol jk

[TheSteelAngel]

Update

So after blowing his phone up today with text messages I finally got him to answer me. He told me that something happened at work that he can't talk about and he's been dealing with that. Well now I feel like shit now for letting myself get all crazy. If you've been reading any of my posts lately, you'll know that my grandpa died recently and I've been struggling with finals. It's no excuse for not being able to control my emotions but still it couldn't be helped I guess. He's a pretty forgiving guy so I hope he's not angry with me. I'll leave him alone for a bit obviously. After I finally thought I could get used to this it seems like I still have a long way to go.

[Blanca]

I don't blame you for being frustrated after going through all this. So you shouldn't think much about that. I'm sure, he'll understand and you can talk to him after he sorts out his problems.

[TheSteelAngel]

I don't blame you for being frustrated after going through all this. So you shouldn't think much about that. I'm sure, he'll understand and you can talk to him after he sorts out his problems.

Glad to here someone else's opinion on this. I really do want to talk to him about this so I'll give him the space he needs until then

[Miasmata]

I know others have said this before, but always remember that this is the kinda thing that's sadly par for the course in a relationship with a cop. Your needs are important and he should always make an effort to stay in touch, of course, but there WILL be times where that just isn't possible. This isn't a situation where anyone is particularly at fault - It just comes with the territory. Your feelings are as understandable as his. Make sure you got other ways to cope than just talking to him and also make sure he can be trusted to stay in touch when it's reasonably doable. Best of luck

[whatruckus]

So after blowing his phone up today with text messages I finally got him to answer me. He told me that something happened at work that he can't talk about and he's been dealing with that. Well now I feel like shit now for letting myself get all crazy. If you've been reading any of my posts lately, you'll know that my grandpa died recently and I've been struggling with finals. It's no excuse for not being able to control my emotions but still it couldn't be helped I guess. He's a pretty forgiving guy so I hope he's not angry with me. I'll leave him alone for a bit obviously. After I finally thought I could get used to this it seems like I still have a long way to go.

Don't be hard on yourself about it. He should've known better. You are his girlfriend, if anything, he should've let you know. All he had to do was text you back and say, "Look something happened at work, I'm fine, but I can't talk for a bit." Simple as that. It's something I tell my SO all the time. All I need to know is that you're fine, and I'll leave you alone. So, don't put all the guilt/blame on yourself and don't feel bad for worrying. Something "happening" isn't an excuse for him to ignore you for so long, when you have no other forms of communication, and no other ways to find out if he's okay. I've had numerous talks with my SO about this, and it's finally starting to set in.

Ignoring you for almost 4 days is a shitty thing to do, IMHO.

I think when things finally settle down, that you need to have the same talk with your SO that I have with mine on occasion. That being in an LDR isn't the same as being in a CD relationship and communication is extremely important. Understanding that he is a cop, and what not, it's not okay to go 4 days without letting you know if he was okay and ignoring you. It's not. He needs to understand that you have no one to contact if something were to happen to him and no one has a way to contact you (if, and when, his family and such find out about you). You live hundreds of miles away. It's not as if you can just drive by his house to check on him, no, you have to sit in the dark basically wondering if he's alright. Whatever happened at work really isn't an excuse for him to do what he did. There is ALWAYS time to shoot you a quick text. Always. When he's in the bathroom, at home watching TV, whatever. If something that important happened, he should've said something to you.

I don't know, this irritated me because I've been in the same position. Only, I tore my SO a new one. He's not as bad anymore. The worst part for me about the whole situation is thinking that he more than likely saw your texts to him, and saw how worried you were, and still ignored you. That doesn't fly with me.

[TheSteelAngel]

Don't be hard on yourself about it. He should've known better. You are his girlfriend, if anything, he should've let you know. All he had to do was text you back and say, "Look something happened at work, I'm fine, but I can't talk for a bit." Simple as that. It's something I tell my SO all the time. All I need to know is that you're fine, and I'll leave you alone. So, don't put all the guilt/blame on yourself and don't feel bad for worrying. Something "happening" isn't an excuse for him to ignore you for so long, when you have no other forms of communication, and no other ways to find out if he's okay. I've had numerous talks with my SO about this, and it's finally starting to set in.

Ignoring you for almost 4 days is a shitty thing to do, IMHO.

I think when things finally settle down, that you need to have the same talk with your SO that I have with mine on occasion. That being in an LDR isn't the same as being in a CD relationship and communication is extremely important. Understanding that he is a cop, and what not, it's not okay to go 4 days without letting you know if he was okay and ignoring you. It's not. He needs to understand that you have no one to contact if something were to happen to him and no one has a way to contact you (if, and when, his family and such find out about you). You live hundreds of miles away. It's not as if you can just drive by his house to check on him, no, you have to sit in the dark basically wondering if he's alright. Whatever happened at work really isn't an excuse for him to do what he did. There is ALWAYS time to shoot you a quick text. Always. When he's in the bathroom, at home watching TV, whatever. If something that important happened, he should've said something to you.

I don't know, this irritated me because I've been in the same position. Only, I tore my SO a new one. He's not as bad anymore. The worst part for me about the whole situation is thinking that he more than likely saw your texts to him, and saw how worried you were, and still ignored you. That doesn't fly with me.

Ahhh this made my day haha. Thank you and you are absolutely right. I really do need to have this talk with him or this will just happen again.

[whatruckus]

Ahhh this made my day haha. Thank you and you are absolutely right. I really do need to have this talk with him or this will just happen again.

Lol, you're welcome! It just really bothered me because I've been in your shoes more than once, and it's a VERY valid reason for being upset and worrying. Don't ever feel guilty about worrying, especially when he "disappears" like this. To me, to go that long without some sort of notification, is inexcusable. He would've even had time to say something to you when he sits in his car to go to work/home. Like I said, there IS actually plenty of time to send a quick text, and that was all you really needed. No explanation, just a "Hey, I'm fine. Sorry."

[TheSteelAngel]

Lol, you're welcome! It just really bothered me because I've been in your shoes more than once, and it's a VERY valid reason for being upset and worrying. Don't ever feel guilty about worrying, especially when he "disappears" like this. To me, to go that long without some sort of notification, is inexcusable. He would've even had time to say something to you when he sits in his car to go to work/home. Like I said, there IS actually plenty of time to send a quick text, and that was all you really needed. No explanation, just a "Hey, I'm fine. Sorry."

Really though that's all I want. I sent him a text on Sunday that I believe said "Hey if you see these texts please text me back. At least I'll know that you're ok," but nothing. Idk like I guess he deals with grief like that by shutting people out. We seriously need to have this talk.

[whatruckus]

Really though that's all I want. I sent him a text on Sunday that I believe said "Hey if you see these texts please text me back. At least I'll know that you're ok," but nothing. Idk like I guess he deals with grief like that by shutting people out. We seriously need to have this talk.

My SO does that. He's learning to finally open up. I told him if he didn't want me to leave, then he should stop pushing me away because that'd be the only thing that would make me leave.

[TheSteelAngel]

My SO does that. He's learning to finally open up. I told him if he didn't want me to leave, then he should stop pushing me away because that'd be the only thing that would make me leave.

Yeah I get ya. I'm the same way. There's only so much I could take y'know?

[Unicorn26]

I don't know how you managed to go so long without contact, I'd have been doing my nut!!!

My SO disappeared on me once, he was seriously ill and had collapsed at home. Luckily he'd phoned his dad first and he called an ambulance. He was on life support and was sedated, and spent 10 days in ICU. I knew something was wrong and it was the longest 10 days of my life....

Since then we keep in constant touch, texting every single day and phoning often. I don't demand massive long convos, just a quick "hey I'm ok" If he ever doesn't text me he knows I go bonkers with worry and he's really apologetic if he falls asleep without contacting me. He understands why I get so worried and he's the same with me, he always wants me to let him know I'm home and safe. It's called being respectful.

I think your SO has been incredibly selfish and disrespectful here, especially as he knew you have exams coming up and have had a recent bereavement, his behaviour would not be acceptable to me. Like others have said, it takes SECONDS to shoot a text. There is no excuse!!! I'm a chilled out kind of girl but I'd be going bonkers if I were you.

I know in LDR is tough because you don't want to start a fight, but equally, you can't swallow this. Tough as it is you have to get it out, otherwise it will fester and become toxic.

I had this situation recently too. My SO was away working and had a night off. He and his friends got very drunk and he was so intoxicated he couldn't text me that he was back at the hotel and ok. The next day my 92yr old grandma was going in for emergency surgery after she was found unconscious and collapsed. This he knew. When he eventually text me at 6pm my time the next day, I was so relieved to hear from him, but I did give him merry hell. I had a ton of stress that day and I did not need him adding to it. He'd never seen me like that before and I think I shocked him a bit...

You need to speak to him about this. Be honest, tell him how worried you were and ask him to explain why he couldn't find 3 seconds to shoot a text to say he's ok. It's really not that much to ask!!!

[TheSteelAngel]

I don't know how you managed to go so long without contact, I'd have been doing my nut!!!

My SO disappeared on me once, he was seriously ill and had collapsed at home. Luckily he'd phoned his dad first and he called an ambulance. He was on life support and was sedated, and spent 10 days in ICU. I knew something was wrong and it was the longest 10 days of my life....

Since then we keep in constant touch, texting every single day and phoning often. I don't demand massive long convos, just a quick "hey I'm ok" If he ever doesn't text me he knows I go bonkers with worry and he's really apologetic if he falls asleep without contacting me. He understands why I get so worried and he's the same with me, he always wants me to let him know I'm home and safe. It's called being respectful.

I think your SO has been incredibly selfish and disrespectful here, especially as he knew you have exams coming up and have had a recent bereavement, his behaviour would not be acceptable to me. Like others have said, it takes SECONDS to shoot a text. There is no excuse!!! I'm a chilled out kind of girl but I'd be going bonkers if I were you.

I know in LDR is tough because you don't want to start a fight, but equally, you can't swallow this. Tough as it is you have to get it out, otherwise it will fester and become toxic.

I had this situation recently too. My SO was away working and had a night off. He and his friends got very drunk and he was so intoxicated he couldn't text me that he was back at the hotel and ok. The next day my 92yr old grandma was going in for emergency surgery after she was found unconscious and collapsed. This he knew. When he eventually text me at 6pm my time the next day, I was so relieved to hear from him, but I did give him merry hell. I had a ton of stress that day and I did not need him adding to it. He'd never seen me like that before and I think I shocked him a bit...

You need to speak to him about this. Be honest, tell him how worried you were and ask him to explain why he couldn't find 3 seconds to shoot a text to say he's ok. It's really not that much to ask!!!

Oh I may have portrayed myself to be quite chill about this, but I wasn't. I'm an understanding person, and there really isn't much that bothers me, but this did. I really was going bonkers and it's as you say. My SO is extremely selfish sometimes and his mind is just so focused on stuff that he's dealing with that he doesn't even think about my feelings at all. We had a talk about this before but I guess we have to have this talk again ugh. Oh well, this can get better right? If we talk about all this things will get better right? I'm sure we could get through this...I hope haha.