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    #1

    his exgirlfriend

    Hi everyone,

    Before mario and I met he was dating someone else but things weren't going well. After we got together, he told her about our connection and his decision to be with me. The problem? She doesn't get it I don't think. Her Facebook profile still says she is in a relationship and yesterday she made a post public which she hasn't done before posting a past photo of them and again calling him her boyfriend. Side note:the girl is younger thanhim, in her mid 20s, and has a low self esteem.

    This whole thing is bothering me but I don't want this to affect us. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? Any advice?
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    #2
    You've only been in a relationship for a few weeks. I would simply bring it up to your SO and ask him to please have another talk with her. If he does and she continues, there really isn't a lot you can do about what she does. As long as he isn't participating in the charade, you'll have to let it go. The most you can do is block her, he can block her and move on with your lives. Eventually, she will do the same.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by R&R View Post
      You've only been in a relationship for a few weeks. I would simply bring it up to your SO and ask him to please have another talk with her. If he does and she continues, there really isn't a lot you can do about what she does. As long as he isn't participating in the charade, you'll have to let it go. The most you can do is block her, he can block her and move on with your lives. Eventually, she will do the same.
      ^^This. I have to agree. Ignoring her or blocking her is really all you could do.

      Comment

        #4
        thanks. what you said makes sense. I'm trying not to have a knee jerk reaction.

        Comment

          #5
          As long as your Bf doesn't seem to care about her, you shouldn't worry. This girl will move on after some time. So don't worry and ignore her don't worry.

          Comment

            #6
            Breakups can be rough, and not everyone can immediately accept the reality of things. I agree with the other posters - As long as your SO isn't encouraging her openly, you should just go on with your lives. She'll work through things eventually, and you shouldn't let anything out on her.

            ~
            It'll take a lot more than words and guns
            A whole lot more than riches and muscle
            The hands of the many must join as one
            And together we'll cross the river

            Comment

              #7
              She might not want everyone 's attention on it while the breakup is still fresh. Most people I know wait quite a while.
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

              Comment

                #8
                I've dealt with this (and still do on occasion). I agree with everyone else, as long as he doesn't entertain her, you'll be fine. It's been 2 1/2 years my SO and I have been together, and he and his ex were broken up for months before we got together, and she'll still text him every now and then that she misses him and loves him. Mind you, she's in another relationship and lives with her boyfriend. I guess my SO is "the one that got away" for her, though it's her fault the relationship failed (many times).

                It's a nuisance, yes, but like I said, as long as he doesn't do anything that is going to make her think they'll get back together, you're alright. Just ignore her. I blocked my SO's ex on Facebook so she couldn't stalk me. I just recently unblocked her because she can't see anything on my Facebook anyways, I made my settings super private after I realized she was stalking me. Plus, she can't see anything on my SO's Facebook either, he made his settings ultra private as well and they're not "friends" on Facebook. Just let her do her thing, she'll just look ignorant and immature once people find out the truth. No skin off your back.

                Comment

                  #9
                  yes, it IS a nuisance.
                  he did tell her to back off and stop posting about him and her since they are done. i'll try to focus on just him and i but between you and i, her denial is driving me nuts.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Well, ask yourself honestly: What does it matter? Do you really need her approval? Of course it's annoying, but don't give it any more importance than that. She can't take away what you have.

                    ~
                    It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                    A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                    The hands of the many must join as one
                    And together we'll cross the river

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I hate to be the one to say it, but are you sure that he is being honest with you? Yes, it is possible that she's delusional and still thinks that they are together even though he's made it clear. It also is possible that he hasn't broken it off/made it clear and is just telling you that it is. I'm absolutely not saying that this is definitely the case, but it is something worth at least briefly considering.

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                        #12
                        Another suggestion to why she does this, is that if they have had a turbulent relationship, they have probably broken it off and gotten back together again a couple of times, sort of indicating that any breakup they do is really more of a pause. So she might consider them to be on a pause, and you as irrelevant until time proves that you are in and that other girl out.
                        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                          Another suggestion to why she does this, is that if they have had a turbulent relationship, they have probably broken it off and gotten back together again a couple of times, sort of indicating that any breakup they do is really more of a pause. So she might consider them to be on a pause, and you as irrelevant until time proves that you are in and that other girl out.
                          This is exactly what I think is the issue with my SO's ex. She's still holding out hope that they'll get back together because they had gotten back together so many times.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            One ex of mine was kind of like this when we broke up. He asked me if there was ever a chance of getting back together, and as a future tip, never give people any ounce of hope when you break up with them. I told him the chances were slim and to not hold his breath. And for months he acted like I still belonged to him. I eventually had to tell him point black that we were over and I did not want him back. After that I kept him on friends lists but I blocked him from seeing personal information and seeing posts on facebook and such so that he wasn't getting any updated information on me. That gave him the message and kept him away.

                            Sounds like OPs SO might need to do something they haven't done just yet to get the point across.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              definately. you are absolutely right!!!

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