need help and advice

[iron22man]

Hello my name is brandon and i just asked by best friend to marry me. About a month or two later i had to leave for school and it has been extremely hard on us. We have been fighting and i know its about the distance. She has never been away for me like this. We have always and i really mean always seen each other everyday for the past 7 years. We dont have a lot of money so we cant afford to visit each other and im gonna be away for 2 or more yrs. This is all new to me and i guess i need help knowing how to handle the separation. I also need skype ideas please. If someone with experience can help with advice that would be so awsome.

[differentcountries]

You can't afford to visit for two plus years? No wonder she is upset... Why are you doing the school? Does she agree with your decition to move away for school?

[iron22man]

Yes she is supportive and understands why i had to leave. Im going to school so i can get a career that can support the both of us and so i can give her everything she deserves. Also because im in school i have no money and in CA its hard to get a job so she doesnt readdly have money either

[Miasmata]

You have never been apart, not even for vacations with the family or whatever? Also, are there ways for you both to save up money? Even just a little bit once in a while adds up over time.

[maybe__someday]

I know first hand that it's very difficult to save money when you have other responsibilities to take care of all the time. However, I've also discovered that just saving small amounts helps. It may not seem like a lot, but it all adds up in the end. I find it odd that you make it seem as if there is no way to see each other for 2+ years because you both can't afford it. There's lots of different ways to save, you don't have to go completely out of pocket; a couple of dollars here and there is all you need.

[Zephii]

I've had some marginal success making money off those survey websites. They pay like 20c or sometimes $2 per survey and they are time consuming as hell, but they are a way of making money if she's unable to find real work. And you's will be at your desks skyping a bit anyway, right? Worth looking into.

No visits kind of sounds like "no hope" to a lot of people. At worst, could you ask your family to chip in and bring you home for Christmas in leu of gifts? Or your birthday?

Beyond that, we found it helpful not to acknowledge the distance at all when we were doing it (Canada to Australia). We'd offer to get each other a drink when we got up to get our own, and a lot of our interactions would be role-play style. I'd "come home to him" at night (Skype). He'd "leave messages on my desk" when he left for work in the morning (offline msn, haha. Age is showing )
What it comes down to is attitude. You can have an awesome LDR or you can have an awful LDR. It's up to the both of you. You can celebrate how strong your love is and how you're dividing to conquer the future, or you can mope about going to social outings alone and only having mental hugs to comfort you.

Skype ideas! Well I had a laptop and he didn't, so he'd come with me while I cooked dinner, cleaned the house, bathed (he liked that the best, as you can imagine) and just... lived my life. It was very much like being in the same room. We both had to study, so we'd spend long hours studying together, not talking, just being companionable. It's nice to glance up and see their studious face, you know?

Give each other things to look forward too, be it a photo of the day, or a good morning message, and find ways to surprise each other too.

You'll get the hang of this, believe me. It isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be all bad either!

[iron22man]

Nope we have been with each other everyday i dont really have family but her shes been my whole life. Im trying to save money and so has she but with paying rent and school its really hard

[iron22man]

Yeah we r skyping a lot but its still really hard its not the same going from always being together to not at all is a drastic change for use. We r trying to stay up beat about it but this experience is extremely difficult. Im so blessed that im not the only one going threw this and i wanna thank all of you. It good to know there are others out there that i can relate and talk to about this.

[Zapookie]

Where there is a will, there is a way.

If you want to visit each other, you'll make it happen. It's great that you're in the same country and don't have visas to worry about, so that's a plus. It's just a matter of finding a way to make extra money and visiting on your time off.

[Miasmata]

Also, I honestly recommend learning to have fun on your own, too. The more comfortable you are spending some time alone, even when you are a social person, the easier you can let the relationship breathe. A relationship benefits from an interesting life going on outside of it, don't ignore that.

[TheSteelAngel]

Also, I honestly recommend learning to have fun on your own, too. The more comfortable you are spending some time alone, even when you are a social person, the easier you can let the relationship breathe. A relationship benefits from an interesting life going on outside of it, don't ignore that.

^^ I agree with this. You say that she is your whole world, while that's all cute and romantic it's actually not very healthy in your relationship. Increase your social circle by making new friends and have fun hanging out with them. You deserve to have some happiness on your own and she does too. Just make sure you always communicate with her and be there for her when she needs you and you'll be fine.