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i just need someone that listens

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    #1

    i just need someone that listens

    hi, my name is daniel and my native language is spanish not english so sorry for the grammar mistakes :c

    my story with her is way to long,so ill keep it short, we have meet in person a couple of times, we have given each other a lot of our lives and we have been through a lot for the past 2 years, both good and bad things, we have meet the worst of each other, we have fought, we have misbehave, we had our mistakes but never cheated on each other, that i know for sure, the thing is she is very pessimistic she always counts the bad over the good, she forgives but doesnt forget, and im the opposite im the one who believes in this the one who thinks we still can make it.

    recently she had enough of the distance and all that we have done wrong, and she broke up with me, she tells me that she still have feelings for me, but that we can only be friends, that she cares for me but doesnt believe in "we" anymore, and for me being the guy who still believes, it hurts like hell and ive been trying to reason with her, and trying to regain her hope, but doing so she got mad at me because i wasnt respecting her space and decision.

    the thing is that she is a very pretty girl and at the moment everyone knew we had broke, a lot of guys started trying to get to her, and i fear that if i just stay away ill lose her forever, and i fear that if i keep trying to talk about us she will end up hating me for not respecting her space and decision.

    i really dont know what to do, i have no idea of is going through her head about all of this. i have asked my friends but everyone just say give her up, just stop talking to her and find someone new, even try to hate her. and i cant do any of those things they say, thats why i have come here, because here are people that know that love is more than the world sells and may understand that i cannot just hate her.
    i need advise or an opinion, preferably from a girl because they can understand another girls more easily.
    but if just read all of this thank you for listening, it means the world to me.
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    #2
    I'm sorry, but she said no and that the distance is too much for her, and yes, you SHOULD respect that. It hurts, breakups are never fun, and it's absolutely okay that you need time to heal - But you can't force someone to be in a relationship they don't want. Not everyone can handle the distance. You shouldn't hate her over this, because everyone is entitled to their opinions and feelings (regardless of gender - Girl or boy doesn't matter, we're all individuals), but you should respect her and let her go. It's really hard, but if she's someone you truly care about, you'll respect her decision. All the best!

    ~
    It'll take a lot more than words and guns
    A whole lot more than riches and muscle
    The hands of the many must join as one
    And together we'll cross the river

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Miasmata View Post
      I'm sorry, but she said no and that the distance is too much for her, and yes, you SHOULD respect that. It hurts, breakups are never fun, and it's absolutely okay that you need time to heal - But you can't force someone to be in a relationship they don't want. Not everyone can handle the distance. You shouldn't hate her over this, because everyone is entitled to their opinions and feelings (regardless of gender - Girl or boy doesn't matter, we're all individuals), but you should respect her and let her go. It's really hard, but if she's someone you truly care about, you'll respect her decision. All the best!
      I agree.


      As tough and heartbreaking it is, sometimes the best for both is the hardest choice. Sure, everyone would love for people to defeat the distance but some people just simply can't cope and it isn't their fault. People are wired different ways and perhaps her idea of a relationship isn't the same as yours. Giving her space is the best thing you can do right now, she's made her decision even if it's not aligned with what you want. You need to look after yourself and find something to make you move on as hard as it is, you'll feel better again soon.

      Comment

        #4
        thank you for caring enough to read and write back. i know that is her decision and i know i have to respect. but is not the first time this happens, almost a year ago she left me to see if i cared enough to go after her, and i did. this time is similar too, thats why im confused.

        i dont know if she means it i dont know if she wants me to try harder

        Comment

          #5
          She may not be pessimististic, but maybe she is uncomfortable with a high level of drama. I know I couldn't live like that at all, even if I consider myself an optimistic person. It sounds like you may not get how hurt she may have become because of things that happened. If she wants it to end, she is entitled to make that decition.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Devr View Post
            thank you for caring enough to read and write back. i know that is her decision and i know i have to respect. but is not the first time this happens, almost a year ago she left me to see if i cared enough to go after her, and i did. this time is similar too, thats why im confused.

            i dont know if she means it i dont know if she wants me to try harder
            A relationship isn't something to play games with or "test" people in. Ask her directly about this - Ask her "Are you testing me?". If she reassures you that it's her honest decision, then you should trust her on that.

            ~
            It'll take a lot more than words and guns
            A whole lot more than riches and muscle
            The hands of the many must join as one
            And together we'll cross the river

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Devr View Post
              thank you for caring enough to read and write back. i know that is her decision and i know i have to respect. but is not the first time this happens, almost a year ago she left me to see if i cared enough to go after her, and i did. this time is similar too, thats why im confused.

              i dont know if she means it i dont know if she wants me to try harder
              Have you tried asking her? If you have tried asking her and all she has said is that she doesn't want it any more that means she probably doesn't want it at all. If not, and she's made hints that you still have a chance then you probably need to ask her to make it clear to you where you stand. Sometimes people's past actions do not necessarily mean that they want you to try harder, sometimes people have been pushed to their limit with what they can manage and it probably seems that her limit has been reached with her ability to cope in an LDR.

              Comment

                #8
                no i havent ask her directly, but neither i will. ill try to accept this as she said it is. ill take it seriously word by word. ill go away

                thank you

                Comment

                  #9
                  now i just need the strength to stay by my own and i still have a lot of things about her surrounding me, and a lot of memories a lot of her
                  this wont be easy

                  Comment

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