Alone & no one to talk to :(

[Happygirl123]

I am so grateful for this site to be able to connect to people in ldr's. I feel completely alone in this. The only person I am able to speak to about things is my mother, but we are going through a little patch at the moment. Plus she has many of her own concerns and worries, I really don't want to add this on her shoulders. in terms of friends, i don't have many close friends, just a couple friends who i know wouldn't care to listen to me blab on about the situation.

This ldr is suffocating my mind. lately me and him have been bickering for the most craziest and silly of things, sometimes it gets intense. no swearing or calling names at each other or anything, but arguing with your loved one over skype when thousands of miles away, is horrible. i feel like we are on a downward spiral but its the distance that is causing us to sometimes behave irrationally.

I care for him so incredibly much, and he says he feels the same way. but this ldr is getting in the way of my normal life now. i am studying for exams (i have an upcoming exam in 3 days) yet he is currently, as we speak, on the beach with his friends (a bunch of guys) hanging out having a beach party drinking beer.
dont get me wrong, i dont want to seem bitter that he is out enjoying himself and i am not. I wished i was part of all these things though. this ldr is proving to be harder than i thought.

he cancelled his ticket to see me last night. was meant to fly out in 10 days, but the army had not signed his paperwork in time with the processing goals, so this will be delayed. i feel like every time there is a glimmer of hope, it gets shut down? i hope i become more accustomed to this empty feeling, because that is the best way i would describe it. complete and total emptiness which takes over my mind and stops me from getting on with the things i should be doing.
feeling like i have no one to talk to doesn't help either...

[differentcountries]

I have many friends but I can't really talk to them about the LDR either. I get it, you want to be there with him and share things. And you being dependant on scedules for school and army might add to the stress. LDRs can be challenging but they are at the same time an uppertunity to grow. Imagine how much stronger you will be as a couple for dealing with the distance together!

I know the empty feeling. Without sounding gloomy, it never really goes away. But you can learn to make peace with it. Work on your communication and planning visits. Try to keep yourself occupied.

And remember, even if you were cd it might be irritating that he could enjoy himself while you had to study! You might have work scedules that don't quite match and so on. That is part if life...

Next time you want to say something mean, try to look for the need behind what you are about to say. Instead of saying: you are not thoughtful, say that you have a need for consideration. Instead of saying he doesn't listen, tell him you have a need for connection, to be heard etc. That shifts the focus over to what you want, not what you don't want. You can still be upset! But in a smarter way.

[SailorRei]

I think most of us in LDR come to the point when there is no one to talk to. We have friends and can talk to them once in a while, but they all get tired of listening the same things over and over again. So this site is the best thing ever! <3

Maybe the exam stress is affecting your LDR now, and as LDR is never easy, now it's just feels even more difficult. It's hard when you are not really in someone's life and can't share the same experiences but hey, after exams comes summer and maybe next meeting with your SO

I guess the emptiness is the price we all have to pay to get our happy ending!

[Happygirl123]

I have many friends but I can't really talk to them about the LDR either. I get it, you want to be there with him and share things. And you being dependant on scedules for school and army might add to the stress. LDRs can be challenging but they are at the same time an uppertunity to grow. Imagine how much stronger you will be as a couple for dealing with the distance together!

I know the empty feeling. Without sounding gloomy, it never really goes away. But you can learn to make peace with it. Work on your communication and planning visits. Try to keep yourself occupied.

And remember, even if you were cd it might be irritating that he could enjoy himself while you had to study! You might have work scedules that don't quite match and so on. That is part if life...

Next time you want to say something mean, try to look for the need behind what you are about to say. Instead of saying: you are not thoughtful, say that you have a need for consideration. Instead of saying he doesn't listen, tell him you have a need for connection, to be heard etc. That shifts the focus over to what you want, not what you don't want. You can still be upset! But in a smarter way.

Yes, I think at the moment the mixture of the army and exam life is really not helping and adding to the original stress. I just hope this feeling goes away! The emptiness that is. Like you said never completely, but it just feels so pronounced this time. Thank you for the advice though on how to diffuse the situation, sometimes I allow my emotions to get the best of me and later regret having said/done that particular thing.

[Happygirl123]

I think most of us in LDR come to the point when there is no one to talk to. We have friends and can talk to them once in a while, but they all get tired of listening the same things over and over again. So this site is the best thing ever! <3

Maybe the exam stress is affecting your LDR now, and as LDR is never easy, now it's just feels even more difficult. It's hard when you are not really in someone's life and can't share the same experiences but hey, after exams comes summer and maybe next meeting with your SO

I guess the emptiness is the price we all have to pay to get our happy ending!

I'm with you on the friends thing haha there are a lot of times that I want to discuss things, (positive things!) but I can tell that people are not really interested to listen to too much detail lol. Which is understandable. I've never been the kind of person to feel paranoid, or even jealous (not above the normal anyway). But the fact that he is taking much, much longer to reply than normal, and I know for a fact he is out with his friends...is driving me insane. I don't want to become that kind of person!

[chabel95]

I Know how frustrating it feel's to be somewhat left behind, and not able to feel upset about it, cause, well, you have no right to be upset, lets face it, that's his life, in this is yours, I get it, my bf travels all over the world, he started long before he met me, he loooves to travel, he works hard and saves up for his trips, he wants to take me along, he says part of us being together is so he can share all those experiences with me, but until recently I too, was a college student like you, couldn't afford anything, currently looking for a job as I write this, but my bf loves to make me happy, if he could he would fly me over every weekend, he has paid for most of our trips, and when we are together I feel safe, secure, he understands I'm not working, he pays for everything without thinking about it twice. but some trips are too expensive, or I'm too busy, or their just guy trips or trips he wants to share with his mom.. and I just can't make it, and of course I live in a complete different country so that's even more expensive... I felt your pain, just a few months ago he went out skiing with friends and.... me, well I had my head stuck in the books. It's awful I wont sugarcoat it, it sucks!, but you know what, it will pass, you will finish, my bf is my biggest supporter: " this is your time to study, I was in your shoes when it was my turn to study, I didn't party or go out, its ok, he said to me one day" so my advice is this, don't be mad at him, confused or upset, there's no reason to be... focus on your exams! he wont be there to fill them for you, be happy for his success, and embrace the idea that soon you'll go on those trips too!, I love that sends pictures and doesn't forget about me, we talk maybe twice as much when he is out, but I concentrate on ME, finishing my studies, doing the things I NEED to do. because I know "this too shall pass". Listen as a women is easy to lose focus cause we are more emotionally attached, and I've made that mistakes so many times before, but now, I said NO to myself, I am and will always be my OWN person, I said this to him recently actually, I said: " I really want a life with you, and move in together and all those important steps, BUT, you know hun? ...not until I find my OWN person" meaning, I want my career, I want to be able to depend on myself, to have a life OTHER than him, and trust me I LOVE this man Like I've never loved anyone before. this doesn't mean Im not dying to move in with him, it just means I VALUE myself, I don't want to become just "someone's wife" or become a needy clingy gf. NO. work hard, BE YOU, have your own life, do things that later you can share with him. don't make him your main priority... besides when we don't have things to do, we start thinking more or overthinking stuff, and that never ends good, keep busy. STOP sitting around waiting for him! and study!

you're are definitely not alone.. I've been there so many times. talk to me, trust me girl I know the feeling..

btw.. he has booked a flight to Europe... sight :?.. he wanted me to go, but there just wasn't enough for both of us surprisingly I'm ok. love is unselfish, I'm excited for him! I love him, and I'm happy he is doing what loves! besides I'll go on all the trips with him soon, I made sure of that (the whole point of studying lol) and like I said. "this too shall pass lol"

[Irina_Linn]

Yea this site is the best thing to happen to LDR couples
Blog here.Express yourself and your thoughts.And you will see how many people get you and support you.Stay strong!