We never fight

[memyj97]

Hey again!
So, I'm a little concerned about things between me and my SO. We have never had a real fight where its like we are legitimately angry and don't speak and cry and what not. We get along almost perfectly. According to some people, that's bad. When we do come across something that sparks indifference between us, we usually handle it really well. We never yell, we never insult, we just find common ground and find ourselves laughing about it a few minutes later. I'm also terrified of the day that we do have a fight, if that day ever comes.
So, my point is that we are having a hard time right now trying to plan his visit. Its kind of hard financially and if the dates we have set don't work out we will have to wait another three months before we can plan another visit. So he's really stressed and I feel like he feels a lot of pressure being put on him when I'm trying my hardest not to put any pressure on him. Its hard for me to help him emotionally because I've never really dealt with him like this before and its tough to help him financially because we have a currency difference.
Anyways, my question is: if you were in my situation, how would you handle things? I want others opinions because I don't want to do anything wrong and make things worse.

Sorry if I went too into detail, your opinion really matters to me!
Thanks you guys!

[Unconditional]

That's just it though. Our opinions shouldn't matter as much as they do. Don't worry about what others think is right for your relationship because for one, they're not in it and for two, every relationship is different. Some bicker and some fight and some don't as often as others. I think if you are both stressed just have a casual and calm conversation about it- see if he actually is stressed cause you can only guess.

[differentcountries]

While fighting is not a neccessity in a relationship, usually there are some points when things are hard. Sometimes those things are when you disagree wildly on a matter, sometimes it is more a matter of being upset or stressed and just not really seeing where the other person comes from. I find that last thing the hardest. It is hard to talk when things don't make sense to you. But crying isn't all bad. We hardly ever fight, but when we do, I find that it resolves things that might otherwise get hidden in just being nice.

What is the reason that he will have to wait 3 months if the dates you have set "don't work out" (whatever that means. that there are no tickets?)

We have a currency difference too, which we have usually overcome by Western Union moneytransfer (or you can ask your bank how to transfer to international accounts).

[memyj97]

The reason why he wouldn't be able to visit for a few months is because he's trying to move out of his current home to a new city before coming to visit me. And if he can't move before then he will have to fly out of his current city. That ticket would be about a thousand dollars. If he is able to move to this new city the ticket would only be about five hundred dollars. So thats a reason why he is so stressed out. And the banking thing I'll have to look into, we haven't actually had a situation where we needed to borrow money from each other. We just are trying to be prepared if it does come to that.

I hope this makes sense, I really appreciate your help!

[differentcountries]

I am not sure why he would need to move to a new city to see you. Surely the tickets may be cheaper, but if you add up the stress and cost of moving, it makes more sense to just visit you and then move if he needs to move.

[memyj97]

Its complicated, I would have to get way into detail for you to understand. Thanks for listening though!

[Mims27]

Has someone who lives in Canada and has flown down to the States multiple times, I will say that I get what the OP is trying to say about her SO flying out of Canada from his city. If he lives in a small city/town (in NB) without an international airport it means he would have to have one or multiple connections. Am I right? Flying from here is already ridiculously expensive and you have to have multiple stops it gets complicated. But I will say this, there are ways around it... I've driven to the US just to fly out of there to go so my SO before. I have saved tons of money that way.

I could be way off on the reason, but just thought I would chime in. hehe

[memyj97]

Nope, pretty much spot on Thank you!

[Sammie❤️Drew]

My loved one is from NB 😊

[differentcountries]

If your SO has issues getting connecting flights, there is the possability of doing a layover in the biggest nearby city. I do that sometimes when I visit SO and have to do the "roundtour" around Europe to get home (usually in December), have already had two connecting flights and because we have reached midnight there is no more connections back to my city that day. It is not neccesarily that expensive. I use a hotel search engine to find an airport hotel that have available rooms, choose the cheapest one on that day, have the included hotel breakfast and fly back the next morning.

[Ella85]

I can't help with flights but I understand the argument thing. My boyfriend and I it always seems like a joke when we 'argue' I honestly wouldn't even call them arguments. If he has ever upset me he just apologized and I accepted that and if I ever upset him he hasn't told me. I don't really worry about it, we just have a different way of handling our problems and I think that it works for us. Just because other people like to yell and shout at each other and that works for them, it's not for us. Maybe that'll change in time or when we move in together. But I doubt it, neither of us like yelling like that.

[Miasmata]

Arguments can be handled in many ways. Just because you're not the yelling type doesn't mean you will never have discussions that get uncivil. Make sure to be observant and when you notice something went wrong or is not being discussed properly, adress it. There are a lot more ways to clash than just with yelling.