So, you think you're in love and that's all that matters

[snow_girl]

Do you think that your love for one another is a fairy tale?
Is your love undying and more than enough to make your relationship last?
Is your SO kind of a jerk sometimes but its okay because his love for you totally outweighs his bad habits?

If so, Read this

Actually you all should read it

[whatruckus]

I've read this before and I really think it's a great read.

[Mr Gravy]

My SO and I just read the post together and we agreed with most of it. Love shouldn't be an excuse to put up with abusive behaviors. On the contrary, I believe both partners should feel inspired to improve and become even greater individuals. At least that's what I felt when I met Squee.
Personally however, I wouldn't consider respect, humility and commitment to be the "hard stuff". I feel like for highly compatible partners these things can come just as naturally as the supposedly "easy stuff" (which exactly would that be though?)

[Ella85]

I wish I knew this stuff 10 years ago. When I got with my ex I thought that 'Love is enough' but really it isn't. He was extremely emotionally manipulative, a sociopath actually. He financially abused me and took advantage of me the whole marriage and told me it was my duty to deal with it because otherwise I was a bad wife. But actually I tried so hard that eventually I realized something. I put up with so much, I tried so hard, but actually I deserved better than the way I was being treated! So I left him and decided to take back control of my finances. He left me in a lot of debt and he left me with many emotional scars. But I can't blame him entirely for that because I let him do it.

The point of my post is for anyone going though something similar, I know they will be afraid as I was too. I had a kid with this guy and I thought I should stay even if it was only for her. But then he started telling her really horrible things about me and making her cry and has emotionally scared her too. You are worth better than that, don't allow someone to treat you like that ever.

My boyfriend would never treat me that way, we are in a partnership together. We support each other and are there for each other as much as the distance allows. That's how it is meant to be. We don't fight, we haven't even argued yet. The most we have done is talk about things we have differences with, never with a raised voice or in anger! Just as two good friends and I really believe that, this is the way it should be.

Love isn't enough because sometimes someone just makes you so unhappy. Life is too short to be miserable.

[hmrambling]

Remember this: The only way you can fully enjoy the love in your life is to choose to make something else more important in your life than love.

This!

Awesome read.

[Kapwned]

I do like the best friend rule. Before I read that I had said quite a few times that my SO needs to be able to be my best friend.

[TheSteelAngel]

Very interesting read.

[R&R]

What an excellent article! Something that should be read starting in the teen years and at least once or twice a year after that just as a reminder to ourselves.

[Petals]

Excellent read!

I learned those hard truths in my first marriage. Shortly after we were married I realised omg! LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH!

He hadn't really changed...I saw those flaws before we got married but ignored them because I thought marriage would make him more responsible and our love was strong enough to conquer all!

[differentcountries]

I never throught love would solve all, but I used to think I could fix my ex - you see I had a bit of Superwoman complex. I thought I could GIVE her a good self esteem, good personal boundries and ditto with several of her other issues, after all could I not just share my personality? Nope, turns out it doesn't naturally happen like that. Perhaps I could have dealt for a while longer too, had she not fallen out of love with me. That was her strong suit, she could love like no other and seemed to need me, I was honestly shocked it was even possible for her to love me three years and then just stop. Without the love there was the end of both the sex and for a while too the friendship. We are friends now, and I like her better as a friend, but it was ugly for a while.

But there is a danger the other way around too, with people thinking they are so very good friends with their partner because everything they say and do is polite and nice and sweet. It is possible to be so nice you rarely share anything of emotional importance, and that is just as damaging to real intimacy as drama and fights can be. There are challenges in a relationship you don't usually have in a friendship where you simply don't share finance, pets, kids, sexual selves and the most tender of your heart. There doesn't have to be actual fights, but usually in a relationship that grows there are stages that are somewhat emotionally turbulent. This "puberty" of the relationship is coming to terms with differences and breaking down emotional walls that may or may not be functional in friendships but is very damaging in relationships (I have made my SO stop lying to me and also stop lying to his friends. He was so into making people like him that he had a hard time telling people how he felt).

[Unicorn26]

I wish I knew this stuff 10 years ago. When I got with my ex I thought that 'Love is enough' but really it isn't. He was extremely emotionally manipulative, a sociopath actually. He financially abused me and took advantage of me the whole marriage and told me it was my duty to deal with it because otherwise I was a bad wife. But actually I tried so hard that eventually I realized something. I put up with so much, I tried so hard, but actually I deserved better than the way I was being treated! So I left him and decided to take back control of my finances. He left me in a lot of debt and he left me with many emotional scars. But I can't blame him entirely for that because I let him do it.

Ella85 I think we were married to the same dude hahaha!!!!

[Ella85]

I wish I knew this stuff 10 years ago. When I got with my ex I thought that 'Love is enough' but really it isn't. He was extremely emotionally manipulative, a sociopath actually. He financially abused me and took advantage of me the whole marriage and told me it was my duty to deal with it because otherwise I was a bad wife. But actually I tried so hard that eventually I realized something. I put up with so much, I tried so hard, but actually I deserved better than the way I was being treated! So I left him and decided to take back control of my finances. He left me in a lot of debt and he left me with many emotional scars. But I can't blame him entirely for that because I let him do it.

Ella85 I think we were married to the same dude hahaha!!!!

I hope not, that would be scary lol!