She feels like giving up..am I too late?

[JohnGoober]

I guess I've made a lot of threads here but I think this will be the final one. I realized all of this now and I believe its already too late.

I took her for granted to protect myself from getting hurt and because of my insecurities. I never knew she really did like me and cared for me. I had promised her I would meet her in March but I couldn't meet her because I had some trouble in my home and I had to get it sorted out. I postponed it to April and again, I postponed it to May...I couldn't meet her in May as well because I was busy looking for jobs. I feel like I betrayed her trust and gave her false hopes and let her down. One of the major reason for me postponing is because I did not feel ready and I had lot of problems in my life. I never told her about my anxiety issues.She told me I didn't care enough about the relationship and I was being inconsistent.

I've been making a lot of positive changes in my life now and I can finally meet her in 2 months. She told me she is losing patience and doesn't feel like she's in relationship anymore and she's not that interested in talking to me anymore. I realized my mistakes but is it too late to sort it out? She broke up with me once and we got back, we stopped talking for a while to give each other space but nothing seems to be working. We're drifting apart day by day. She feels like giving up and I'm trying to reassure her but I feel like I can't force her feelings to change. She was very excited to meet me and had planned a lot of things for me. She doesn't feel the same way anymore. How can I win her trust? I'm lost.

[Mr Gravy]

I can not stress the importance of communication enough. No relationship will work without proper communication, especially at long distance.

It's perfectly understandable that she's upset and losing patience after you've postponed the meeting three times already. Obviously, she is very disappointed and frankly, I would be as well in her position.
Try to have an open conversation with her. Tell her what's bothering you, about your problems and your anxiety issues. There's no need to hide your weaknesses and woes from her. It will just make you appear cold and detached now before she founds out later anyway.

It's true, you can not force her to love you or even give you yet another chance. But if you want to earn her trust you'll have to talk to her and be honest even if it makes you vulnerable. If she's worth it she won't hurt you for it.

[whatruckus]

I can not stress the importance of communication enough. No relationship will work without proper communication, especially at long distance.

It's perfectly understandable that she's upset and losing patience after you've postponed the meeting three times already. Obviously, she is very disappointed and frankly, I would be as well in her position.
Try to have an open conversation with her. Tell her what's bothering you, about your problems and your anxiety issues. There's no need to hide your weaknesses and woes from her. It will just make you appear cold and detached now before she founds out later anyway.

It's true, you can not force her to love you or even give you yet another chance. But if you want to earn her trust you'll have to talk to her and be honest even if it makes you vulnerable. If she's worth it she won't hurt you for it.

I completely and wholeheartedly agree.

If you want her to trust you, or want her to understand you, the only way she can is if you open up to her. Believe me, if she really loves you and wants to be with you, she will not think you are weak or think any less of you. In fact, it'll be quite the opposite. It took my SO over 2 years to finally open up to me and let me in, I didn't think any less of him at all. I thought he was strong and brave to open up to me, something he doesn't do with anyone, not even his siblings or other family members. It made feel great that he finally trusted me enough to tell me about his life, and tell me everything. I was very unsure about our relationship for a very long time because he never told me anything really, other than "I love you". There was never mentions about our future together on his part, at least not seriously. The only thing he would say consistently was that he definitely thought of us living together. And, that was as far as it got. Now, since he opened up to me, he finally told me he definitely wants us to live together, and he does want to marry me and have a family with me some day.

Tell her why you kept postponing the trips. The real reasons.

Everyone has some sort of anxiety problems, if they tell you otherwise, they're most likely lying. It's nothing to ever be ashamed of. I was ashamed for a very long time about mine, until I started meeting (and realizing) other people that had them as well.