My girlfriend is in China

[samespinoza]

My girlfriend went on a trip for studying Chinese in Beijing, I miss her a lot and I would want to go to Beijing and give her a surprise but I don't have the money to do that (The passage cost around 2000-3000 USD and in Venezuela the minimun salary is about 17$ monthly...) So I started a fundraise in Kapipals, I don't know if saying this is breaking the rules, is it is, notify me, I'm not doing advertising or selling you anything but if you want, you can donate a small amount of money and help me, of if you don't want to help me with money, help me spreading the link to fundraise the money so I can go to Beijing and see my girlfriend, I can't stand too much time without her... I love her.

You can also help me by giving me advice of how to not be jealous of all the guys there when she goes out with her friends!
If I put the link I will get banned so... If you really want to help just pm me and I will give it to you!

[whatruckus]

We can give you advice on how to save money, but no one here will give you any. If we had spare money to give, we would be using it for our SO's and our own visits.

As for your trust issues, if she's given you no reason to not trust her, then don't question her.

[Moon]

What is up with all the people signing up here just to beg?? Do not ask us for money, we are all trying to save for our own trips!

[samespinoza]

We can give you advice on how to save money, but no one here will give you any. If we had spare money to give, we would be using it for our SO's and our own visits.

As for your trust issues, if she's given you no reason to not trust her, then don't question her.

Actually I said I'm not asking for money, I know if you have money you would use it for your own visits... For me it's impossible to save money (I would need 177 months of work to reach the 3000$ for the passage) But I was asking for help to spread the link, I don't know where to post it so people see it.

BTW, I trust her but i'ts really hard not being jealous whe she's the one telling me that a lot of guys are looking for her.

[Mims27]

Post it on your Facebook or any social media you use?

[samespinoza]

Post it on your Facebook or any social media you use?

I'm doing that! i'm justing posting it on the facebook wall of several pages!

[whatruckus]

Actually I said I'm not asking for money, I know if you have money you would use it for your own visits... For me it's impossible to save money (I would need 177 months of work to reach the 3000$ for the passage) But I was asking for help to spread the link, I don't know where to post it so people see it.

BTW, I trust her but i'ts really hard not being jealous whe she's the one telling me that a lot of guys are looking for her.

You said you set up a fundraiser and asked people to donate, if possible. That is asking for money. Also, no one would spread your link here, as we don't do that sort of thing in this community. It's not breaking the rules to ask, but it is very frowned upon in our community. Other forums might be okay with it, and might offer help with money, but we do not.

As for your GF, I can't tell if she's telling you this to make you jealous, or trying to be very honest. Maybe you should tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she tells you this stuff. Maybe have a talk about boundaries? Just in case? How does she tell you? Does she just mention it? Or, is she like, "All these guys keep hitting on me and chasing me."

[Moon]

but if you want, you can donate a small amount of money and help me,

If you really want to help just pm me and I will give it to you!

That sounds like asking for money to me.

[samespinoza]

You said you set up a fundraiser and asked people to donate, if possible. That is asking for money. Also, no one would spread your link here, as we don't do that sort of thing in this community. It's not breaking the rules to ask, but it is very frowned upon in our community. Other forums might be okay with it, and might offer help with money, but we do not.

As for your GF, I can't tell if she's telling you this to make you jealous, or trying to be very honest. Maybe you should tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she tells you this stuff. Maybe have a talk about boundaries? Just in case? How does she tell you? Does she just mention it? Or, is she like, "All these guys keep hitting on me and chasing me."

Well I'm sorry... I didn't know that my post would make anyone uncomfy.

As for my girlfriend she tells me because she wants to be honest, I like her being honest and I don't care about that because that makes me feel that I should trust her but it's hard for me to know that there are a lot of guys that wants to date her and I just have to be here like "Don't worry babe I trust you".

[samespinoza]

That sounds like asking for money to me.

Okay I asked for money but let's forget that I said sorry for that I didn't know it would be a bad Idea I'm a little bit desperate

[Mims27]

We understand that you are desperate, but you have to understand that we are too. I've been LDR for over 5 years and married almost two months, we are still apart. And not once have I asked anyone here for money or even to share a link. And I "know" these people now, they are my friends.

[Moon]

You need to start thinking outside the box, and not expect others to fund your visit. Don't you have any talents, or any services you can provide for a small fee? Can you make and sell on sites like Etsy? What about Fiverr, where you can provide small services of practically any kind for $5? You need to seek out alternate funding. You can even sell your old stuff on Ebay. Necessity is the mother of invention, so they say, so start inventing funding for yourself.

[whatruckus]

Well I'm sorry... I didn't know that my post would make anyone uncomfy.

As for my girlfriend she tells me because she wants to be honest, I like her being honest and I don't care about that because that makes me feel that I should trust her but it's hard for me to know that there are a lot of guys that wants to date her and I just have to be here like "Don't worry babe I trust you".

I get that. It's okay to be jealous, as long as you don't project that onto your SO.

[Unconditional]

Look, i get it- we all get it. Putting up with an LDR and all of the trials and tribulations financially and otherwise are HARD but that being said..
You have got to be out of your mind desperate to come into our community- a community who knows all to well about how hard it is to save money and how tough it is to make sure we see our SO- and ask us for monetary donations which by the way is asking us for money. Does it make me uncomfortable? No. Does it rub me the wrong way? Yes. I am doing everything i can to make sure I can save up to see my own SO and I would never dream of asking for money not even from my family and friends much less these lovely people on here so you'll have to excuse me if I don't take to lightly to your asking.

As for the trust issue, it is a trust issue. Jealousy to me stems from having a trust issue if there is no issue there is no jealousy unless it is an insecurity in the back of your mind then you are over thinking and nothing good comes from overthinking.

[dglynn77]

Actually I said I'm not asking for money, I know if you have money you would use it for your own visits... For me it's impossible to save money (I would need 177 months of work to reach the 3000$ for the passage) But I was asking for help to spread the link, I don't know where to post it so people see it.

BTW, I trust her but i'ts really hard not being jealous whe she's the one telling me that a lot of guys are looking for her.

Two things I want to address here having been in similar (but opposite) situation. (I was the one in China)
Ok, first off, of course lots if guys are looking at her! She's different! When I was in China I was just a super plain white girl and I was stared at and followed lots just because I looked different. It's like a novelty so it'll be noticed. So basically you'll have to realize it doesn't mean much except hey! They noticed she's different. If she constantly bragging about it, that's just a relationship issue you'll have to work through.

As far as money, let me tell you how my SO managed to visit me all the way in China:
He had a terrible job, but he worked it and literally only at canned beans and some protein twice a day to save money on food. Never bought himself anything, and never ate out. He also sold his jeep, and bought a terrible little car because seeing me was most important to him. If there's a will, there's a way. It generally involves tons of personal sacrifice, but it's worth it, Good luck!!!