My third long Distance Relationship. Fear is back

[techi14]

Hello,

I would like to share my experience with all of you.
I am not originally from the US , so sorry if I misspell something. I promise to try to do my best.
I have done long distance in the past and it was awful. I ended up heartbroken and always telling myself that I would not get on a long distance anymore.
However, life is sarcastic and three days ago I started my third long distance relationship.
My new LD boyfriend is Phillip. I will call him Phillip to keep this private.
Me and Phillip met through Tinder ( I know you all may be thinking that I am crazy), 9 months ago.
He has been a sweetheart almost 100% of the time that we have been together. He is caring, loving, smart … probably all the qualities I always desire my partner to have.
In February of this year I got a job interview in Dallas, Texas; unfortunately, I dint get that job.
Phillip applied for jobs in Dallas too because he was trying to follow me; he did got a job.
The new job is an unbelievable opportunity for Phillip. I am proud of him and admire about his talent.
However, since he started interviewing in Dallas, and I already realize I have not job there, I panicked.
Our relationship have had a lot of uncertainty from March to now.
We have talked about breaking up and not doing this even though if we love each other. Just because of being afraid of experiencing pain in the future. Forgot to mention that Phillip has had a bad LDR experience as well. His was probably even worse than mine.
My fear of losing him has lead me to create little fights with no reason. Yes, many times after those fights I realize I was very stupid.
My fear has made me feel no loved, no stable and even make him feel that I wasn’t encouraging his professional life. My fear is making me feel insecure even of him having friends.
I felt very sad yesterday. I was just scared. I had this thought of how amazing he is, but I couldn’t control this other thought of me suffering in the future. This took me to try to break up with him.
We both cried since I believe we both love each other. After crying and talking we decided to not put an end on our relationship.
He text me, “good morning” this morning and I felt he was sad. And I am too.
I need to stop this fear because it is making me lose the person that I love.
LDR friends, I need your help. Your advices. Have any of you has gone through this fear?
How do I escape from this feeling and just stay in the place in which I feel loved, faithful and hopeful?
Please let me know your advices.

Thank you so much in advance
Techi

[SailorRei]

If you are living somewhere in Texas, and he's not in Dallas, you can just keep trying to get a job in Dallas! Dallas is big city, isn't it? So you are bound to find something at one point. Plus being in the same state already gives you guys better chances of seeing each other. I don't know how far away were you (and him) in previous LDR, but if you keep trying, and you both are willing- this one should work!

Just keep your head up and apply, apply, apply until you get one

I don't know if there is a way to really escape the fear- as long as there are miles between you and your bf, fear is just there. I think the trick might be to believe "in power of love" and just fight through it. I do have very down days and normal days, it's just never ending roller-coaster but I hope that this will be worth it.

Stay strong!

[techi14]

Thank you much for your advice, Aleksaaw.
We are about 6.5 hours apart if driving. It is the closest long distance relationship I have had.
I tend to get very anxious to think about it and that anxiety makes me think that it wont work, that he may be cheating or several things.
I hope this stops soon. I love him and I dont wanna lose him.

I will try to stay strong