NEEDS SOMETHING! VERY PISSED OFF!

[Emma-Louise]

Hey,

Could someone please give me statistics or something on how many LDR couples work out in the end..? My parents are driving me crazy. Apparently my entire family is just waiting for my relationship to fall to pieces so I'd really appreciate some solid information I could throw back into their faces.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months and they still haven't let go of their scarcastic jokes, and comments of how we're just 'pen pals' and that I don't even know what love feels like so how could this possibly be it. They basically laugh at my relationship and say how it's never going to work.. I can't keep crying over them..

I just need.. Something. I'm going to lose my mind.. Or punch something.. D=<

[leonina]

My S.O.'s parents and my friends don't consider my relationship as something real either. But I don't care what they think anymore. It's MY relationship and MY choice, not theirs! Just ignore them if you can and look towards the goal of being together.

[squiddie]

I can't give you exact numbers, but that's because every relationship is different. All of them, close distance or far apart need work.

I suspect part of your parents' attitude is a result of your and your SO's respective ages. I'm not saying that younger people don't know what love is, but often times teenage relationships are seen as a puppy love phase that both will grow out of. It's also possible that your parents believe you're too young to be in a serious relationship.

Instead of throwing numbers in your parents' faces, I think the best course of action would be to be mature about the relationship and conduct yourself in an adult manner. Demonstrate how solid your relationship by not being terribly clingy to him and not worrying about him constantly. As annoying as your family's comments may be, attempt to shrug them off. Don't be all "hah! I'll show you!" because that comes off as petty and juvenile.

Not everyone's families approve of their relationships, regardless of whether or not they are long distance. Ask your parents to voice their concerns about what specifically in your relationship they don't like. They may see something you don't. Don't immediately dismiss everything they say; take it into consideration. They're looking out for you.

[Snowy.Winter]

I'm so sorry to hear that your family are laughing at your relationship. That's totally unfair on you and your SO. Unfortunately I don't know where I could get an statstics on things like this. I don't know what advice or words to say to your family, so my post is pretty pointless, but try your best and stay strong!

[mynameiseric]

I looked and couldn't find any stats...but I get the jokes at work a lot. Almost everyday when it comes up, but ive learned to ignore it because im in the relationship with my SO, not them. So if I know its gonna work, thats all that matters.

[Emma-Louise]

I suspect part of your parents' attitude is a result of your and your SO's respective ages. I'm not saying that younger people don't know what love is, but often times teenage relationships are seen as a puppy love phase that both will grow out of. It's also possible that your parents believe you're too young to be in a serious relationship.

See I would understand this approach.. Except.. My parents have been together since they were 14.. So they really can't comment..

I've been trying to be mature about this for the past 9 months.. It's just tiring me out and my SO is just being pointed out as the bad guy in everything, even though he's always been sweet and nice to them, and has made the effort in this relationship with me.. It's stressful.. I guess I'm just ranting..

[Caitlin2009]

Just tell them most LDR's work, and they end up getting married and staying married for the rest of there lives. Your not gonna convince them fully until they meet your SO, thats what happened with my parents when they kept doing that now they like Denise and even apologized for what they said

[Moon]

Found some interesting stats...looks like in the first 6 months LDR's have a higher percentage of breakups than CDR's, but it changes after that to LDR's lasting longer. Here's the link....https://www.waiit.com/Long_Distance_...ips_Statistics

[paulawriteslove]

Take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's stressful with people putting your relationship down, but that should give you the strength to prove them wrong!

[leonina]

I'm not sure if we're allowed to post links to other websites but this one has something about the breakup statistics of LDRs. https://www.waiit.com/Long_Distance_...ips_Statistics

Don't know how accurate that is though. Sorry Michelle and Frank if this isn't allowed!

[leonina]

Woops Moon got to it before me!

[vixx360]

Just try to shrug it off, easier said than done I know. It's not all about age either, i'm 33 my SO is coming up for 40, we have been together for 14 months now and my family still don't really get it. Both my parents still open conversations with "so are you still speaking to Dave", of course I'm still speaking to him HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. He's met the family, I'm going over for christmas and will meet his this year, my sisters responce to that was 'oh will it be official when you've met his family?', it's been official for the last year. When I started refering to him as my boyfriend my mom insisted that he wasn't really coz we hadn't met. She still thinks of me and refers to me as single.

Sometimes people just don't get it, I don't think any of family think that this is actually a real relationship or that it will turn into one, it's just outside their realm of understanding they can't connect with the idea, it just doesn't fit their idea of how a relationship can happen or work.

But you know what, it works for me, is better than any relationship I've had before and eventually they will get it, possily not until I actually move halfway round the world to be with him but one day they will understand that this is as real as any other realtionship.

[Silviar]

I'm going to be very blunt here: it's not going to matter if you have statistics or even Dr. Phil to talk to your family and tell them LDR's work, your family isn't really interested in statistics. What they're doing is rude and disrespectful, and from the way you've talked about them in the past, I think this has to do with family relations and how poorly they treat you.

That said, if you insist, I can share this article.
Inside is this quote on statistics: When we followed premarital couples in LDRs and compared them to another group of couples in geographically close relationships, we found that around 40% of both groups eventually went their separate ways. Many relationships end, but we tend to remember those LDRs that did not work, more so than the geographically closer relationships that failed.

Here's another article where a doctor who studies these things speaks up to how much LDR's fail versus regular relationships, but no statistics.

In the end, though, giving them a statistic will most likely still be scoffed at, probably "This doesn't prove anything about YOU." Sometimes we have to stand up to our families, and sometimes we have to, sometimes bluntly, tell them to shut up and mind their own business. This is one of those cases. I would tell them you no longer want to hear any of their comments, period. It's up to you and life's course to see whether you stay together or break up.

[Emma-Louise]

Thanks for all the suggestions.. I'd like to apoligise for my thread because I was angry at my family and needed some sort of help getting over it.. Thanks guys.. xoxoxo

[Čternity]

People, especially parents, fear the unknown and things they don't understand. To deal with it they usually either attack it or make fun of it. Either you need to get them to see your SO as a real person who cares for you with visits/cards/letters, ignore them and focus on the two of you, or tell them how it feels when they make fun of something that's important to you whatever it is.