second thoughts....

[Muth]

My bf asked me to marry him....
We have been having trouble closing distance and i was depressed the last few months about that. Suddenly day before he proposed to me, told me he wanted to be with me forever and that we'll find a way out of this mess. I told him yes, but now i'm having second thoughts. I am crazy about him but i think he proposed just to make me happy and that he didn't think it thru. I want to ask him to take some time and think if he really wants this, but i don't know how to do that without hurting him. What should i do???

[SailorRei]

Are you sure you want to marry him? If he's a grown up then he knows that such a big decision requires some thinking, not just "only to make her happy". But he popped the question and here you are wondering if that's a good thing to do.

I don't know how to talk to him, but if you are having second thoughts, you definitely should talk to him.

[Elizabeth123]

First -Congratulations!
aleksaaw

I don't know how to talk to him, but if you are having second thoughts, you definitely should talk to him.

This .....so very important

[Muth]

I should talk to him...i just don't know how to

[snow_girl]

I should talk to him...i just don't know how to

Step one: Think of what you want to say
Step two: Say it/type it

[sweetshay]

Well start with where your concerns are. If your concern is closing the distance tell him that it's been keeping you down and that you need to be more reassured that it will happen. Maybe even ask him to help you get a timeline down about what's needs to be done before you can close the distance. I also think you need to ask yourself some questions like is it really just the distance that's making you have second thoughts or is there something else? Whatever other issues you have, just bring them up. Hopefully he will just listen, be open-minded, and be understanding. There's not always a great way to talk about difficult topics, some times you have to just get it out. If you still feel uneasy just tell him that it's difficult for you to talk about and you're not sure how to word it but you're willing to try, maybe he'll understand.

[differentcountries]

Is he proposing so that his parents will be ok with you/him moving to marry, instead of simply living together?

[Muth]

Is he proposing so that his parents will be ok with you/him moving to marry, instead of simply living together?

I kind of think it is that. Living together not really acceptable to our parents. I am going to talk to him tonight abput this. I am going to to tell him that i want us to close distance first and see how it works before thinking about marriage. Hopefully he will understand. I really don't want to mess this up by moving too fast.

[Miasmata]

Best of luck! I understand it's a tough situation, but in the end, it's about you both and not the families. Be honest and work it out