so.fed.up.

[nicole]

So it has been a month to the day that me and my So went from CD to LD, and I thought I was coping quite well, only one major meltdown on my end a couple of weeks in, but I had been stopping myself from crying/ being sad, so I think I needed a good howling session in order to get on with everything in my life.

But today, I've gone all gloomy again. I have to go on a field trip on Sunday, which we've both known about for months, seeing as I picked my University modules in june, so we won't be able to talk all week because I'll have no internet access at all. We normally hang out on a Friday night but now he is going to a diaper party for some guy at work he HATES with a passion, don't ask me why, and he has a rugby game saturday so we can't hang out/talk then either. So the prospect of not hearing from him for all that time has really got me down.

On top of this, he was supposed to be going to and from the virgin islands for 6 months for a work project, so that would have been finished february, but the job has now been pushed back, so now there is a chance I won't be able to go see him in april/may, because there is a huge chance he won't be in the country I'd had my heart set on that visit, because if I don't go, we won't be physically together for another 6 months at least otherwise We'd still make it work, but I was counting on that interval of CD to get me emotionally ready for my final exams and the whole stress of the visa process.

It's just so hard to get myself out of a slump when I don't have him to give me a hug or even just old my hand. I hope it will get better when I move back to Uni and have my own space away from home, and a single bed... I hate sleeping in a double bed with out him

[paulawriteslove]

*hugs* I am so sorry. I know the stress of a LDR. You just need to relax and try to keep your mind occupied. Everything will fall into place

[annamorgan]

I agree with paulawriteslove. If you need anyone to talk to, we're all here as well.

[milaya]

I also have some of days once in a while. Today was one of them... unfortunately. I also spend a few hours crying today, because so many things seems to go wrong.
I was nervous about starting university, for many reasons... one of them was also that him and me wouldn't be able to talk for a week. (Meaning I understand your situation about the field trip), because in the first introduction week, I would leave home around 8 am and return home around 23 pm everyday. But it turned out to be the best week I've had without him, since we met. Because even though we couldn't talk and I felt stressed. I actually liked that I "had something to do" everyday. I actually didn't think much about him - only positive things.
Maybe this field trip will do the same for you.

All I can say is... yes keep your self occupied.
I hope you'll be able to cheer up soon.

[Karringtyn]

I had a very rough day myself...and I still am not asleep...we all understand...and are here to help support you through these times!

[nicole]

thank guys, I just needed to vent or something, If I try to talk to my parents, they just tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Its not that at all, they've never been away from each other for more then a week, so they don't know what its like. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, it's just hard to try and get on when part of you is always somewhere else.

I think the sleep deprivation may be a factor too, I want to sleep, but at the same time, I don't want to get used to sleeping without him. and I also hate the fact I have no control of these things, so I can't even make back-up plans at the moment =/

thanks for understanding =) , I've been trying to keep busy, but keep running out of things, at least after this trip I'll have work to get on with.