Red flag... Worried.

[Dwessie]

Eh. My SO wanted me to meet his mother pretty early on for similar reasons. I just went along with it, thinking that if he let his family dictate our relationship I would bail out. Turns out that I'm the first female he's brought home that his parents actually like, and our relationship is better for it.

Tam was so worried about what my parents would think of her, but turns out she's their obvious favorite out of everyone we ever brought home (Even my sister's fiancee, luckily they say I Love You to both our SOs now which I really like. I love our crazy little family)

[spanglishjoe]

You took an important step...you are communicating with him....well done!
This is about him and HIS perceptions...working through this will strengthen your relationship.
He used a poor choice of words but it seems like he's making an effort to be your SO

I think Elizabeth did a good job stating the positive in this conversation.

The fact that your boyfriend straight out told you about the approval issue is odd to me, but to his benefit perhaps he's trying to be completely open with you, or maybe it's just his personality (you'd know better than me). I don't have siblings, but I did ask my SO to "meet" my mom on Skype fairly early on. I said it was because I know my parents would help support us if we close the distance down the road (family support, help her adjust to the city, etc) and my family is close, so I wanted my SO to have a chance to meet her (I was there on Skype too of course). My girlfriend wanted my mom to approve of her all on her own, she didn't need me to tell her that. Nor would I say that, even if I felt as strongly about it as your boyfriend. I'm also curious about the context of the "toy" comment, but that's another issue. I'd be aware of the word choices he uses, but if everything else is going well, you believe he returns your feelings, and you're comfortable meeting his family, then it seems like something you'll be able to work through.

Good luck, I'm sure his sister will find you as pleasant as we find you on here, don't worry about approval and just be yourself.

Edit: did't realize this was an old thread. oh well.

[c_denise3]

Thank you! He is aware that he needs to work on his choice of words. He knows that sometimes the things he says comes off meaning something completely different than what he meant. Thankfully he hasn't brought up the subject of meeting his sister anymore, so I honestly don't think it was really that important to begin with. We are happy and he knows this.

Thank you again!