The more you post, the more I'm horrified that you are still together with him. No partner ever has the right to make you feel like nothing, like your emotions are wrong, etc. - He's not simply emotionally guarded, he's being abusive. You shouldn't let someone treat you this way.
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the river -
Miasmata, how did I grow to love someone that would treat me this way?Originally posted by Miasmata View PostComment
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Honestly, dump his ass. You don't need that in your life.Comment
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I am sorry it has gotten this bad. You should always be able to feel safe in your relationship. That is just a basic thing. You may want to consider withdrawing from a situation where he can't make you feel secure.Originally posted by twentynine11 View PostI made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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You might merely be attracted to a certain aspect of him causing you to experience very intense infatuation instead of actual love.
Let's be realistic: The way he treats you he either clearly doesn't love you or is not ready for a dedicated relationship.
You shouldn't have to change who you are for your SO. A good partner who is worthy of your love will appreciate and value you the way you are. They may motivate you to become a better person and grow as an individual but they'll never ask you to outright change to better fit their needs. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, especially not your SO. They should offer support and give you the comfort to freely express and just be yourself.Comment
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How do we love people who don't treat us well? Usually, we don't. We start to love people who treat us in ways we find both exiting and confirming. They make us feel great! And then things start to happen. Other sides become visable,existing side by side with those qualities we cherish.
I still struggle somewhat with having loved my sort-of-exboyfriend.I was extremely attracted to him- and he did change my attitute towards life,I became more spontanous,I started working out and eating healty more,I worked on my self. He has been influentional in my life in many ways. He was idealistic,hardworking, charming and cared about many good causes.But he was also moody, shy of conflict and irresponsible with his actions and the feelings of those close to him. It took a lot of time to be able to see that he is indeed all of these things at once,and that in the end it was not enough. In the end, I could not rest my head on my pillow saying "I am proud to know this man" or "I would be deligted for him to be the father of my children".I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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I had a response written and it disappeared sigh... Read up on attachment styles. He is an avoidant attachment style doesn't make his behavior OK at all, but realize he would act and will continue to act this way with anyone he dates it's how avoid ants deal unless they do work on themselves. I read the book "Attachment" or something like that and it was eye opening. It has allowed me to not take a lot of thing s personally.Comment
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You all are great! Thank each one of you for taking the time out to post on my situation today! It means a lot to me.
I have an 8 year old son who is attached to this man that I love and has been for the past 3 years. For this Father's Day, he spent most of it with him and calls him his "daddy" already. He told his friends that his "daddy" came in to see him for Father's Day.
My son has seen my cry so many times. He doesn't say it, but he hates seeing me cry because it hurts him. He doesn't say it, but he knows I cry over my SO. I do not want my son to grow up remembering his mother being unhappy and sad. I also fear taking my SO out of the equation since he is so attached to him. It's all a big mess and it makes me extremely sad.
Oh, look... guess who just sent me a text??....Comment
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The fact that your son is attached to that guy is definitely complicating things, but it is your happiness that should come first. It might sounds harsh and I can only imagine that you'll do everything to keep your son happy- but it is you who will have to deal with all that shit from your EX-SO. Your son won't be happier knowing that his mum is not happy.
You have been there for 8 years for your son- that guy for around 3? You are the most important to him and you need to think about yourself and make yourself happy.Comment
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He texted me and said he was on gchat. I logged on.
Me : Hello
Him : hello
Me : What time do you get off work?
Him : im leaving now. im really tired im going home to take a nap
Me : Can we talk tonight?
Him : yea if im awake
Me : Seriously?
Him : seriously what?
Me : "if I'm awake"
Him : yes if i'm awake we can talk. i don't talk in my sleep
Me : You're just going to sleep all evening?
Him : well as of now im running off of 2 hours of sleep and I have been up since 5
so yes sleeping for a while is a possibility
Me : Can I call you now?
Him : no. im on gchat, so im in the office
Me : i mean before your nap
Him : no because i want to sleep
im leaving now bye
Me : bye. we need to talk. it's pretty important. so when it's convenient for you, please let me knowComment
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I don't mean to sound pathetic, but I can't imagine being without him. I don't understand why I would want to be in something so painful though.Comment
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Why can't you imagine being without him? What sounds bad about it? Be honest, what would you lose, really?
~
It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the riverComment
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You're clearly not the priority here. Cut him loose
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The good times that we did have. I would loose him. I'm scared to be single.Originally posted by Miasmata View Post
I love having an ldr, I always thought it was better than an ordinary relationship.
I would loose this pain and gain another kind of pain.
I never thought this would be in consideration.Comment
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I think the good times have gone a while ago from your posts.Originally posted by twentynine11 View Post
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