No Eye-Catching Title This Time, Just Need Advice!

[xMesmerize124]

Okay well first of all, my bf and i are planning on meeting for the first time at the end this month and he's coming over here (California) from New York. And i already told my dad that i am seeing someone (told him his age, what he does for a living, and all that other random junk) but not quite broke it down to him about us. I don't want to drop the bomb on him the first time they meet. So i was wondering if anyone has advice on how i should go through with this. Should i tell my dad i am in a LDR and all that other lovely stuff but risk he might not like for me to meet my bf or have any contact with him anymore, or drop the bomb in late Sept and see how it goes, or just go with a whole different approach? Ultimately what i would like to gain is my dad being supportive of our relationship and letting me go to New York and seeing my bf, so my bf doesn't always have to be the one making the trips.

[LadyMarchHare]

If you're afraid of being restricted then go slowly. You've already broken the ice by saying you have a guy. I don't condone the whole 'lie and say he's a friend from school/college that moved away' thing because I feel it's important to be honest to your parents, even if they disprove. Integrate him into conversation more, talk about his good qualities, what he's done for you if he's helped you through anything major, and basically butter your dad up about the guy as much as you can without making it sound fishy or fake. Maybe give hints that he's not quite in the area, but just build up to the "and by the way, he lives in New York." Rushing it out and being blunt instantly isn't a good idea, I know it didn't work with me but I was simply eager to say "hey I have a boyfriend", but hiding it until last minute when it could ruin the trip if he's already on his way/has the ticket or ruin everything period isn't the way to go either. Take baby steps, drop hints, test the waters and see where your dad's limit is, and be gentle. You can't make your dad like the situation no matter how much sugar you roll your words in, but you can try your best so you know in the end it's your dad being close-minded and not a "shoulda coulda woulda" thing.

[paulawriteslove]

I know your dad is important to you and how he views your relationship is very important. You can start telling him slowly and see how he takes it the whole situation. He might accept your relationship and really like Tim and everything could work out perfect! Your dad might respect you more for telling him the truth and all.

[Karringtyn]

Slow. Slow. Slow. I also don't agree with lying...but I also think smoothing the path is the best way.

How exciting in just a few weeks you will be meeting!!! I am happy for you!