(Long post, now sorted into convenient, labelled paragraphs)
Thank you preamble: Hello, forum! It is a lovely...er...rainy, dark, past 1am in British Columbia. I wanted to first throw a big thank you out there for all the responses to my threads. I had every intention tonight to go through each thread that I didn't feel like I had capped off and make sure that I made the necessary closing comments. After looking at them, though, I decided that it might be dredging up too many topics that might have gone by the wayside (or which may still be unresolved), in favour of aiding more recent posters (though, I did respond to one of the threads). Be assured that I do read each and everyone one of your comments and sometimes several times--I like to come back for multiple takes and digest thoughts, until they are distilled into what is most helpful. If you have any questions about some of the situations, I would be glad to tell you what ended up happening (I know, sometimes, that I will write a comment to someone and then be very curious about what ended up happening in their situation, only to never find out! Alas!).
Aha! Now, there is one thing that I think that some of you may be curious about, which is the ultimate intent of this thread. *Drum roll, fanfare, and prancing unicorns with cake for all*
What the Surprise is: It is true! My partner plans to surprise visit me for my birthday! I pestered my Mom incessantly for tidbits, but she could only hint at things in a theoretical sense. My sister, however, was not sworn to the same secrecy, so I pried most of what I need to know out of her. He will come a day before my birthday and stay for 5 days! Wow! He must have been planning this for awhile, if he is able to miss school and work (though, sometimes he just gets bees in his bonnet about surprises, anyway, and it could be possible that it was fairly spur of the moment). I am very excited, but I have almost slipped up a few times, letting him know that I know. Mom thinks I should just tell him I know so that we can make plans, but maybe he doesn't have everything anchored down yet for sure (so, it could be disappointing if we start cementing things that we won't end up doing) and he also has my sister (who is great with planning stuff) to help in the conspiracy. I suppose it sounds silly that I won't tell him that I know, but I like the energy of the surprise in our relationship and I think that it is making him really happy lately (every time we are on webcam lately, he is just gushing with smiles for me and just claims it is from drinking coffee...yeah right, DodgyMcDodgerson!).
Ze Problems: Now, it isn't all sunshine and moonbeams on my end. My sister has graciously offered that we can stay at her place for 3ish days and two nights. She understands that there is more to do in the city she is in, that he and I want to share a bed, and that we er...need some privacy for certain things. This has rescued things a bit, but when we take the ferry over to my parents' place (where I am currently living), things could be a lot more awkward. On the positive, I really want him to see my town and to give him a tour (there are things to do, even if it is very small, but many are outdoors things, so I hope the fashionista brings runners and that the weather is decent). First, I think you all know that my Mom is rather unsupportive of my LDR, so she feels very uncomfortable with this visit, as it is. My parents would be pretty uncomfortable with he and I sharing a bed or...getting up to anything and I, in turn, would be uncomfortable with them being uncomfortable or chancing to interupt us (but, come on! I am an adult and I haven't seen him for awhile...). Then, much of my stuff from moving back is in boxes or very disorganized and cluttering up the house (yes, I can be pretty messy sometimes and lazy with organizing chores like this, so this is my own fault and I will try my best to get things tidied before he comes, but it is going to be a huge job, since there really is no storage space left), we also have animals taking up lots of room (so, there is generally always an "untidiness" in those areas to minimalist types, but we like to give our animals lots of room and fresh food, etc.), and dated or broken things that we can't afford to repair right now (e.g. the dryer is broken so we hang things to dry and the main shower door doesn't close properly and leaks, so a towel has to be put down) and make do with alternative, but annoying ways to get around (where, he and his family are used to being more affluent and not having these problems or even imagining them). My parents aren't getting along so well and are often around the house, because of what they are doing for work, so it will be difficult to have talks or even kiss, etc. around the house. I have also gained some weight since I came back from my visit to see him (I have had some health problems which have made it difficult for me to exercise and I am also feeling rather depressed and, so, am sitting around a lot and really, really over-eating. I know that I am being unhealthy, but it isn't like I can be back to slim jim ballet dancer in less than two weeks). Around my little town, most of the events are on the weekend (but the best time to stay at my sister's is the weekend) and I need to be around here during the week in case I get called out for that occasional job I have (finally! ...but I still need something that will actually pay the bills), plus my sister won't let us stay beyond the time she feels comfortable with. Altogether, I can't stay at my sister's for too long and, in the city, things cost way more and I am already flat broke (he likes to go out to fancy restaurants, etc. and even if we eat modestly, things are a lot and even just parking to go to parks there and such is outlandish...can I expect him to pay for things again, if he is visiting here?), but I am feeling really embarrassed about my home situation and how we could be feeling pretty uncomfortable, rather than enjoying ourselves. I really still want him to come (these things all may seem insurmountable and I do feel like that a bit, but I know that I have felt a lot happier and more secure in our relationship having gumption, knowing about the visit), but it seems almost like him getting a hotel when we come back over to my town would help things (yet, that would require telling him and bursting the elation of the surprise for both of us and necessitate me going into why I would be uncomfortable with him staying here, when he has already asked and received permission for from my Mom, and that would further embarrass both me and my family. Plus, he may be able to afford the flight with points and the rental of the car, etc., but there are no guarantees that it would be fair for him to also pay for a hotel.) It's probably too much to hope that my parents would amscray somewhere for the days he is here, so he and I can at least have some privacy (dilapidated shower or not). How you can help: Any suggestions or soothing words?
Thank you preamble: Hello, forum! It is a lovely...er...rainy, dark, past 1am in British Columbia. I wanted to first throw a big thank you out there for all the responses to my threads. I had every intention tonight to go through each thread that I didn't feel like I had capped off and make sure that I made the necessary closing comments. After looking at them, though, I decided that it might be dredging up too many topics that might have gone by the wayside (or which may still be unresolved), in favour of aiding more recent posters (though, I did respond to one of the threads). Be assured that I do read each and everyone one of your comments and sometimes several times--I like to come back for multiple takes and digest thoughts, until they are distilled into what is most helpful. If you have any questions about some of the situations, I would be glad to tell you what ended up happening (I know, sometimes, that I will write a comment to someone and then be very curious about what ended up happening in their situation, only to never find out! Alas!).
Aha! Now, there is one thing that I think that some of you may be curious about, which is the ultimate intent of this thread. *Drum roll, fanfare, and prancing unicorns with cake for all*
What the Surprise is: It is true! My partner plans to surprise visit me for my birthday! I pestered my Mom incessantly for tidbits, but she could only hint at things in a theoretical sense. My sister, however, was not sworn to the same secrecy, so I pried most of what I need to know out of her. He will come a day before my birthday and stay for 5 days! Wow! He must have been planning this for awhile, if he is able to miss school and work (though, sometimes he just gets bees in his bonnet about surprises, anyway, and it could be possible that it was fairly spur of the moment). I am very excited, but I have almost slipped up a few times, letting him know that I know. Mom thinks I should just tell him I know so that we can make plans, but maybe he doesn't have everything anchored down yet for sure (so, it could be disappointing if we start cementing things that we won't end up doing) and he also has my sister (who is great with planning stuff) to help in the conspiracy. I suppose it sounds silly that I won't tell him that I know, but I like the energy of the surprise in our relationship and I think that it is making him really happy lately (every time we are on webcam lately, he is just gushing with smiles for me and just claims it is from drinking coffee...yeah right, DodgyMcDodgerson!).
Ze Problems: Now, it isn't all sunshine and moonbeams on my end. My sister has graciously offered that we can stay at her place for 3ish days and two nights. She understands that there is more to do in the city she is in, that he and I want to share a bed, and that we er...need some privacy for certain things. This has rescued things a bit, but when we take the ferry over to my parents' place (where I am currently living), things could be a lot more awkward. On the positive, I really want him to see my town and to give him a tour (there are things to do, even if it is very small, but many are outdoors things, so I hope the fashionista brings runners and that the weather is decent). First, I think you all know that my Mom is rather unsupportive of my LDR, so she feels very uncomfortable with this visit, as it is. My parents would be pretty uncomfortable with he and I sharing a bed or...getting up to anything and I, in turn, would be uncomfortable with them being uncomfortable or chancing to interupt us (but, come on! I am an adult and I haven't seen him for awhile...). Then, much of my stuff from moving back is in boxes or very disorganized and cluttering up the house (yes, I can be pretty messy sometimes and lazy with organizing chores like this, so this is my own fault and I will try my best to get things tidied before he comes, but it is going to be a huge job, since there really is no storage space left), we also have animals taking up lots of room (so, there is generally always an "untidiness" in those areas to minimalist types, but we like to give our animals lots of room and fresh food, etc.), and dated or broken things that we can't afford to repair right now (e.g. the dryer is broken so we hang things to dry and the main shower door doesn't close properly and leaks, so a towel has to be put down) and make do with alternative, but annoying ways to get around (where, he and his family are used to being more affluent and not having these problems or even imagining them). My parents aren't getting along so well and are often around the house, because of what they are doing for work, so it will be difficult to have talks or even kiss, etc. around the house. I have also gained some weight since I came back from my visit to see him (I have had some health problems which have made it difficult for me to exercise and I am also feeling rather depressed and, so, am sitting around a lot and really, really over-eating. I know that I am being unhealthy, but it isn't like I can be back to slim jim ballet dancer in less than two weeks). Around my little town, most of the events are on the weekend (but the best time to stay at my sister's is the weekend) and I need to be around here during the week in case I get called out for that occasional job I have (finally! ...but I still need something that will actually pay the bills), plus my sister won't let us stay beyond the time she feels comfortable with. Altogether, I can't stay at my sister's for too long and, in the city, things cost way more and I am already flat broke (he likes to go out to fancy restaurants, etc. and even if we eat modestly, things are a lot and even just parking to go to parks there and such is outlandish...can I expect him to pay for things again, if he is visiting here?), but I am feeling really embarrassed about my home situation and how we could be feeling pretty uncomfortable, rather than enjoying ourselves. I really still want him to come (these things all may seem insurmountable and I do feel like that a bit, but I know that I have felt a lot happier and more secure in our relationship having gumption, knowing about the visit), but it seems almost like him getting a hotel when we come back over to my town would help things (yet, that would require telling him and bursting the elation of the surprise for both of us and necessitate me going into why I would be uncomfortable with him staying here, when he has already asked and received permission for from my Mom, and that would further embarrass both me and my family. Plus, he may be able to afford the flight with points and the rental of the car, etc., but there are no guarantees that it would be fair for him to also pay for a hotel.) It's probably too much to hope that my parents would amscray somewhere for the days he is here, so he and I can at least have some privacy (dilapidated shower or not). How you can help: Any suggestions or soothing words?
It's natural to be nervous when he's coming, to me it feels like I'm getting ready for my first date all over again, but it's a great feeling at the same time 
The Day we went long distance: 08.08.2010
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