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Tough times my SO is going through...

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    Tough times my SO is going through...

    Hi guys
    So my SO is turning 21 this year and I'm a year younger than him. We've been together for 3months, known each other for years and well we've been in an on and off relationship. Anyway...He had been depressed and exhausted for a month ever since he's got a new job so he barely texted me. I didn't know the reason at that time so I was kinda pissed off but 2 weeks ago we talked on the phone and he said how tired he was with his new job so I understood his situation. After hanging up, about 6 hours later, he said that he'd explain something to me when he has the time. So I waited and waited, and about 10 days have passed, and I heard nothing from him.(btw I've texted him everyday saying good morning, goodnight and telling him how my days were) The next day he texted me saying that he wants to call me but I was busy so I couldn't call him. The next day he asked me to call him again, but I was asleep(due to time difference) and then for a couple of days he hadn't texted me again. Yesterday we finally got to talk on the phone. Of course I was upset because he hadn't talked to me for weeks so I asked him what's going on.
    Before I tell you guys what he said, please don't judge him or even me. Okay, so he got fired from his job, so he got another job, but got fired again. He is jobless now, and he doesn't go to college. And a few days ago he crashed his car, and he also got 2 citations. One for drinking as a minor, and one for driving without a license. He told me that he has to go to court this September and October. Moreover, since he's jobless, he hasn't paid for any of his bills including his Internet bills, phone bills, etc etc. So he can't text me unless he can use his brother's wifi and I can't even make calls to him unless he borrows his brother's phone. He did tell me that he was looking for another job but he felt hopeless about it so he signed up for the Marine. If he gets accepted then he might join this September. Because of what he's gone through for the past weeks, he felt so depressed that he didn't want to talk to anybody at all, which is why he hasn't texted me. Plus his hair has been falling off since last year and also has had cancer which has made him more depressed so basically everything bad has happened to him all at once.. I really wish I could help him out but since we live so far away from each other, I at least want to motivate him or cheer him up instead of breaking up with him 'cause he's going through a lot of bs. I know people around me would think I'm crazy if I told them I'm in a relationship with this guy but I love him so much.. If there's anyone whose SO went through a really really tough time, how did you guys handle with it? Oh and most importantly, just in case he joins the Marine, is there anyone whose boyfriend is in the Marine? I heard that he has to be in there for 4 years so when can he come out of the military for awhile to spend time with his family/friends? Like a short vacation?
    Thanks for reading

    #2
    Wow. Seriously that's just insane all that has happened.
    Just an fyi, he cannot join the U.S. Marines if he has active cancer issues...
    Communication is a big part of any relationship and it appears you two don't seem to do that very well. Too me, there is no excuse for dissing someone that long.
    Can't you reach a family member in an emergency?

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      #3
      I dont think the military is the right place for him if he has major health issues. Is he getting treatment for his cancer?
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Originally posted by sasad View Post
        Wow. Seriously that's just insane all that has happened.
        Just an fyi, he cannot join the U.S. Marines if he has active cancer issues...
        Communication is a big part of any relationship and it appears you two don't seem to do that very well. Too me, there is no excuse for dissing someone that long.
        Can't you reach a family member in an emergency?
        This is accurate. He has to have been cancer free with no treatments or surgeries for five or more years. The military is not going to be an option for him.

        My kids are 19 and 20 and I know sometimes it can be difficult to get adjusted to the "real world". However, at almost 21, it's time for him to really focus on getting it together. Did he say why he was fired? Usually, but not always, there are a series of disciplinary actions that happen before someone is fired.

        I'm also concerned that you say he only got two citations for his accident. If he was drinking and driving, there are going to be bigger repercussions than just two citations. Plus, if this happened at the same time, he would only have one court date and not two.

        He needs to find some local support. It can be family, close friends and/or counseling that are there to encourage and work with him to get himself back on track. He also needs to realize that he is in charge of his actions and though he can have support, it's ultimately his responsibility to make sure he is making the right decisions in his life. He needs to get himself focused, healthy and and in a good frame of mind to be able to reach his future goals.
        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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