New to LFAD!

[lexilou]

I just wanted to introduce myself, my name is Lexi and I am in a committed relationship with a man that is 800 miles away from me! We met through my older brother (his best friend) and I knew I just had to be with this guy! He came down to Florida with my brother to visit me and some other family. I spent 5 days hanging out with the two of them and could tell I was already falling in love. Once they left we stayed in constant communication. Less than a month after they left I bought a plane ticket and flew to Louisiana to stay with them for a week (my brother and this man lived together in an apartment). While I was there I slept in the same bed as Craig, the man I was falling for, and it was fantastic. He told me he was having very strong feelings that he had never had for another woman before, and I told him I felt the same way. While I was in Louisiana for the week Craig asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend, and I didn't even hesitate with my answer. Since then we have not stopped texting each other, calling and FaceTiming every night. He's the exact man that I want to be with in life. He's even introduced the idea of marrying me and starting a family. I know it sounds like we're moving at warped speed, but I don't doubt for a second that this is the person I want to grow old with. I haven't yet told my mother how invested I am in this relationship, only because I'm 18 and he is 24 and I know that the distance and the age gap would worry her. I am about to start my first year at a university and he is about to finish his last. I am convinced that I want to move to Louisiana to be with him, and he is definitely happy that I want too. However, I feel it would be more fair to me if he moved here seeing as he's graduating and I am just starting out. As of right now that really is our only issue aside from the distance. I have put a lot of thought into my decisions with him so far and us living together seems like the right thing to do. My brother is completely supportive of our relationship and he is encouraging me to move in with him and Craig. I'm giving myself a year at my university in Florida before I make any hasty decisions but Craig and I both agree that we can't stand to be apart for another year. I have several trips to Louisiana planned throughout the remainder of 2015 and even some planned for 2016. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to make the distance less unbearable and how to cope with the person you love being 800 miles away.

Thanks so much!
-Lexi

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Woah now. Don't go buying rings or picking out houses yet. I know this post isn't necessarily looking for advice yet, but I can't help but give you some that you won't want to hear. You have been dating two months, you're 18, and you're already talking about marriage, moving your whole life to be with him, and how you "couldn't stand to be apart another year". Um. You haven't even been apart one year. How can you be apart another year? I find it hard to take you seriously when you're taking about moving in with a guy you've barely known two months.

Slow down. Take time to see where this relationship goes before you're already planning closing the distance. Go to school and have fun without worrying about any of this. Honestly, the next four years are going to be some of the greatest of your life if you let them be. You can also be miserable because you're just living visit to visit. Make your own life! The best part of LD is that you can keep growing as an individual while still having the support of your SO. Take this time to make friends at school and join clubs and start hobbies and study your ass off. You can definitely stay busy in college and that is the key to long distance. Enjoy your life as it is as if your SO didn't exist. He should basically be a bonus on an already amazing life.

[Harlequin]

Ah, the honeymoon phase.

You would really benefit from slowing down. While it's great that you two are so into each other, you run the risk of burning out really fast. Give yourself four years at your college in Florida before making any decisions about Craig; just because you want to spend the rest of your life with him now, after only dating two months, doesn't mean you're going to feel the same in a year. Do not compromise your education for some guy just because you're looking at the world through rose-colored glasses at the moment. Your education is far more important than he is, and he should be able to understand that. Finish school, all four years at the school that is best for your career--not best for the convenience of your relationship--then if you're still together, start talking about closing the distance. You two will be able to survive on visits and frequent communication.

Keep in mind that it's going to be hard. There's no easy way of doing an LDR, and compromising your future so early in the relationship (a year is very early when we're talking college) isn't the shortcut you currently seem to think it is. You need to make sure you get your education and you enjoy those years. College is going to provide you with opportunities you won't be able to get anywhere else, so make the most of it.

This searing-hot passion will eventually simmer down, you're going to go through tough patches for various reasons that might occasionally be outside of your control, you're going to miss each other a lot, etc. The last thing you want to do is make a huge choice that might eventually cause you to resent him. Enjoy your LDR and enjoy the passion, but be realistic about it. Actually realistic. Keeping yourself grounded will help you out more than anything else will.

[TheSteelAngel]

I hate to say this, but the ladies above are correct. In fact I have a coworker who is in a similar situation as yourself. They moved in together after 2 months of dating and only recently had a very nasty breakup. They have only been together 9 months. So yeah, as MissingMyDutchLove said you may not feel the same way about each other in a year. Slow down a bit and work on yourself and always put your education first before him.