I've been in a LDR for about 4 months. We see each other for a weekend every 2 or 3 weeks. We also chat via some txt messages (although becoming more shorter) and a phone call a day. Recently we've been just doing the standard " how was your day?" convo. Convo has turned quiet and the loved up messages seem one sided. I'm scared i bore her but i also know tht she doesn't really like to do phone calls in general. I am also worried she maybe is just keeping in this LDR because she wants to give it a go even tho her heart is not in it or does she really love me but LDR is getting to her? I know recently its becoming more apparent that travel costs of a LDR also puts pressure on the relationship. With all of these pressures it makes times hard. I love her to bits and i imagine/wish for marriage, kids and growing old together with her. Is this a 'normal' stage to a LDR? How do i get passed it quickly?
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https://dating.lovetoknow.com/Five_Stages_of_Dating
Five stages of dating:
1. Meeting - The purpose of stage one is to determine if there is enough chemistry, commonality and interest to warrant dating.
2. Dating - Stage two is the romantic stage and usually lasts for two to three months.
3. Differences - Stage three is where differences between the couple begin coming to the surface. It is also where each partner will decide for his and her self, whether to continue the relationship.
4. Independence and Interdependence - Stage four is a when the couple learns how to be a couple and still maintain a level of independence within the relationship. For most couples, this stage begins to show up after the couple has been dating for longer than six months.
5. Healthy Commitment - Stage five is where the individuals are willing to make a long term commitment with one another. Having successfully completed the four previous stages, the couple has built a foundation on trust, honesty and integrity. For some, this is marriage. For others, this means being in a monogamous relationship.
It could mean that you guys are moving from the dating stage to the differences stage. I suggest reading the different stages and so that you can see the timelines and have an idea about the evolution of relationships. -
The two biggest things that I could say are this: it is normal to have days that are just bleh in your conversations. Either nothing exciting happens or one of you is tired or whatever else. This tends to happen more the longer you are dating then at the beginning. However, that doesn't mean that it's normal for it to happen for an extended period of time. If you aren't having enjoyable conversations then that is a problem. Have you two skyped? I hate talking on the phone, but I don't mind skype. It makes the conversation a little more "face-to-face" and you could even have dates that way like watching a movie or playing a game. It makes it a little more exciting to talk if you aren't constantly trying to come up with something to say and can just enjoy your time together.
The second thing is that in a LDR the two biggest things are trust and communication. For it to work, you have to trust the fact that she's in it as much as you are unless she gives you reason to doubt it and, if she does, you need to be able to communicate that fear to her. In the beginning of my LDR, I needed a lot of reassurance that my SO was as in it as I was. Some people need this a lot and some don't. It's possible that you just need it a little more than she does and so you need to communicate this to her in order to feel secure in your relationship.Comment
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