We're starting over

[pytsip]

So if anyone has been keeping up with my threads, some of you will know that last night was the night that Belvy and I were supposed to talk about our situation. Well we laid on my couch and watched Good Luck Chuck together, and then we finally talked about the whole taking a break thing.

His reasoning for wanting a break was that he doesn't know who he is himself and doesn't think that being in a serious relationship is fair to either one of us when he needs to find out who he is first. I told him that i couldn't let him go and I definitely couldn't just be friends and he asked me why that was and i told him about how for instance at that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him and tell him I loved him, but that if we're not together, I'm not free to do those things. At which point he wrapped his arm around me and just laided there holding me for about 20 minutes, finally he said "I love you, I really do, I don't know what I want right now, but I love you."

Then we started kissing and kissing lead to other stuff, and etc. When we woke up this morning we went out and sat on my couch, and just held each other for a good 45 minutes, at which point i asked him if this was really what he wanted, and he said "I don't know, I don't think so." After I took him back to his parents house, we sat in his drive way and talked again about it, and I basically told him that I can't lose him but I also can't wait around for something that I have no clue where it's going to go, he and I agreed to take things slow, to agree that as of right now things are complicated but both of us love each other and are going to try to make things work until I'm able to go to Shanghai in February.

[annamorgan]

I honestly think everything is going to turn out fine. Sounds like you are having a rough patch, but I've learned from experience never, ever to give up on someone you can't stand living your life without. It seems like you both love each other a lot, and things will be right in the end. Keep your head up girl.

[pytsip]

I really do too... I truly believe, call it a 6th sense or just a gut feeling, but I know that he is the guy I'm supposed to be with, which is why I'm trying so very hard to stay together during this long distance thing. I think once we are both in the same country (heck only 1 hour train ride away is amazing compared to a 20 hour plane ride) that things will be good, it's just getting through this rough spot that we like to call long distance relationships. But I really believe that these next few months that if we focus on keeping up on our communication that he and i will learn so much about each other and I'm really looking forward to getting to know him even better than I do right now.

[leonina]

Changing identities is a common thing in people, so he should be able to do that with you still in the picture. If he can't give you a clear answer on what kind of relationship he wants, give him a little space to figure it out. Hopefully you can both work through this.

[pytsip]

That was kinda the point, I told him that i can completely understand how he doesn't know who he is and that he wants to figure that out, but the other part of the equation is that he does love me and that who ever he becomes is going to involve the people he loves, which means that this growing experience for him is ultimately going to include me.

[paulawriteslove]

I'm glad to hear that you're taking it slow. I know that he wants to find his identity, it's pretty easy to lose your identity when you'r in a serious relationship (and it's a pretty common problem). I know you two can work through this It sounds like he doesn't want to lose you in the process of finding himself. The best advice I can give you is to be there for him no matter what. Best of luck!

[Silviar]

Rough patches happen, and I'm glad you're at least trying to figure out things together. I think things'll become clear soon what both of you want. Best of luck!

[Karringtyn]

Things like this happen..we all go through rough patches.....I am glad you both communicated enough to get to this point.

I have been thinking about you.....and looked for an update earlier!

[pytsip]

it did take a lot of communicating, he was pretty convinced that he wanted to just be friends, but we both communicated the importance of each other and how neither of us truly wanted to lose the other. We are each other's backbones and I think he just needed reminded of how great of a pair we are. I asked him if the seriousness of the relationship scared him, and he said he didn't know, I'm pretty sure that's what it is though, by being together while he's abroad we are basically committing to 3 years together before we're actually "together" and I'm pretty sure that as a 22 year old guy that has never been in love with anyone before that the thought of that is terrifying to him, but I also know that just because he's scared, he can't just let go of the one thing that he actually knows in his life. It took a lot of talking for me to get that idea through to him, but by the end of our conversation earlier this morning I know he finally realized it. I love him for that, he ultimately followed his heart even if his gut is telling him that he's terrified of the commitment that comes with it.

[Tanja]

I'm really glad to hear that you decided to stick together!

Talking face to face, being intimate and close to each other, it makes all the difference. When you're apart things might seem so hopeless but together it feels right and he might've had a wake up call that made him realise just what he was about to give up and it stopped him from making a big mistake he would've regretted later. He obviously loves you very much ♥

I wish you 2 all the best, I'm sure you can get through this distance together!

[Caitlin2009]

if you can survive this rough patch then you can handle anything thats thrown your way, keep on fighting because i believe you guys were meant for each other!

[pytsip]

Thanks everyone, I'm happy that he and I were able to work things out, it's still a bumpy road, but at least right now we both have something to look forward to since I will be going to Shanghai in february for study abroad, which puts me only an hour train ride away from him.