The Best Ways to Develop Trust in a Distance Relationship

[LDRguru]

Building trust in a long distance relationship is probably the biggest aspect of making one successful. Any time that the tiniest thought of worry comes into your partner’s your mind, it is able to affect the relationship forever. So in order to prepare you as a long distance couple, here are some helpful tips:

Making sure to tell your significant other the truth

Firstly, always tell your partner the truth at all cost. Even the tiniest fib could possibly cause a ton of complications in the partnership. And worse yet, the won’t figure out but you will end up having guilt all through the relationship if you’ve previously told them a small white lie, you should own up promptly. They will certainly respect you more if you come clean.

Making sure to tell your significant other the truth

Firstly, always tell your partner the truth at all cost. Even the tiniest fib could possibly cause a ton of complications in the partnership. And worse yet, the won’t figure out but you will end up having guilt all through the relationship if you’ve previously told them a small white lie, you should own up promptly. They will certainly respect you more if you come clean.

Give Details On Your Entire Day

Every time your lover inquires how the day was, let them know everything. What they are usually asking is, ”what have you been up to since I wasn’t there with you ?” They most likely miss you an are trying to be when you both reunite should allow them defeat the time that you are apart.

Introduce Your Significant Other To Your Colleagues

Most friends of the opposite sex have previously been suspected as a possible competitor by your sweet heart. This is absolutely normal for people that are away from each other. Remember to introduce your colleagues and friends to your companion to let them know that you aren’t trying to hide anybody from them.

Stay Away From The Clubbing Lifestyle

I’m not suggesting you should stay at home every evening in your rocking chair doing your sewing. But yet think of how your partner could feel about you going out clubbing. For the younger ones, the purpose of every night out at the nightclubs can be to seek a love interest, and frequently making numerous stupid decisions. Contemplate how your partner might feel about you going out becoming drunk and then letting your shield down, while some are planning to approach you. They probably aren’t comfortable with that.

Completely Trust Your Lover

A trust issue often occurs if one person doesn’t completely trust the other. You must talk about and arrange the expectations of the relationship before beginning the relationship. By trusting your companion completely with these expectations, they are going to normally trust you in return. In the event that one person doesn’t the likelihood is that it will trigger the other distrusting them

[Moon]

LOL, and what credentials make you an LDRguru, exactly?

[differentcountries]

So....completely trust your lover, but don't go out clubbing alone and you have to give detailed accounts of your day?

[whatruckus]

I agree with some of what you wrote, but for the most part, I disagree. A white lie is a white lie for a reason, it's meant to do no harm. Most people would rather hear a little tiny lie, than hear the truth. It's just human nature. White lies to me are telling someone they look fine, when maybe they don't look so hot (ie. they're sick, and feel crappy). Or someone made a drawing and they're really proud of it, but you're just kind "ehhhh" about it, but you tell them you love it so you don't hurt their feelings.

Giving details about my entire day is too much for me, and too much for my SO as well. Most of the time I just ask him how work was and leave it at that. If I were to tell my SO everything that happened in the day, I'd probably get stressed out all over again, and so would he. I only ever really tell him something about my day if it's worth mentioning. For instance, if something really good happened, I bought something cool, or if someone or something really angered me.

For the clubbing thing, I get what you're trying to say, but if that's what your SO is into, then let it be. You can't ask someone to change their lifestyle for you. My SO goes out to bars all the time, I'm not a big fan of them because I don't drink. But, I'm not going to tell him, "Oh, you can't go because I don't like it." In fact, because he goes out to bars all the time he's made a lot of new friends, which he's shared with me. So, the introducing your SO part I agree with.

Trust doesn't mean that you have to be a completely open book with your SO, and if you're not, it doesn't mean they can't trust you. There are things I don't tell my SO and things he doesn't tell me, simply because they're not worth mentioning. If it does no harm to our relationship, there's no need to bring it up. To me, trust is about having Faith in the person you're with. If they've never given you a reason to second guess, or doubt, then there's no need to question the trust. If you do, when there's nothing your SO has done, chances are the problem is you and your insecurities.

I always say this: If you doom something to fail, it's going to fail.

[differentcountries]

Actually I like the honesty approach. A single white lie may not hurt, but if you tell even small lies a lot you create an environment where it is not safe to tell the truth. You also distort things when people actually want information, not just someone to nod to their suggestions. I am not sure what I would say if someone showed me an art object I did not like, but since I don't have much knowledge about art I probably would have said something like "It is not really my thing but perhaps I don't know that much about drawing art! I am more into photography, you know" . If someone asks me how they look, I always try to find some part of them that look good and comment upon that. I mean if they are already dresssed there is not much to do about it. If people are trying on clothes in a shop, I will not say: "you look ugly in that greent sweater", but rather say "I find that the yellow one suited your figure best" or "Perhaps in the next store we can find the perfect clothes for your body, I always have to try on 20 items of clothes to find one I like!". If I feel brave or if it is a close friend that is too tired/sad for a party, I might say something like "Let's all rest a bit before the party/watch a movie to get our spirits up and into the party mood". Or if something specific bothers them I am open to talk to them about that. It is often like that half the "outfit" for a party is your mood! I find that people often ask how they/their stuff look not because they want actual answers so much, but to connect, but I still don't like to lie so what I do is usually redirect their attention to what I think they should focus on. I don't find it hard to give genuine compliments as I find that usually everyone has something good about them. Even that fat, sourfaced woman at work sometimes wear nicelooking earrings and so I will tell her that her earrings are stunning - and mean it. I don't tell her that the rest of her looks like shit because that is not helpful to anybody. But also I don't lie to her.

And I find that I withold things less and less from SO, even simple things like How are you I am less and less polite and more to the point as to tell him if I am tired, sad, happy or whatever I am feeling at that time. And it gives him freedom to be more open with me and to share a bigger variety of emotions and events with me, because I so strongly signal to him that I am open to it. Both my men used to tell a lot of white lies, to me and everyone else, thinking it did no harm. But the effect was to distort information and also in 97 % of the cases you could have said at least a kind version of the truth and it would be well accepted. For instance, they used to lie when they felt too tired to see their friends or wanted to go home early. When in fact, saying: "I am too tired to meet up today, but can we meet tomorrow?" or "It has been a long day, I hope you don't mind if I leave soon" will be very caring because you make sure to indicate that you will see each other again and that your tiredness is not because you are bored. We live more exiting lives when we are open about what happens in and around us, you don't have to remember which lies you told and people feel that you are more genuine. I am ok with him telling white lies to his boss because his is depandant on his money, I also don't feel guilty lying to my Norwegian MIL because she is crazy and obsesses over details noone else cares about, but with most other people I don't think it should be neccesary to lie to show people that you care. It takes a bit of practice to be honest without being rude but it can be done.

[sasad]

Hmmm..
Trust is earned. It's about respect and knowing limits and boundaries with yourself and each other.
Like others said, I so do not need to know every detail. I do need to know he loves me and that we are there for each other. Together.

[Unicorn26]

LOL!!!! My SO is a bar tender! I know he gets hit on all the time and recently he told me that a female co worker had been chasing him. However, despite all this I totally completely trust him 100%.

He spends so much time texting me I know he would have no time to invest in another. Also I just KNOW he would never do that to me! I don't how I know, but I just do. He always calls me when he gets home from work and always texts me as soon as he wakes in the morning. I know he loves me deeply, it never crosses my mind that he would be unfaithful. I would never be unfaithful to him either. I get hit on all the time, but no one compares to him. No one comes anywhere near and I've never experienced the close bond we have with anyone else, I would never do anything to jeopardise that and he feels the same way.

Trust is no issue with us.

[hmrambling]

Article was copied and pasted from this link

Are you the LDRGuru because you are Jenny Edwards and this post is self promotion?

Your previous post:

Can anyone recommend top 10 LDR books ?

Maybe you stumbled across the article while you were looking for LDR books. In that case, you might want to say that you would like to share the article with us.

Edited for accuracy:

Making sure to tell your significant other the truth Be honest.

Give Details On Your Entire Day Don't omit important facts, feelings, or thoughts.

Introduce Your Significant Other To Your Colleagues Include your SO in your life as you are able.

Stay Away From The Clubbing Lifestyle Be productive with your time, take up a hobby, get fit, explore your interests. Don't sit at home sulking all of the time.

Completely Trust Your Lover Work to establish trust over the course of time, and continue to work on your relationship.

[lyonsgirl]

Maybe you stumbled across the article while you were looking for LDR books. In that case, you might want to say that you would like to share the article with us.

Doubtful. If you look at the times the posts were made, the LDR books question was posted after this OP.

To the OP: If you want to share a link with us, that's great, we'd love to see it. But please credit the original author. If you are the original author, great! Tell us that. Don't plagiarize someone else's work.