I am in some desperate need of advice;
I have known this guy for about 5 years now through the Internet. Last September he flew over from London and we met for the first time (I am from Ireland) it all started off well, and I didn't really think much of it at the time. I sort of just seen it as a friendship more than anything. However, since April of this year, things have gotten a little more serious. I flew over to him and spent a couple of days, where I met all of his family,plus aunts/uncles/cousins. So that made me feel like he was really really serious about us. The next time, he flew over and met my parents. And after that I went over for his graduation in May, and then for a two week holiday in July.
Things are moving pretty fast, but slowly at the same time. I became sexually active with him and I had waited until this point (19 years old) because I wanted to wait for the right person, and I genuinely think it was the right decision. I don't know if it's love I feel towards him but it's definitely very very close.
Anyway, where I am confused and feel like I have control over is this;
We are not boyfriend and girlfriend, because he previously was in an LDR with a girl from England, and she cheated on him and all sorts of things that really made him lose trust. Whenever I ask him what he wants, he tells me he knows what he wants long term, but he doesn't know what he wants short term, as in a long distance relationship with a girl from Ireland, which makes me anxious as I feel sort of like its on his terms. We have talked about what I want, but he just keeps telling me it's not what he wants and he doesn't want to rush into a relationship because he'd rather this to work out with us. So basically, until I move over there with him, we can't be in a "relationship". (Oh, by the way, I am 19, and he is 23. We will both be 20 & 24 soon). He has a secure job, a flat and a car so I honestly don't think he would move over here. I have only graduated beauty school, so I have no ties here whatsoever, so it feels like moving over there could be a possibility. We agreed to have a "trial" in September and see how things go from there. I really really want it to work with him, and I really feel like I am falling in love.
Now the worst part; I found dating sites he is active on a few weeks ago, and I confronted him about it. He told me that he has them to talk to other people and see different personalities. And he has no feelings for any girls on there, and that I am the only one he has strong feelings for. This, to me, is complete and utter bullshit and I feel like I am just being taken for a complete ride.
It's really affecting me and I can't stop thinking and worrying he is making another girl fall for him, or feels strong feeling about another girl. And it's not like I can ask him to stop cause we are not even together.
I just really need advice on what I should do. I have never felt like this about someone before, and I feel like I have given all of me to him. But at the same time I don't want to move over and feel the same way I do now, with him still talking to these other girls on dating apps. Am I being too over the top and possessive? I really don't want to lose him.
I have known this guy for about 5 years now through the Internet. Last September he flew over from London and we met for the first time (I am from Ireland) it all started off well, and I didn't really think much of it at the time. I sort of just seen it as a friendship more than anything. However, since April of this year, things have gotten a little more serious. I flew over to him and spent a couple of days, where I met all of his family,plus aunts/uncles/cousins. So that made me feel like he was really really serious about us. The next time, he flew over and met my parents. And after that I went over for his graduation in May, and then for a two week holiday in July.
Things are moving pretty fast, but slowly at the same time. I became sexually active with him and I had waited until this point (19 years old) because I wanted to wait for the right person, and I genuinely think it was the right decision. I don't know if it's love I feel towards him but it's definitely very very close.
Anyway, where I am confused and feel like I have control over is this;
We are not boyfriend and girlfriend, because he previously was in an LDR with a girl from England, and she cheated on him and all sorts of things that really made him lose trust. Whenever I ask him what he wants, he tells me he knows what he wants long term, but he doesn't know what he wants short term, as in a long distance relationship with a girl from Ireland, which makes me anxious as I feel sort of like its on his terms. We have talked about what I want, but he just keeps telling me it's not what he wants and he doesn't want to rush into a relationship because he'd rather this to work out with us. So basically, until I move over there with him, we can't be in a "relationship". (Oh, by the way, I am 19, and he is 23. We will both be 20 & 24 soon). He has a secure job, a flat and a car so I honestly don't think he would move over here. I have only graduated beauty school, so I have no ties here whatsoever, so it feels like moving over there could be a possibility. We agreed to have a "trial" in September and see how things go from there. I really really want it to work with him, and I really feel like I am falling in love.
Now the worst part; I found dating sites he is active on a few weeks ago, and I confronted him about it. He told me that he has them to talk to other people and see different personalities. And he has no feelings for any girls on there, and that I am the only one he has strong feelings for. This, to me, is complete and utter bullshit and I feel like I am just being taken for a complete ride.
It's really affecting me and I can't stop thinking and worrying he is making another girl fall for him, or feels strong feeling about another girl. And it's not like I can ask him to stop cause we are not even together.
I just really need advice on what I should do. I have never felt like this about someone before, and I feel like I have given all of me to him. But at the same time I don't want to move over and feel the same way I do now, with him still talking to these other girls on dating apps. Am I being too over the top and possessive? I really don't want to lose him.
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