Sending pictures to my SO

[Snowdrop]

I have a question on body image. My boyfriend and I have been dating long distance for almost one year. We were physically together for 2 wekes before he left and it was all prim and proper. When apart we've communicated on skype and exchanged photos often. I sometimes filtered my photos before sending because I am not confident with my looks/body. I don't want to turn him off by sending uncropped/unfiltered photos, but I don't want to be dishonest about my how my body looks either. What if he finds it unattractive when we meet again and thinks I have been lying to him? He did say the natural photos I sent are not gross and he likes them, but is he just being polite since he sort of "pestered" me to send the unfiltered ones? He says I am the sweetest, most wonderful woman he has met, so I know he does not like me for my looks only. But should I better be honest with him or wait until we meet again, which we do not know when? How do you deal with this issue? :/

[R&R]

Honesty, honesty, honesty. It is critical. Your SO deserves your honesty, just as you deserve his. This is in ALL aspects of your relationship. Yes, you need to tell him the truth. You can also explain the reason you sent filtered ones was due to your own insecurity and nothing that he had done.

Individuals are too often so much harder on ourselves than our loved ones are. I've been with my SO almost 2 years. I prefer how I look lightly made up and with my hair done. My SO likes me best fresh from the shower - makeup free, hair naturally dried. Why? Because physically, that is me in my most honest, cleanest, barest, natural form and he loves it! I am "curvy", I have slight stretch marks from when I was pregnant with my girls, my breasts aren't perky, but I am what he desires and he loves. Your SO loves you for who you are, what you look like, your personality - remember that. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Filsoof]

You gotta be honerst. If he cannot accept how you look, then what's the point in the end? If you guys can survive the distance, I'm sure you can survive sending unfiltered pictures.

[differentcountries]

Do you want him to relate to you or the fantasy you spin to him? Be honest. This is not Facebook. He loves you for you, not some perfect image.

I love it when my SO sends me pics of him sad, or sends body pics where his not sixpack stomack is showing. He is always beatiful to me. I would be very upset if he "fixed" anything. I was even slightly upset when he took the strings on his teeth out, because at first he did not look like my boyfriend but a stranger

As for girls, we often imagine that we have to look so thin or prestine done makeup to be pretty,when guys often like curves and think "bedhead" hair or casual looks can be sexy. I really like to dress up and make myself look presentable and of course he enjoys that as long as I shower it will take a lot for him to think I don't look good- as it should be.

You have dated a year already, time to loose the idea that he will be turned off by you. If he likes you, he likes you!

[snow]

I don't think putting some filter on your pictures is an awful act of dishonesty, as long as you send him unfiltered ones when he asks for them. Your SO loves you for who you are and since you've already been together in person, I'm pretty sure he liked what he saw

[differentcountries]

I bet the OP edits the pics pretty much if she actually wonders if he will recognize her body as hers when he sees her next, as compared to the pictures.

[R&R]

I don't think putting some filter on your pictures is an awful act of dishonesty, as long as you send him unfiltered ones when he asks for them. Your SO loves you for who you are and since you've already been together in person, I'm pretty sure he liked what he saw

I bet the OP edits the pics pretty much if she actually wonders if he will recognize her body as hers when he sees her next, as compared to the pictures.

The OP stated the first visit they had was "all prim and proper", which I took to mean that clothes were kept on and he didn't see her nude. Now the pics she's been sending have been filtered, and she's afraid that when he actually sees her unclothed he will realize that she had been manipulating the pictures.

[differentcountries]

You are creating a no win game if you show him fanny pictures that doesn't look like you, ask if he likes them and then later on want him to love you for the different body that you have. At best you will make him very confused, at worst you train him to love an image you can never be. And when he falls into your trap, will you blame him?

[Snowdrop]

R&R that's what I mean to say, but I cannot post in the adult section so I had to be more vague with my wording. Thank you for everyone's input, I decided to be completely honest with him. I was wondering should I spare him the not so nice details for the time being, because it is up to me to decide how raunchy the photos can be. But since he is going to see them eventually, I showed him the untouched up version of my body and he seemed to be ok with it. Maybe I am being too hard on myself. Anyway, if he loves me less because of what he sees, I guess I'd better know it than later.

[Miasmata]

Anyway, if he loves me less because of what he sees, I guess I'd better know it than later.

This is so important! If he was going to be into you less because of what you look like, you'd be wasting your time. Honesty is incredibly important - You don't want to end up with someone who doesn't like the honest, real you, and is only satisfied with a warped version of yourself. Good on you for being courageous and honest with him now! Keep it up!

[ronjaandbirk]

Honestly, men care alot less about cellulite, love handles and some tummy than we do. I'd say the chances he's just being polite with unfiltered pics are very very slim. I hate my body too and hate those pics of me personally but my guy keeps asking for them so i take that to mean that he rely likes them lol Try not to worry so much, im sure its all fine