End of May my friend's BFF comes in from out of state to see her. We end up hitting it off at a party and making out a bit. We started texting a little while later. Things slowly ramped up, with the cutesy texting, innuendos, etc. We made plans to spend a weekend together at the end of July. And then the week before I kinda fucked everything up.
I'd had a really shitty morning at work and took off after lunch. She'd said a couple times that morning how she wanted cuddles, and I jokingly said, "I could be there by 5," to which she said, "Okay..
" I took a long nap, and when I woke up, I thought "Screw it, I could sit around all evening bingeing Netflix, or I could go see her." I asked her what she was up to that evening and she said her mom was coming over for dinner and they'd probably watch a movie. She lived four and a half hours away, so I figured that was perfect, since she wouldn't be expecting me to text while she was having quality time.
So there I was at her house, and she was shocked/excited that I was there....but so was her mom. Who spends the night on Wednesdays so she can get to work quickly on Thursdays. Talk about awkward. I slept on her couch that night and after her mom left in the morning we made out a bit and had breakfast. Came back to her place and made out some in her bed, but then she got kinda nervous. Talked about how it was a bit surreal. Things seemed normal until the next day.
I felt so bad about interrupting her evening and showing up unexpected and I let her know. She said that she was a bit shocked, but she knew I was just trying to be sweet. Then she said that she "realize I'm not quite ready to date. I feel nervous thinking about it, and like I stated the distance is an issue. I like talking with you and our movie nights but I want to be careful in a way...if that makes sense."
We still did our weekly movie night, but I could feel she was pulling away. And at the same time I had no idea if she still wanted to do our weekend trip, until the day prior when she woke me up with a "one more day until you get here" text. I was stoked, but also hesitant, because I shit you not, I ended my last failing relationship about a week after she and I spent a weekend together out of town with almost the same gameplan. Anyways, we had a fun time, she even took a couple-like selfie of us and threw it on FB, we made breakfast for each other, and it seemed like normal.
After I got back she's gotten distant, and only responded to my texts, never initiating conversation. I've gone silent since Thursday to give myself space. The only other hitch is that we're all going to be sharing a beach house at the end of next month. She was going as my +1. That should be interesting now. Any advice on how to handle that?
Other info: I wouldn't want to do an LDR without an endgame either. And we'd talked about that in our early texts. I already had a few job opportunities in her city, and I'll probably be moving there in the next two months. I'm not deluded, I know that I screwed up. I know I probably have no chance any time soon. And at the same time, I'd like to take what she said at face value and think that things would be different if I weren't four hours away. I just don't want to push her away even further.
I'd had a really shitty morning at work and took off after lunch. She'd said a couple times that morning how she wanted cuddles, and I jokingly said, "I could be there by 5," to which she said, "Okay..
" I took a long nap, and when I woke up, I thought "Screw it, I could sit around all evening bingeing Netflix, or I could go see her." I asked her what she was up to that evening and she said her mom was coming over for dinner and they'd probably watch a movie. She lived four and a half hours away, so I figured that was perfect, since she wouldn't be expecting me to text while she was having quality time.So there I was at her house, and she was shocked/excited that I was there....but so was her mom. Who spends the night on Wednesdays so she can get to work quickly on Thursdays. Talk about awkward. I slept on her couch that night and after her mom left in the morning we made out a bit and had breakfast. Came back to her place and made out some in her bed, but then she got kinda nervous. Talked about how it was a bit surreal. Things seemed normal until the next day.
I felt so bad about interrupting her evening and showing up unexpected and I let her know. She said that she was a bit shocked, but she knew I was just trying to be sweet. Then she said that she "realize I'm not quite ready to date. I feel nervous thinking about it, and like I stated the distance is an issue. I like talking with you and our movie nights but I want to be careful in a way...if that makes sense."
We still did our weekly movie night, but I could feel she was pulling away. And at the same time I had no idea if she still wanted to do our weekend trip, until the day prior when she woke me up with a "one more day until you get here" text. I was stoked, but also hesitant, because I shit you not, I ended my last failing relationship about a week after she and I spent a weekend together out of town with almost the same gameplan. Anyways, we had a fun time, she even took a couple-like selfie of us and threw it on FB, we made breakfast for each other, and it seemed like normal.
After I got back she's gotten distant, and only responded to my texts, never initiating conversation. I've gone silent since Thursday to give myself space. The only other hitch is that we're all going to be sharing a beach house at the end of next month. She was going as my +1. That should be interesting now. Any advice on how to handle that?
Other info: I wouldn't want to do an LDR without an endgame either. And we'd talked about that in our early texts. I already had a few job opportunities in her city, and I'll probably be moving there in the next two months. I'm not deluded, I know that I screwed up. I know I probably have no chance any time soon. And at the same time, I'd like to take what she said at face value and think that things would be different if I weren't four hours away. I just don't want to push her away even further.
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