I'm becoming obsessed with my boyfriend

[retty]

I've been apart from my boyfriend for 2 months now. At first it wasn't too bad, i missed him but i was generally feeling ok with the situation.

He's coming back in just over a week for a short visit, and the closer that day gets the more and more obsessed I am becoming with him. I think about him all the time, i want to talk to him all the time, and i am getting ridiculously jealous whenever he goes out. It used to be that he was the one who was more in love and now i feel like he doesn't care as much as he use to, but at the same time i am becoming more and more crazy about him. I think basically he is so busy so he doesn't have as much time to think of me...but I'm a lot less busy lol. I am already worried this relationship can't last because all the odds are against it, and now i feel like i am sabotaging it even more

I don't know how to start and now I worry I am pushing him away and I am going to be really clingy when he visits. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I stop this?

[differentcountries]

You know the answer to this. Get more busy. Having nothing to do makes the mind spin.

You have been in the relationship less than six months. When a year has passed you will have learned how to do this, and in time how to close the distance. Don't make yourself crazy thinking in absolutes.

I have felt this too. In the beginning when I visited, he was a student and could take time off from his books when I visited. In the beginning he craved time with me so much that he almost cried when I was alone 30 minutes in the bathroom. Now, he works full time AND he studies and his workload is just insane. I however have plenty of time to obsess and sometimes I do. On visits I come out as clingy, too, since what I do is I study at his workplace and then I wait for him to finish his job. I have no simple solution, really, exept it shifted the energy a little bit when he visited me and had to wait for me to finish my job (there was really no point of him hanging at my job). I try to just...I don't know, slow things down. Enjoy myself without him. I just took up a new hobby that is SO much fun and it was great to discover that I can entertain myself with stuff that has got little to do with him.

Just make sure you don't become too closed up on your emotions as that is not healthy either. There is no shame crying a little bit. I will put on his clothes and cry, stuff like that. It is normal and helps. Especially it reduces the black and white thinking, because when I feel close to him I don't get this intense urgeto close the distance TOMORROW OR ELSE EVERYTHING IS LOST. I feel bad that I can't see him more, still. But it is not like, stresssing me as much.

[retty]

It's really driving me crazy. I've been trying to focus on other things but everything else in my life right now is stressing me out so much that thinking about his visit is the only thing that is making me happy right now. I hate feeling like i can't control my emotions and i am so worried about what will happen when he leaves again. I think my personality just isn't suited to an LDR...

[mellif]

Don't freak out yet; I think it's easy to lose control of your emotions in any relationship. And maybe it's easier to lose control in an LDR-- I easily unravel the week before a visit, just because I'm so damn excited. But I wouldn't assume that it's The End just because you feel this way.

It's understandable to be clingy during visits. You hardly get to see your special someone, and it's ok to treat them special. However, maybe it's something you want to bring up with your SO-- to understand how much space he prefers. For example, my SO and I are fully aware that we're super clingy during visits, and that would annoy us on a regular basis; but we've agreed that it's not something we can help for now. We just can't help but to cuddle and kiss all the time, we crave it too often when we're seperated. I would ask your SO if he feels comfortable with your relationship space perhaps during or after the visit, after you guys have felt the waters a bit.

Still, staying busy is essential. Personally, I've learned to be productive is the best way to feel in control of myself. By being proud of being productive, I feel more independent and more in control. So try different things, or even go to different places. I had to set short-term goals, and long-term goals-- things that I could achieve on my own, like (short term) writing, and (long term) becoming a published author. I had these goals before, but our relationship motivated me to work harder. Being without him is a battle, and sometimes you need to strategize to win the battles that will help you win the war. I've found that working on my discipline and goals helps me become a stronger person, and, thus, a more stable girlfriend.

[Sakuu4]

While reading this, I honestly thought it could be my own post. I'm in the same situation, although we have been together for more than 1 year.
Like you, I started thinking that I am not suitable for this kind of relationship, at the same time I'm frustrated because I'm like "hey I made it till today, what's the problem now?".
But it really is hurting me. Like, everyday life is heavy and even thinking about next visit doesn't help cause I end up thinking that it will be the same as before as soon as he leaves.
I really envy him because he seems to be just fine, and that makes me sad cause it seems he doesn't care and just enjoys his life without me. I truly am happy to not hear him crying on the phone like he used to (we started as a close distance couple), but we are both free in this period and I would like to "spend" more time together.

You all are right about staying busy, but it is not easy. Even if I'm doing something else it is always in the back of my head and I can't focus.
I would suggest to talk to him and ask for some kind of help, like maybe setting a day you can talk more so that you have something to look forward to.

[Alyhere]

This last reply could have been written by me, too, which means I also agree with what you say lol

We've been together for over a year and now that I'm on a break from uni (or at least I'm hoping this is the reason and this will all go away when I'm busy again) I miss him like crazy every time he pops on my mind.
But I do remember a time, early on in the relationship, when I was just the same as you. At the end of the day, I think time just passed, and my emotions kinda moderated themselves, along with getting busy, which you've heard already (and I completely understand is difficult sometimes).

I'd say do what was mentioned above and talk to him if he feels like he needs space, in the beginning I think I was clingier and he was bothered by the smothering when we were together, but now we both miss each so much that I think he needs the time together just as much, perhaps you're just ahead of the game like I was

[yukimiamor]

I was at work and my boss dropped his pliers on my head accidentally.
It took my mind of her.

[oinkpig329]

This is also very similar to my situation. He is very busy. I am very not busy. I am very emotional. He is very practical. This leads to me getting all emotional and clingy and him basically saying "I'm sorry. I'm trying but I'm busy". I try to distract myself but sometimes it just doesn't work. I think it's just a part of the distance. Hopefully it'll come and go, but we're going to have a conversation about it and how to help me better get through this right now. It weighs very heavily on me but I know we'll get through it and I know he loves me and is all in. <3 good luck to you!