OTR Truckdriver

[CindyLou1]

I am in a long distance relationship with a truck driver. I get so confused sometimes. Going back and forth with believing in the relationship and the next day or week wondering if hes leading me on.

[lykim]

I am in a long distance relationship with a truck driver. I get so confused sometimes. Going back and forth with believing in the relationship and the next day or week wondering if hes leading me on.

Hi, welcome to LFAD.
If you like some advice, I think you would need to provide more info on your situation. Some generic advice: If you believe somebody is leading you on, ask them what they want from this relationship? If they are serious about it? How high on you on the scale of their priorities? Etc. I will answer more on depth if you provide some more information, as I previously mentioned.
Cc.

[CindyLou1]

Thanks for the reply likim. We have been together almost 2yrs. I see him about once every 3-4 months. We text or talk on the phone a few times a week. When I ask what he wants, he says he wants to marry me and that he loves me. The plan is for me to move to cali after my daughter graduates and he will go off the road and work local. That's years away. I sometimes wonder if he is not leading me on but I can't understand why he would for this long. I recently cheated on him with someone from my past, I told him the truth, I honestly was afraid that it would end the relationship. I figured if he was looking for a reason that would have been it. He was upset, asked me a lot of questions. He said he was hurt but we will make it through this because he loves me and don't want to let me go. I guess my problem is that I'm looking for solid evidence that he is sincere, I have his word but I don't feel he has put effort into showing me only telling me.

[Elizabeth123]

Welcome to LFAD
CindyLou1

I guess my problem is that I'm looking for solid evidence that he is sincere, I have his word but I don't feel he has put effort into showing me only telling me.

You have an interesting viewpoint given the behavior you have admitted to.....Maybe he needs you to put some effort into earning his trust?

[CindyLou1]

I appreciate your opinion and feedback elizabeth123. I agree with you, and I feel guilty as hell. But with that being said, your not aware of his behavior prior to this that caused me to have the insecurities that I do about this relationship. I found out a few months into this relationship (by accident) that he did not tell me his real name when he first met me. I also was not sure about having this type of relationship at first but I agreed to it because he told me he was in my area often and we would see each other a couple times a month and spend time together, which turned into 3-4 times a year. I am still waiting on all the things he told me in the beginning that I have still yet to see.

[Harlequin]

I appreciate your opinion and feedback elizabeth123. I agree with you, and I feel guilty as hell. But with that being said, your not aware of his behavior prior to this that caused me to have the insecurities that I do about this relationship. I found out a few months into this relationship (by accident) that he did not tell me his real name when he first met me. I also was not sure about having this type of relationship at first but I agreed to it because he told me he was in my area often and we would see each other a couple times a month and spend time together, which turned into 3-4 times a year. I am still waiting on all the things he told me in the beginning that I have still yet to see.

I bolded that one sentence to bring up a point: you need to tell us the details that are important to the situation in order for any of us to give you sound advice. By only saying that you cheated on him and then he wasn't doing anything to prove to you that he's sincere, it sounded like the insincerity was directly related to the cheating, and you wanted advice on that specifically. It can be a pain in the butt to have to type everything out, but we're only interested in giving you honest advice (for better or worse), so sometimes it's better to give a few too many details than not quite enough.

That being said, I'm going to throw more questions at you, if you don't mind. What are the other things you're still waiting on? He was, of course, invested enough to talk things out with the cheating thing, but how is communication between you two otherwise? Is there anything else in his behavior that has you suspicious? How does he act when you two are actually together? I know he says he loves you and wants to marry you, but do his actions also say that?

I don't want to make any judgements for or against him until we have a bit of a clearer picture. Starting the relationship off with a fake name isn't exactly the best foundation, and if there are other things you're still waiting on, they're worth investigating. My general advice is to talk to him about your concerns. Tell him how you're feeling, and how you're still waiting on those things.

[differentcountries]

I am only guessing here, but perhaps he doesn't make his own scedule, and that scedules change, so that twice a month may have been accurate at the time he said it. Is there a reason why you don't go to see him?