Any advice is great! ☺

[Me♡]

Hi this my first time posting here, I don't think I have a lot to say but could use some advice or tips, my boyfriend and I are both 23yrs old, he lives in NJ and I live in AZ, he's my first boyfriend and I don't really know much about relationships, I don't know what to do in some situations, I don't know if there's a certain amount of time we should talk on the phone, Skype, text, etc, should I say something if he doesn't respond to my texts?(it does bother me, but looking around the forums, it seems common for guys mostly to not respond, not trying to offend anyone☺)there's many questions I have regarding relationships, and could really use the help, the only time I asked for help was from a lady I met, she told me to not take our relationship seriously and to just have fun flirting with him since he's too far, I thanked her for her advice but kept thinking about it(she's not the first person to say that) and I believe that I should take my boyfriend seriously just as I would want him to do with me, it was my decision to say yes to him and he's been good to me, so I don't want to play with his feelings(we've been together for almost 9months now, may not be much but it is more than we expected). After that time haven't asked for any other help until now, but I do wish I had someone to talk since I'm a newbie in relationships, so any tips or advice would be great! Thanks ☺ hope I make sense...

P.s. thanks to this page I can see that I was misinformed about long distance relationships, they can actually work and I see things differently now ☺

[LivingInWonderland]

Welcome to the forums!

All I can really say about how much time you "should" be talking, is really only up to the two of you. Talk how ever much time works! There isn't really a right or wrong amount of time to talk in a LDR. I've found that talking a lot does make things easier. There are days where my boyfriend and I don't get to talk at all, due to work, social activities, school work, etc. Then there are other days we talk continuously almost the entire day. Just do what works for you guys.

I get annoyed sometimes when my boyfriend doesn't reply to my texts, but I try to keep in mind that there is almost always a reason why he doesn't. My boyfriend is usually pretty quick about replying, but there have been time where it has taken him over an hour to reply. Usually with reason. So try not to worry too much about your boyfriend not replying. Odds are there is a reason for it.

This is my first relationship as well. So it is a lot of trial and error for me as well. I usually go to my parents with these kinds of questions, because they have been together since they were much younger than I am. So their knowledge on a long lasting relationship does come in handy! Lol

Again, welcome to LFAD!

Also, I will just add.... Don't listen to other people. I have had so many people tell me to just give up because it's not going to work anyways. I'm sure many other members of this forum have heard the same thing. Long distance relationships aren't for everyone, but that doesn't mean they never work. LDR's seem to have a lot of stereotypes. Most of which I have found are very wrong. Just do what makes YOU happy. Don't worry about what other people say or think. Not everyone is going to support your relationship. Hardly anyone supports mine. That's kind of just the sad reality of it. But don't let the things other people say make you doubt your relationship.

[Harlequin]

Welcome!

There really isn't a set amount you have to talk. As you two get more comfortable, you'll end up falling into a rhythm that works for you. Him not responding to your texts could be for a variety of reasons, so I wouldn't sweat that too much. If he starts making a habit out of it, then bring it up and find out if it's maybe work, or something silly like him forgetting. I know I'll occasionally read a text, then get sidetracked and completely forget to respond. As far as skyping, schedule skype dates for sure. You don't necessarily have to schedule them forever in advance, but even being like "Hey wanna skype this weekend?" works. And again, it's just at whatever pace you two feel comfortable in. I feel like you have a little more freedom to be spontaneous with phone calls.
Overall, just talk it over with him and see what works best for the both of you.

I definitely agree with taking people's advice with a grain of salt. While I'm sure their advice is coming from a good place, unless they've been in an LDR, they're not really going to understand.

My biggest piece of advice for any relationship is to keep your communication open. When your relationship is primarily communication, it's important to be really good at it. Be honest with each other. You can't fix a problem you don't know about, etc.

[sasad]

Communicate as much as you both need. Keep things open and honest as you can. Try to plan date nights. There are tons of suggestions on things to do via Skype and other apps together. My SO takes me to the beach with his cell and we skype while having a glass of wine watching the sunset.
Text messaging.... Be careful. Sometimes things can and will be misinterpreted as you can't hear the tone of voice etc. More arguments get started when people assume the text was "said" a certain way.
Some times phone calls can be a little boring. Always the same, hi how are you, how was your day stuff. There are books out there that have questions and discussion starters to help alleviate that.
Learn about each other, plan visits, be yourselves and communicate!

[Chillosaurus]

There is no rule on how you need to live your relationship.
You two are free to discover what is best for the both of you.
Enjoy the time together.
Have fun and be safe (not too safe though!).

[Britanica]

Every couple is different. Every day for over a year me and my other half are in skype calls every day. Our sleep/work hours line up to make this possible. We text during the day and every evening when he gets home from work we skype till he goes it bed. It has never gotten boring for us because we both work or play games while skyping. Don't feel like you can ever talk to much or ever too little.

[Britanica]

Communicate as much as you both need. Keep things open and honest as you can. Try to plan date nights. There are tons of suggestions on things to do via Skype and other apps together. My SO takes me to the beach with his cell and we skype while having a glass of wine watching the sunset.
Text messaging.... Be careful. Sometimes things can and will be misinterpreted as you can't hear the tone of voice etc. More arguments get started when people assume the text was "said" a certain way.
Some times phone calls can be a little boring. Always the same, hi how are you, how was your day stuff. There are books out there that have questions and discussion starters to help alleviate that.
Learn about each other, plan visits, be yourselves and communicate!

That is so sweet and adorable!