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Feelings deeper with LDR?

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    #1

    Feelings deeper with LDR?

    Hi everyone,
    I was introduced to my SO a month ago through a mutual friend on Facebook. He is from my area, but moved to where he is for his job. There is no chance he’ll be moving back. Knowing this, we made the decision to begin an LDR. It’s been wonderful. I feel so connected to him in every way. He’s coming for a visit in 2 weeks and we both are so excited. We’ll finally get to meet! 652 miles/10 hour drive - it doesn't feel that badk.

    This is my first ever LDR and am just wondering if the emotions are more intense because of the distance? All we do is talk and visit over Skype so I know so much about him and he knows the same about me. It’s effortless – we get along in every way. There have no major arguments or disagreements and there’s nothing to indicate what we’re feeling isn’t real.

    There is anxiety about meeting, or rather saying goodbye, for the first time. I’ve read so many stories on the forum about how hard it is. But, everyone on here seems to have made it work, so why not us? There is a plan for me to move out to where he is in a year – granted that we’re still together. I’ll visit him for 10 days in November.

    When does this get hard? I know that sounds callous, but it seems like we get along so wonderfully. Is this just the honeymoon phase? Will it all come crashing down on me when I have to say goodbye when he leaves? I think I’m having a lot of anxiety over nothing. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

    Thanks,

    Pana
    Tags: emotions, meeting, saying goodbye, visits
    #2
    Long distance is different for everyone. Some people find it impossible to do, because they find the phsyical distance too hard. It all depends on the person! In my case, my girlfriend finds it a lot easier than me because she was in a long distance relationship before. We haven't got to the first meeting yet, but I'm trying to not dwell on the leaving so much as I am looking forward to spending loads of time with her! Take each day as it comes, and if in doubt, talk it out!

    (I so didn't mean to make that last bit rhyme, but damn that works! )
    60 days until i fly to texas.
    6th august 2017 - the day i made you mine.

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      #3
      Well I'm 3 years in, I feel like we are still in the honeymoon period. First meeting in just over 3 weeks. This is definitely the deepest emotional connection I've ever felt, we have been through so much together. We have had fights, but I think they were mainly through frustration that there was no date to focus on. It's been a rough ride, but I'm hoping that if we can get through this we can get through anything.

      I hope your first meet goes well!!!

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        #4
        Long distance are different for everyone. I see my boyfriend quite a lot. Three times we had a month long visits. We did not meet online and we don't use a lot of time Skyping. When we see each other ,we usually work and study. After dating two years, we are not in the honeymoon stage any more. I see a lot of his faults and how they will affect our relationship. But the distance means we are all in - there is no way to half be committed. We feel strong because we do this. It makes us feel special.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          I wouldn't say that emotions are more intense because of the distance in particular, but it has a different way of manifesting emotions than when you are CD. Instead of working on both physical and emotional connections, all you have is the emotional. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but that's why I struggle with LD. Coming from someone who has been LD on and off for almost two years, we grow so incredibly much as a couple every time we have visits (tends to be for longer periods of time). It makes me realize that I am missing out on so much being LD regarding our relationship because you can't experience those day to day things. We very rarely fight LD because what is there to fight about!? The only times it really happens for us is when one of us is crabby and it gets taken out on the other one. I'm not trying to say that LD isn't real, because skyping definitely keeps that emotional relationship alive and thriving, but the hard part is knowing that other parts of your relationship that have been built up during visits are getting weaker due to distance.

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            #6
            I think it really depends on the individual. For me, since I'm an emotionally sensitive person, I've found that I've had deep attachments in the past, though whether the feelings have been mutual and have been reciprocated is another matter. In an LDR you learn what your partner is like on a deeper level: can they be trusted when times get rough, can they be loyal, and various, similar things.

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              #7
              I don't think any kind of relationship is inherently superior over the other. As long as the relationship is healthy and makes everyone involved happy, who am I to judge? LDR can be exhausting and painful, but also intense and educational, teach you patience and all that. For me, it worked out, but it's not for everyone and that's okay.

              ~
              It'll take a lot more than words and guns
              A whole lot more than riches and muscle
              The hands of the many must join as one
              And together we'll cross the river

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                #8
                Thank you everyone for your replies. We're down to just 11 days until we get to meet! This forum has been so instrumental in managing expectations and working through frustrations. It really helps to have a support group that knows exactly what I'm feeling.

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                  #9
                  Best of luck with your meeting! just wanted to say it's really cool that you speak a lot because in LDR communication is of highest priority. Just be tolerant, listen to each other and your honeymoon phase may not end

                  Comment

                    #10
                    When does this get hard?

                    Hmm... shortly after I said my first goodbyes, it got a little challenging.

                    Is LDR more intense?

                    Long post about my theory (why sometimes long distance is more intense): https://members.lovingfromadistance....013#post404013

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