Issues in our relationship ..

[XxstrawberryxX]

My boyfriend and I had issues in the past with our relationship, and we would break up and get back together a few times for different reasons. Now whenever my boyfriend thinks about the past he gets really upset and acts really cold towards me. It makes me feel like I'm nothing. He can say some really mean things to me and then apologizes later on when he is no longer upset. He says he can't trust me and and that he thinks i will cheat on him. I would never do that to him, and it hurts me that he can't trust me and to see him hurt over things that happened in the past. I feel really awful, and I feel like I'm getting desperate because I don't know how to prove it to him that I wouldn't cheat on him or hurt him. I feel like I'm getting depressed each time he has his episodes because I'm starting to wish id rather be dead than having to suffer so much and seeing him suffer. I know its wrong to think that way and I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself, but I just feel so desperate and sad because I don't know how to prove it to him.

[Sarah96]

Sounds like you need to end it. You guys have broken up several times before, why? There must've been a good reason for breaking up, but you kept getting back together, why? It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship if he refuses to trust you, and if he's making you feel that bad that you would "rather be dead than having to suffer so much", it's definitely not healthy and you need to get out now. I think both of you can do better by not being in a relationship. Sounds like an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship to me.

[hmrambling]

You started dating in December 2014? And you've had how many break ups?

If it makes you feel like you're nothing, you need to look at why you give him so much power. Why are you allowing him to define how you feel. You need to know your own self worth, and believe in your own self worth, without allowing someone else to define your self worth for you.

The relationship sounds volatile at best with all of the break ups. What can you do to take care of yourself and to not feel desperate? Would you want your daughter in this relationship? Why are you tolerating him treating you mean? What we allow, we condone. You've taught him that it's okay to treat you poorly.

[differentcountries]

Or, you acted bad in the past so he has his reasons not to put his faith in you just yet. Who knows. You give no details as to what you used to fight over.

I think guys dont always realize how hurtful it can be to be to be silent and withdraw. Or some if us girls,for that matter. I had no idea how hurtful I behaved towards my ex until my SO started to treat me that way. It hurt so much. But I told him, in my bordering ultimatums way, "if we are going to be together, you have to talk to me when you are upset. Otherwise I feel so alone and like you dont like me anymore ".

There is no way you can prove yourself to him. But you can ask him to change his words. You can choose to leave the room. You can make a time plan for your patience.

[Miasmata]

What makes you going back to him, OP? If your answers are "I'm scared of being alone" or "It's good sometimes", please sincerely ask yourself why you think you can't do better than someone who makes you feel horrible.

[Irina_Linn]

My last relationship was kinda ill too. My ex used to tell me how he doesn't trust me,how he suspects I would cheat etc., even though I never did anything like that. It was just in his head and it was not normal and he could not (and did not want!) to fight it. So I ended it. You don't have to suffer just because other person has something weird going on in his head

[Unconditional]

I would end it. Plain and simple, he doesn't make you happy.