I don't even have the slightest clue of what I'm doing..

[KatieLadyyy]

I was recommended to this page my a good friend of mine.

Quick back story.
I am almost 23. I'm coming out of a 5 year relationship and a 4 month marriage. I do not play the blame game, but i was faithful. And she wasnt. We have a almost 3 year old. I have not heard from nor seen my daughter in months. No contact with my ex. Nothing. Because i am not bio. But ive been there since pregnancy. I moved 11 hours away from all I've known in life. Emotional hell in my life would be an understatement. To heal. To deal. and I'm doing alright all things considered.

Current.
I had a girl DM me on my instagram. Never even knew that was an option. Well we started talking. Shes..stunning..outer beauty is so easy for the world to see with this girl..but..as i get to know her..i truly believe its her inner beauty overflowing her heart..her mind..her soul..and flowing outside of her inner self. And that is what makes her shine. I swore i was getting catfished. Asked her a few times too..But, we talk constantly. We have phone conversation. Snapchat. She knows everything of my past. And more so than what i disclosed..it gets pretty dark to understand the path I've traveled..but. get this..she thinks it makes me beautiful. Perfect. Amazing. Shows I've lived..and my heart. And my character. Neither of us are looking to jump into ANYTHING. We are 34 hours apart. Damn near opposite sides of the country. I've never even had a ldr. Barely had a few near me relationships. But..i can't get this girl out of my mind.. my heart. she's so amazing..my connection to her is so undeniably strong. Magnetic you could say. Shes..the best person I've ever had the pleasure of getting to knowing. I dont understand having this connection with someone I've never even "met". Ldr are amazing, and show amazing strength. Im saying nothing negative. I just dont even know where to even approach this. We talk about the only thing we'd change about the other is location. I tell her all the time I'm just gonna call her my lady and keep her for as long as her heart allows. and she always says that she couldnt imagine anything better..she says i take her words away with the way i speak to her..but she doesnt understand she is truly the muse my heart has longed for..nothing ive shared she has pushed me away. She calls me perfection. She thanks me for letting her in that apsect of me..she makes me feel beautiful.
Shes the closest feeling of purity..clarity..heaven that I've ever experienced. I don't understand how i feel this way. Ive never even stood in her presence. But i do know..even if this backfires. I dont feel as if i could ever regret this..a not knowing what could have became..that would be the true shame. I've never felt so..understood. appreciated. Valued. Guys..i don't understand whats going on in my world. Am i insane? Is this connection possible? I feel crazy..shes so far away..but i talk to her..or i see her face..and ive never felt as i do in those moments..what the hell is happening in my world??

[lykim]

Welcome to LFAD,

Firstly, sorry to hear about your break up which sounded like complete hell for you, that couldn't have been easy at all. You moved 11 hours away which is a courageous thing to do so well done.

Onto a response to the main part of your post; when I started to read your post I instantly started to think 'CATFISH' as 1. Random beautiful girls don't usually message guys on IG and 2. The description of her sounded like she was pretty attractive. You obviously cleared that up by using SC BUT have you video chatted with the girl at all? That would confirm 100% that it is indeed her.

You are also 34 hours apart...That is a potential stumbling block. What do you do? Step one, arrange to meet up in person to see if what you are describing in your post is real as right now what you have is a fantasy, you don't know each other habits or if you will even get along in person. I know somebody who had been talking to a guy online for 3 years and when they met, she said it felt like they were strangers...Crazy, huh? Step two, if you proceed past step one is to meet again, possibly in the other persons town this time with family/friend meetings etc. so that they can become a major part of your life. Step three, depending on circumstances is moving to one another. Would that be an issue, OP? Anything stopping either of you from moving to each other? You need to think about these things.

You're not insane, to answer your question. Everyone feels this sort of connection at the beginning of a relationship. It is most famously called the 'honeymoon' phase within which sparks fly, you can talk about everything but at one point it will eventually end and then will come the testing parts of a relationship.

OP, some questions -
1. Is there an age difference?
2. What do you do for a living currently?
3. Does she have any past relationships which were potentially nasty or she COULD be
still involved with?
4. Why would this girl randomly message you on IG, seems quite random and crazy.

Best, CC.

[Harlequin]

I also immediately thought catfish. Not that your type of connection can't happen, but because it sounds like the classic setup for one. It's absolutely possible for you to feel this way about someone and not be crazy, so don't worry about that. Instead, make sure you're 100% not being catfished.

I know you said you've snapchatted and spoke on the phone, but has she sent you a video or have you video chatted at all? In general, has she interacted with you in a way that would indicate she is who she says she is? There are ways to go about sending photos through snapchat that weren't taken directly through snapchat. I don't know what her snaps are like in order to be like "that's kind of suspicious" or not. It's important that you video chat with her at least once, and video chat in a way that you can actually SEE her. It's really easy to send videos and pictures of someone, especially if they already have a big internet presence on something like instagram. Is there any reason why you guys haven't skyped yet?

If you're this enamored with her, and assuming she's not a catfish, I think your next step would be figuring out a way to plan a visit. It doesn't even need to be a visit in the immediate future; it could be a couple months in the future if that's what works best for you both. I do want to stress that you shouldn't plan a visit unless you know for sure that she's not a catfish, so it's important that you two really talk it out thoroughly. Who's going to go where, for how long, where will you stay, etc. It's the easiest way to find out if the spark is there in person, but keep in mind that sometimes the first meeting can be really awkward and you might not feel the spark you felt over the phone. My current s/o and I were like that. We had what felt like super amazing chemistry talking through text and on the phone and stuff, but when we finally met up in person for the first time, it was very "eh". The second visit is when that spark picked back up, and we've been fine ever since.

Overall, I do wish you the best of luck, and I'm so sorry about the hardships you had to go through with your ex.

[KatieLadyyy]

I thank both of you tremendously to take the time to comment. She is gorgeous. And we've both been honest about our past relationships. Neither end was sunshine and roses. But we threw it out there. We have talked via video, and i mean shes specifically said my name, or i will text her while we are video chatting, and she will talk to me about what i sent. Like..shes real. I dont understand how..but she is. Like shes told me "flaws" about herself..but im the kind of person that that makes you..you. Ya know? Like what the world sees as imperfections is what makes a soul real..and beautiful. And she has the same outlook..like I've told her things that would make a person run for the hills..or at least what i would think. But she understands. She appreciates. She says it shows I've lived..ive survived..and i seriously have just never experienced someone like her in my life. And to answer your question I'm a manager at a restaurant. She said she messaged me because of the things i shared..she understood. She related to. That i seemed amazing. And she just wanted to get to know me. Never intended to have such a connection with her. It kinda freaks both of us out. But..we both don't want to just walk away from it cause it's different and difficult..cause its amazing. so we just keep talking. Asking questions. Getting to know each other.

[KatieLadyyy]

And honestly. I thought catfish for the longest. I really did. Asked her a few times too. But shes real. I understand i don't know her day to day habits. The way she eats. The stuff you learn with a close distance thing. But i cant help but want to learn. I know the honeymoon stage is real. And aware that is whats going on..but even at that..the way she accepts things. Her outlook. Her views. Its amazing. Its so hard to put into words.

[lykim]

When are you planning on meeting for real?

[KatieLadyyy]

Well i just started my job not too long ago, and i can't just up and leave work. So..i figured if we are still actively talking by the time i get vacation time at the beginning of next year, maybe sometime after that. February or march-ish. I mean, realistically i understand she could Just fall off the face of the earth, which would suck. But..IF THAT DOESN'T happen, i would definitely go meet her.

[Harlequin]

Well i just started my job not too long ago, and i can't just up and leave work. So..i figured if we are still actively talking by the time i get vacation time at the beginning of next year, maybe sometime after that. February or march-ish. I mean, realistically i understand she could Just fall off the face of the earth, which would suck. But..IF THAT DOESN'T happen, i would definitely go meet her.

I'm glad she's not a catfish! I also think this is a good way to go about it. Save up for it, make sure you can get time off, and then do your thing. We're only a few months away from next year, so that time will fly.