Doubt, again

[glasspaper]

So we have set a date for our first time meet up, which would be on november 21.

He has been very busy with his work since august, and this crazy busy season will usually end up in late october.

I didn't really believe it at first, cause it's the third times of him said he gonna come over. He told me about it each years, that he would be here on the fall, it's been 3 years now and he haven't ever made it real.

Though this year sounds more serious, he said that he got more money and all he gotta do is just get his work done till this october and then get some vacation in my country with me.

I kept asking if he is all serious and is it a joke? Then he convinced me that he is serious and not joking.

So ok, i'm trying to believe it, again. But the doubts are still there. I got so many what ifs.

He doesn't have a passport and hasn't applied one yet, there's no tickets booking or hotel hunting activities yet, and it's 47 days to go till the date.

And i'm here, got myself ready to pull out my saving just to set some things up for his visit. But i'm not sure that it would really happens.

A few hours ago, i sent him a screenshot of my phone screen showing countdown days to our first meeting. But, he didn't say nothing about it but saying that he gonna sleep and said good night.

I'm gonna do something related to his visit tomorrow, and gonna put some $$$ for that.
But now i don't feel that sure about it.

Am i overthinking?
Or is it still possible to get a US passport 2 weeks prior the travel?

[differentcountries]

What is it about US people don't having passports?

anyway...he is being very late. 1 1/2 months before an international travel to a location he has not been, he should know he has the vacation time, he should have booked passports, tickets and visa if he needs it. I guess you can help him look for the hotel, but everything else he needs to be doing for himself. And starting now.

Hold your horses, don't buy anything before he shows you he means businiss.

[glasspaper]

Hey differentcountries, yeah he doesn't have any passport. He keeps telling me that he gonna get one, since like three years ago, but nope. I haven't seen he ever applied for it.
The main reason was money, work and he wasn't able to go to the city nearby cause he couldn't drive (his driver lisence is suspended, too).

And now he still all telling me stuff that he gonna come here. Yet, i even haven't heard him mentioning about the hotel reservation stuff. He checked the tickets, and found a good deal when we were talking on the phone, said that he might be gonna book it the next day. Buuut, still haven't heard any progress about it

All he's been saying every single day is how very busy he is that he couldn't do anything more than work, eat and sleep each days.

I understand it that it's a busy months for him, and he will get a long holiday after this craziness, which would be in a couple weeks.

But idk, i actually not really sure about him being serious about the visit. But i do wanna meet him so bad.

Is it fine if i ask him, again about his plan? Like his follow up on it?
Asking about the actual booking of flight and accomodation and stuff?
I just wanna be sure that he's not fooling me around this time. Even though i know that he is darn busy now, and might be doesn't have much time for a long talk and stuff.
What do you think?

[differentcountries]

Sure, he is busy. But he needs to do these things, otherwise his travel is not going to happen. It is as simple as that.

I would really nag about the plan. It is nice that he has looked into ticket prices, but he needs to know when he has the time off - and actually buy the tickets. And do the other things. If he doesn't have a car to go to the next city, use public transportation, taxi, Uber, ask a friend to drive him. If he wants it, he needs to make it happen.

[TaraMarie]

Don't spend any money! Passports can take MONTHS in the US. He needs to apply for one immediately, and pay extra to have it expedited!

[glasspaper]

Yeah, thats whats on my mind too, i actually just looked into the USA passport procedure stuff and it does take like 4-6 weeks to get one. Even when it's an expedited one, the processing time would be around 3 weeks ish.

I just sent him some questions about it, yes i actually pretty afraid to come off as nagging. But, whatever.

I mean, it has been 3 years and i just can't only holding on his words, right?I need to see some real action, if he ever wants it to be real, like he always saying.

We'll see what he gonna say and do later when he wakes up and read my text. I'll update it here

Thanks guys for your responses and insights!

[R&R]

I applied for my passport in July and still don't have it. (Of course, they needed additional info for a name change that I have to send in.) I should have it by mid-November.

I can't believe you've been going through this for 3 years. If he was going to come see you, he'd have his passport, his flight booked, a hotel room ready. He's just been leading you along. You've been hoping and putting your trust in him but his words and actions don't match up. If he didn't make it this time, I'd be all done.

differentcountries, a lot of people in the US don't get a passport unless we plan on traveling outside of the country. We used to be able to get into Mexico and Canada with just our drivers license until a couple of years ago. We don't need it for any other purpose and it's a waste to spend the money if you don't need it. The USA is HUGE and we have plenty of places to travel here without needing to leave it. I'm almost 45 and still haven't been to all 50 states yet, and that's one of my goals.

[Mr Gravy]

At this point I wouldn't worry about coming off as nagging. He's left you hanging twice and from your initial post I can't tell whether he had any sort of excuse for not visiting after all.
It is perfectly understandable that you are disappointed and want to meet him after three long years.

[differentcountries]

differentcountries, a lot of people in the US don't get a passport unless we plan on traveling outside of the country. We used to be able to get into Mexico and Canada with just our drivers license until a couple of years ago.

Makes sense if you used to be able to go to neighbouing countries without a passport. We can now go to the EU countries without a passport, but it is sort of adviced against.

[Ella85]

My boyfriend doesn't have a passport yet and we have booked him flights for march. He gets paid today and he is excited saying 'I'm applying for my passport this pay check'. They take 4-6 weeks to process unless expedited and then it takes around 2 weeks I think, but that costs about $50 extra. My boyfriend is planning to have his passport by the end of November, well in advance of his March departure date and is taking about saving money back for the trip each month starting from the following pay check. After 3 years I feel it's been too long.
We met early on in our relationship because we felt we needed that for it to work for us. It was only 4 months and I was making plans to visit after 2 months. I've been twice already, this will be my 3rd time and he is coming march. We've been together a year this month. I feel like you've set yourself up for heartbreak letting it go on this long when he has let you down every year. I wouldn't pay for anything to do until he is there. What if he cancels on you and you have wasted the money? If he doesn't come this time I'd seriously consider if I wanted to stay in a relationship like that.
It's your call, but nagging at this stage is something I wouldn't be concerned about doing.

[glasspaper]

I applied for my passport in July and still don't have it. (Of course, they needed additional info for a name change that I have to send in.) I should have it by mid-November.

I can't believe you've been going through this for 3 years. If he was going to come see you, he'd have his passport, his flight booked, a hotel room ready. He's just been leading you along. You've been hoping and putting your trust in him but his words and actions don't match up. If he didn't make it this time, I'd be all done.

Hey, thats kinda long time to get a passport, like 4 months ish. Geez.
Now i'm getting nervous about his passport stuff.
What about the suspended driver lisence? would it be a trouble then?
I read on the procedure that you have to submit a Primary Identification to apply for a passport, and one of the following is a Fully-valid Driver's License.
Well it isn't necessary to submit the driver license though. He could instead just submit his other IDs for it, but i just wondering if it would be an issue?

[sasad]

It depends in the US. If you apply before holidays and summer, it can take longer. I was able to get mine and 3 kids in less then a month. I also live in a small town and didn't have to make an appointment at the post on flock. Just walked in.
Not have a license. That can make it a lot harder if he doesn't have other primary ID.
Why is his license suspended? That would bother me a little bit

[glasspaper]

At this point I wouldn't worry about coming off as nagging. He's left you hanging twice and from your initial post I can't tell whether he had any sort of excuse for not visiting after all.
It is perfectly understandable that you are disappointed and want to meet him after three long years.

Ahh yeah, i was kinda worry about being all nagging and stuff. Knowing that he is all busy.
And yes, it's been three years and all i heard is he saying that he's coming, but never really see the real follow up on it.
So this time, i don't think i wanna waste my time waiting for nothing no more.
If he won't ever make a real move, or just been fooling me around with all those hopes and all, i will be done with him completely i guess

[glasspaper]

My boyfriend doesn't have a passport yet and we have booked him flights for march. He gets paid today and he is excited saying 'I'm applying for my passport this pay check'. They take 4-6 weeks to process unless expedited and then it takes around 2 weeks I think, but that costs about $50 extra. My boyfriend is planning to have his passport by the end of November, well in advance of his March departure date and is taking about saving money back for the trip each month starting from the following pay check. After 3 years I feel it's been too long.
We met early on in our relationship because we felt we needed that for it to work for us. It was only 4 months and I was making plans to visit after 2 months. I've been twice already, this will be my 3rd time and he is coming march. We've been together a year this month. I feel like you've set yourself up for heartbreak letting it go on this long when he has let you down every year. I wouldn't pay for anything to do until he is there. What if he cancels on you and you have wasted the money? If he doesn't come this time I'd seriously consider if I wanted to stay in a relationship like that.
It's your call, but nagging at this stage is something I wouldn't be concerned about doing.

Finger crossed! Good for you guys, i hope that your bf would get his passport soon or right on the estimated date.
And yes, i have sent him some nagging questions about it and waiting for his response that maybe will take a few hours since he is asleep now.
I'm pretty nervous about it now, i don't wanna think bad things but my gut feeling saying something weird, idk.

[glasspaper]

It depends in the US. If you apply before holidays and summer, it can take longer. I was able to get mine and 3 kids in less then a month. I also live in a small town and didn't have to make an appointment at the post on flock. Just walked in.
Not have a license. That can make it a lot harder if he doesn't have other primary ID.
Why is his license suspended? That would bother me a little bit

Is it an expedited one? or the regular passport application one?
Less than a month sounds really awesome.
So his driver lisence has been suspended caused by drunk driving thing 6 years ago.
And he is planning to get it back soon.
Though he also telling me about get his driver lisence back each years too, and it's still all suspended now.
It's because the money issue thing, that he couldn't able to pay the fines stuff.

But he said that he got the money now, more than he ever had before.
And this time gonna be real.
But idk