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    #1

    How to deal with this....

    I am home after a wonderful 10 days with my SO.

    Leaving was hard but I dealt with it ok! I barely cried at the airport! I had a little weep on the plane but since I've been home I am miserable.

    I could not FaceTime with him when I got back, every time I dialled I hung up because I was just crying too much. We have spoken on FaceTime mad audio but each time I have cried afterwards. This is so so hard. It's difficult for me to keep myself occupied as I am a single parent and my kids are young so go to bed pretty early. I am stuck in the house and the evenings seem so long and lonely...

    We plan to see each other again as soon as we can but the reality of the situation is it's not going to be till at least spring 2016. I am so down, I know once we have a date set I will be ok but for now I am suffering badly.

    Everything is so different now. Being with him for that short time was utterly magical, we got on so well, I never thought relationships like that were possible. I miss him sooooooo much!!!! I know I need to pull myself together but I really am finding this incredibly hard. How can I pull myself out of this? I feel like I'm going to fall into depression, I really don't want that to happen...
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    #2
    I know it's hard but try focus on the fact you've got a wonderful man in your life. And you WILL see him again. Some people here are still waiting to see their SO, or are having visa issues. So think about how lucky you are to have had a great time with your SO. Have you thought about writing him a letter? It'll keep your thoughts together and it's something for him which will give you something to focus on.

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      #3
      Take it one day at a time, give it a week or two and you will see that the pain will be milder. Try to set a "missing him" period, 10-15 minutes every day that you will allow yourself to miss him and reminiscing all the time you spent together but carry on for the rest of the day trying not to think of him. I promise you it will get better! The spring of 2016 is 5 months away, you can make it

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        #4
        I'm just so happy to read that you've met him in person, face to face. It's been two years now and I've never met mine, and wont until next year (hoping for that but student life is hard and poor, but we're trying to aim for it). We've recently been talking serious about meeting but no date or time is set, only year 2016. I'm menage my days to plan what to do but once when you have nothing more to plan it stoped. And now I'm only waiting patiently and thinking that everything I do, every day is one step closer to him.

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          #5
          I'm glad your visit went so well!!

          At the beginning, when it was tougher to leave him, I would allow myself one day to have that "wow this really sucks" day. After that, not allowed. Time to put myself back into the swing of my life that I have at home. I have kids (older kids, but still kids), friends, work and other things that needed my focus and attention. I reminded myself that I put myself into this situation and relationship knowing full well that being apart could be hard but that he and us are worth the distance. You have to focus on the positives and what makes this worth it. You have to get yourself back to your routine that you had before your visit. Your attitude about this is going to go a long ways.
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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            #6
            Thanks everyone.

            It's getting easier but I wasn't quite prepared for how painful this would be. He is dealing with it too, it's so hard, we had a big fight last night and I was absolutely heartbroken... I have literally never felt so awful in my whole life as it was my fault and he reacted in a way I never thought he would. We are ok now, we have both apologised and he explained that he's struggling too...

            I just can't wait until we have a firm date for when he can visit me. I know then I will feel a whole lot better.

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              #7
              Keep reminding yourself of the things you have to live for! Invest time and thought into your kids, a job, hobbies, school, whatever it is that can keep you busy. Give yourself more thought!! Depression has tried to have it's way with me way too many times. Read my newest blog post, it may help you see things from a different perspective.

              https://287miles.wordpress.com/2015/...irst-semester/

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