I guess this is it.
I don't exactly know where to post this, first meetings, or what.
For anyone who kept up with all of my nonsence posting, the last two weeks I spent meeting my SO for the first time. We were both super excited, and I guess I had an idea in my head of how things would go. When I met her at the airport, it seemed perfect. We held hands, as she walked us to the car, and inside we talked about the flight and everything while we went back to the hotel. We had our first kiss in bed, and went straight to sleep.
As the days went on, it became increasingly obvious that something wasn't right. While I love affection, she didn't. My constant want for kisses and hugs got annoying for her, and she started pushing me away. She was always sat on her phone, on games and Tumblr to fill the silence, because after a few days together, we didn't have much to say. I met her friends and family, and they were all amazing - and if I'm honest, I felt like she had a lot more in common with them than she ever did with me.
Towards the end of the holiday, I started to message my best friends, saying that I was sure that she was going to dump me. They told me I was being dumb, but I had the most sickening feeling in my gut.
I got home yesterday morning, and when she woke up later that day, sure enough, she broke things off. She said we needed different people. I needed someone who would pay me more attention, and give me the affection I wanted, and she needed someone who was okay with space. We didn't mesh like we expected to in those months waiting up to meeting. I tried fighting for our relationship, but at the end of the day I agree with her. Could I really be with someone who makes me feel unloved so often? And could I expect her to stay with someone who makes her feel like a failure of a girlfriend most of the time?
I know this is pretty long, but I guess this is me just getting my feelings off my chest. She still wants to be friends, but I'm going to give her the space that she needs, no matter how hard it is, and I'm still fighting back the urge to ask her to reconsider. I guess sometimes these things just don't work out?
For anyone who kept up with all of my nonsence posting, the last two weeks I spent meeting my SO for the first time. We were both super excited, and I guess I had an idea in my head of how things would go. When I met her at the airport, it seemed perfect. We held hands, as she walked us to the car, and inside we talked about the flight and everything while we went back to the hotel. We had our first kiss in bed, and went straight to sleep.
As the days went on, it became increasingly obvious that something wasn't right. While I love affection, she didn't. My constant want for kisses and hugs got annoying for her, and she started pushing me away. She was always sat on her phone, on games and Tumblr to fill the silence, because after a few days together, we didn't have much to say. I met her friends and family, and they were all amazing - and if I'm honest, I felt like she had a lot more in common with them than she ever did with me.
Towards the end of the holiday, I started to message my best friends, saying that I was sure that she was going to dump me. They told me I was being dumb, but I had the most sickening feeling in my gut.
I got home yesterday morning, and when she woke up later that day, sure enough, she broke things off. She said we needed different people. I needed someone who would pay me more attention, and give me the affection I wanted, and she needed someone who was okay with space. We didn't mesh like we expected to in those months waiting up to meeting. I tried fighting for our relationship, but at the end of the day I agree with her. Could I really be with someone who makes me feel unloved so often? And could I expect her to stay with someone who makes her feel like a failure of a girlfriend most of the time?
I know this is pretty long, but I guess this is me just getting my feelings off my chest. She still wants to be friends, but I'm going to give her the space that she needs, no matter how hard it is, and I'm still fighting back the urge to ask her to reconsider. I guess sometimes these things just don't work out?
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