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**MissButterfly** · October 30, 2015, 07:04 AM

I don't really see the need for this thread, as your one from last week is pretty much the same and people were giving you very good advice there. Especially with her going through a divorce, you need to just give her the space she needs to figure out her thoughts and be there to support her. No, being clingy isn't going to help, just communicate like adults. If you want to know where things stand between you, have a serious talk and don't start guessing. If you have been sending her sweet messages and she isn't reciprocating any of it, chances are she's just not in a place where she wants to think about your relationship seriously at the moment. But like I said, the only way to find that out is to talk to her. However, if the space has made you feel so much better about yourself I think it's good to re-evaluate what you want out of this relationship yourself too!

**R&R** · October 30, 2015, 07:09 AM

Originally posted by TheArtist View Post

I've been dating a girl since March and we're amazing together, but for the past three weeks or so she hasn't been returning my texts. I managed to speak to her about it last week and apologised for being so smothering when I know she's busy. The line she said to me was that she wants me in her life but she doesn't know to what capacity yet. I'm guessing that it's kind of hanging by a thread at the minute.

I've been working really hard on giving her a lot of space this week and we've barely spoken at all. I have noticed that she's been posting a lot of songs on Facebook that contain lyrics about missing people, still loving people, and 'always being with me', which we always did as a kind of secret message to each other. I may be reading too much into that.

Anyway, the space has given me chance to get control of my emotions and I'm more confident and happier in myself now, so I'm wondering, how do I go about stirring up a little attraction again?

One week is not a lot of space, especially given everything she is dealing with right now. Her main focus right now is probably getting through her divorce. If you start coming in again trying to get her to focus on you and trying to get her back into a relationship, it's going to cause the exact opposite. She's said she doesn't know what capacity she wants you and your relationship to be, so give her time to figure it out.

I know it's hard, but you really have to step back. You need to let her get through her personal issues she's dealing with right now. You need to find other things in your life to focus on.

**TheArtist** · October 30, 2015, 07:27 AM

Yes, thanks everyone. I'm probably just a bit too keen here. Thank you!!!

**differentcountries** · October 30, 2015, 07:28 AM

You might feel easier if you think of this like a strategy for business. There was an original deal with someone, but suddenly it is off the table (lets say the financial sceme fell through). Telling the buyer you still want the original deal is not helpful - the buyer just don't have the money at this point. You need to let the buyer find out how much money it can get before any deal can be made. You need to back off, mourn a bit and do something different for a while, perhaps months. I know that sounds cold, but if you don't grasp the real situation (her divorse) you are not going to help anybody.

**TheArtist** · October 30, 2015, 07:29 AM

Thank you everyone, I'll close this thread! I'm doing it again, aren't I!

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I've been clingy, how can I attract her again?

I've been clingy, how can I attract her again?

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