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    #1

    Well..

    So my SO has been denied the visitor visa to come here..He did really well, but according to the interviewer, his motives for coming here outweigh his evidence for going home. In other words, they believed that he would stay in the US illegally. Apparently coming back to a job, going back t college, and helping his parents out with their family business is not enough to show that he will go back to his country. The interviewer said he can reapply as many times as he wants, it's not going to penalize him. We're really torn up about it though. It looks like we're going to be spending our 4 year anniversary alone, as well as Christmas and birthdays.

    I feel a lot of emotions right now. It was worse last night, but I've processed some of them. His family offered to let me stay over there with them again (I guess that means they like me:P) which I may consider. Maybe it's just not the right time for him to come here. My SO and are looking at meeting in another country. He has family in other countries, and plus, that gives me an excuse to travel. It's just ideas at the moment, nothing set in stone. This means we're only looking into, so please, no lectures about it.

    "When one door closes, another door opens." I'm not going to dwell on the fact that he can't come here because there's nothing we can do. It's just not the right time and I'm not going to force it. I've come to realize that not every plan will work out the way I want (I'm the type of person who plans out everything) Time apart now just means that when we finally do see each other, it will be even more special. Even though the situation sucks, this is a good thing. Everything will fall into place soon, we just have to wait a little longer

    Thanks for everyone's support, it means a lot <3
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    #2
    You sound very optimistic! Hold tight to that!
    You're right, it will be even more special when you guys are reunited!!

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      #3
      What a huge disappointment! I'm glad you're doing your best to look forward, but don't forget to allow yourself to be mad and disappointed, there's nothing wrong with that. Just be sure not to waste energy on dwelling on it, you can use it much more productively elsewhere. Best of luck to you both!!

      ~
      It'll take a lot more than words and guns
      A whole lot more than riches and muscle
      The hands of the many must join as one
      And together we'll cross the river

      Comment

        #4
        I'm so sorry that happened! The American Visa procedure is baffling to me, I'm dreading having to go through it when it comes time for me to close the distance. Like how do they decide these things? What else would they have needed to be convinced he wasn't going to try to stay?

        Way to keep your head up and a happy outlook, though. You're right, opportunity will strike in some other way!

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by ChloChlo View Post
          I'm so sorry that happened! The American Visa procedure is baffling to me, I'm dreading having to go through it when it comes time for me to close the distance. Like how do they decide these things? What else would they have needed to be convinced he wasn't going to try to stay?

          Way to keep your head up and a happy outlook, though. You're right, opportunity will strike in some other way!
          They base their decision off of how someone can convince them that they will go back to their country. A person has to show that they have strong ties back home. Honestly, I don't know what else they wanted from him. He told them that is family bought a new business and that he needs to go back to help them out with it. He also wants to finish college (he took time off due to complications he was having) I personally would think that he wasn't going to stay illegally if he had a job and school to go back to. We're both confused as to why that was not enough evidence for them.

          Thanks ChloChlo I'm trying to act mature in this situation. Sitting around and moping is not going to get me anywhere. I would rather my SO and I work on meeting in another country, than being depressed over the fact that he can't come here (it would be a nice vacation for both of us as well if we did that) If we meet in another country, I'm going to bring my mom with me so she can meet him. The whole point of him coming here was for him to meet my family BEFORE I left for Australia. It doesn't feel right to leave me life behind over here if he has not met those closest to me. A new opportunity will come up, and we will be prepared for it.

          Comment

            #6
            You're acting very mature and level-headed about this, despite the 2nd disappointment. That's the best way to be in a situation like this, most certainly with optimistic. I wish you both the best of luck.

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              #7
              Negative attitudes create defeated minds, at least you're turning it into a positive. Keep the positivity going and you'll be ok.

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                #8
                Such a disappointment, I am so sorry for you! The best you can do is what you're doing at the moment - stay positive. Meeting in a different country might sound ridicoulous but it actually may be a good idea. Me and my S/O "use" a city which is halfway between me and her (we do it now due to school, we can visit each other only when we have holiday) for meetings and it's not so bad. Besides it's a beautiful city. I think you're really mature about the whole situation. Wish you lots of luck and may the time pass quickly for you until you reunite again.

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                  #9
                  I am sad to hear that. I guess that his age + being unemployed was the reason for the denial. If you could travel to him that might be best. If you are going to meet up in another country I assume that would easily be costly for you, but you will know more about your options when you look into them. I am sure you will find out something, good luck
                  Last edited by differentcountries; November 4, 2015, 02:53 PM.
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                    I am sad to hear that. I guess that his age + being unemployed was the reason for the denial. If you could travel to him that might be best. If you are going to meet up in another country I assume that would easily be costly for you, but you will know more about your options when you look into them. I am sure you will find out something, good luck
                    He's not unemployed. He has a job now and has a job to go back to. It could be his age, since he is only 20. But like I said, there's nothing we can do about it, so we'll look at all our other options. I will be going back over there, but not for another few months. It will all work out soon.

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