What did she say?

[neddrick98]

Okay so i'm not sure where this post should go, and even whether LFaD is the right place, but I know you guys are always great at responses and I can't think of another forum where I can trust everybody so much! So if this is out of place, i'm very sorry, and please let me know where it should go (if anywhere!)!

Anyway...

Scenario:
Charlie is leaving his company and heading abroad. Naturally, a big leaving party is organised with his 30 or so colleagues.
It's Friday, and everybody gets suitably smashed on too many drinks, and the party goes on until about 2am and involves numerous bars.
Charlie spends a lot of his night talking to Becky, his colleague. They have a great laugh and make fun of each other. Charlie tells Becky he will buy her drinks all night, but not to tell their colleague (and Becky's friend) Georgia, because Charlie doesn't really like Georgia. Becky agrees and doesn't spend more than a few coins on drinks all night! Score! Charlie and Becky get progressively physically closer as the night draws on, to the point where speaking into each others ears (it's a club, remember, too much noise!) the stubble on Charlie's cheek can be felt by Becky. Towards the end of the night Becky wants to speak to Charlie in private, so they head out to the courtyard and discuss, among other things, Charlie's plans and back-up plans for this big life change. It feels like only 5 minutes, but according to their colleagues, Georgia, John, and Jen, they were gone half an hour. Georgia even went looking for them and couldn't see them, so people start speculating, even though they were in plain sight the whole time (silly drunkards!). The night is a huge success and everybody suffers the next day.

The following Friday, John, Jen, Georgia, Becky, and a couple of other colleagues, are out drinking again, coincidentally at the last bar they were in the previous Friday (the one with the patio). Georgia and Becky are talking between themselves, as are John and Jen.
Jen and John are speculating about the non-platonic feelings that Becky might have for Charlie.
Jen says something to John, and John replies 'not if he likes her too'.

Question: What did Jen say to John??

Hopefully this all makes sense enough!!!

[hmrambling]

I have no idea what Jen said to John, nor would I put much energy into trying to mind-read or worry about what others think.

Instead of worrying about hear-say, I would talk to Becky directly if I were Charlie.

[differentcountries]

So, in this scenario you or your local friend is Georgia?

It doesn't really matter. I have friends who I feel nothing for romantically, I have talke to them alone for hours, probably have felt the stumble on their cheeks and taken their free drinks too (although it is super expensive to buy people drinks, so even friends don't do that a lot here), I am very physical with my close friends although in 99 % of the cases it is hugely platonic. I have also had people I have felt something insensly mutual romantical feelings with, although we have probably never even spent 2 minutes alone together, in that case "we can't be alone, it is too insense" seems only to highten the sexual tention.

The sad truth is that it doesn't matter what some person says, the answer is in the air, or rather in the felt chemestry.

Also, in this scenario, Charlie is leaving their common workplace and even the country, so unless they take inititive to stay in touch, whatever romantic crush they might have may soon fade over the distance if the relation is not worked upon.

[neddrick98]

I have no idea what Jen said to John, nor would I put much energy into trying to mind-read or worry about what others think.

Instead of worrying about hear-say, I would talk to Becky directly if I were Charlie.

But this assumes Charlie feels the same way about Becky as Becky feels about Charlie, right?
And if Charlie has left the country already but is back for next weekend?

[R&R]

It sounds like Becky needs to be a big girl and talk to Charlie about it if she wants to know how he feels. Everyone else needs to mind their own business.

[neddrick98]

It sounds like Becky needs to be a big girl and talk to Charlie about it if she wants to know how he feels. Everyone else needs to mind their own business.

Hah yes, this is very true, although would you have a different opinion if you knew Charlie and Becky were both in long term (5+ years) relationships?

[neddrick98]

So, in this scenario you or your local friend is Georgia?

It doesn't really matter. I have friends who I feel nothing for romantically, I have talke to them alone for hours, probably have felt the stumble on their cheeks and taken their free drinks too (although it is super expensive to buy people drinks, so even friends don't do that a lot here), I am very physical with my close friends although in 99 % of the cases it is hugely platonic. I have also had people I have felt something insensly mutual romantical feelings with, although we have probably never even spent 2 minutes alone together, in that case "we can't be alone, it is too insense" seems only to highten the sexual tention.

The sad truth is that it doesn't matter what some person says, the answer is in the air, or rather in the felt chemestry.

Also, in this scenario, Charlie is leaving their common workplace and even the country, so unless they take inititive to stay in touch, whatever romantic crush they might have may soon fade over the distance if the relation is not worked upon.

That's true, he's leaving. But if it turns out he's going to come back and work remotely? And then he comes back for the weekend and invites everybody, Becky included, out for drinks?

[differentcountries]

It is easy to focus on scenarios like these when the answer is that we don't know. Sometimes people develop feelings, sometimes it is mutual. Becky is free to crush on Charlie for a shorter or longer time if that's how she feels. Not much will happen unless Charlie wants it to.

[R&R]

Hah yes, this is very true, although would you have a different opinion if you knew Charlie and Becky were both in long term (5+ years) relationships?

Nope. It's still nobody else's business but theirs to sort out. If they want to be with each other instead of their partners, it's up to them to decide that and then break off with their partners so they can be together.

I read this and all it reminded me of what a bunch of middle school kids "Do you think he likes her?" "Do you think he likes me?" "My friends going to ask his friend to ask him what he thinks about me." A bunch of childish behavior from adults.