To know or not to know

[All4114All]

How do you honestly know...what you are feeling is love...or you just are in love for the sake of saying you have someone to love..

[sasad]

If you have to ask, then you already know that answer....

[ChloChlo]

Sasad is right, and I know it sounds corny, but the cliché is true - you'll know it when you feel it. Trust yourself.

[differentcountries]

I don't know, I fall in love easily and stay in love, I never even asked myself that question. I never felt a need to say I have someone to love, just wanted to share my joy of the love that I have....

[Mims27]

You just KNOW.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Well contrary to what others have said, I didn't know. When I met my ex, we both were dying to find someone and be in love and we made that happen for ourselves. Did we love each other? Sure. We're we in love? Nope. I didn't know what that was like until I met my SO. I had no clue that I wasn't in love with him until after things were done. I had my heart broken and it sure felt like I loved him then. I loved him enough that I was miserable without him. Gradually I learned that I wasn't miserable without HIM, but the though of him. We did everything together, so it was so lonely without him. But in all honesty, I was more in love with my SO at 4 months than I was at the end of my year relationship with my ex.

So my answer to you is sometimes you don't know and have to learn the hard way that you aren't really in love, but love the idea of it. The good news is that you can learn from those experiences and identify instantly when love is real in the future. And yes, I have questioned whether my love for my SO is real or not. I think that's only human. That's especially true since LD means that you basically have to start over every time you're in person again. It always takes me a long time to feel like "us" again. But at the end of the day, the fact that no matter what situation we're in, I love him more at the end of it tells me all that I need to know.

[Mims27]

^^Aren't you saying exactly what we are in the end, though? When you met your SO you KNEW.
I was with one person before my wife, it wasn't love. We were friends more than anything else. We never even slept togheter. But when I met my SO, I KNEW. Therefore you just know...lol

[farandaway]

If you don't know when you are happy, you sure know when some insecurities rise. When it hurts like hell, it's love. When you miss like crazy, it's love. And one thing is when you young and you get married and all is well you may not feel as strong a connection as when you are older and you don't jump into people as easily. When it still hits you hard, it's love.

[WarwickGuy]

I have to agree with MissingMyDutchLove. I found myself before thinking I may be in love, but with my current SO, it feels completely different (and wonderful) to anything I've felt before.

Like other times you've felt something, you do miss the person, but with the one you have fallen in love with its different. It may hurt to miss them, but I find the lows are lower and the highs when you get to see them, so much more unbelievable (in the best of ways).

Some people, I think, do try and force themselves into falling in love. But you'll know that that isn't your case if you find yourself after not attempting to find love (if not rejecting it as I did a little) grow feelings for that person and find yourself not with a dependence on them, but an inter-dependence with them. Sorry if that sounded cliché at all.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

^^Aren't you saying exactly what we are in the end, though? When you met your SO you KNEW.
I was with one person before my wife, it wasn't love. We were friends more than anything else. We never even slept togheter. But when I met my SO, I KNEW. Therefore you just know...lol

Yes, I suppose we are saying the same thing in the end. I guess my point was that you don't know until you know. And that sometimes you think you know until to learn later that you never knew at all. Getting a little too philosophical here! haha