I been in a long distance with relationship and we have visited each other face-to-face. Now I have people telling me this relationship won't last because they don't trust him, but I do. I meet his family and he proposed to me when we meet because he never been love the same and also we both felt a connection. I'm 23 years old with 3 amazing children. The only support I have are my family and they're coming to visit his family and friends with me next year. My friends and their family have negativity comments towards our relationship and I had to distance myself because I don't need that attitude since I feel alone as it is with him living in Ghana. We already know about the samming and he doesn't ask for money like people are always thinking. Instead when we meet I wasn't even sure I would fly by myself but I did because I belive in God, my heart, and love at first sight so I followed them. I had people saying I'm stupid because he just want to move to the US. Actually, if people meet him and see his lifestyle they would know they only want a better life. See I know he not using me because at first we talked about me and kids moving there to live so I can start my own business in the human service field but we were worrying about my children adapting to the environment. We been together for a year now. He sends me money to help save with my money and don't ask for it back, he is helping me with his process paying for it, and he help me pay for my trip does that show he using me? His family love. The only problem I'm having since I came out of an abusive relationship that first started off good and than ended with me going suicidal and I lost half my life with him. So it's hard for me to love my fiance the same way he loves me without bringing up my past. So I need advise on how to love him the same way he loves me?
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Maybe its only me that can't get past the fact that you're 23 with three kids, but if I were a guy from africa there would definitely be some ulterior motives in dating a chick from the states with three kids. -
We don't know the hearts of anyone. And you are asking us about yours. It sounds like you were hurt badly in the past. I remember that after breaking up with my ex, who was not abusive but left me in a rather bad way, I was emotionally cooler for a while. I needed time to open up. Give yourself that time. Give your kids time. Use your friends and family, see if they trust him. Then you will know.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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There's really no need to get judgmental about the number of kids someone has, or assume that because someone is from Africa they are only out to get some advantage. From what the OP has posted, what proof do you have that he is using her?Originally posted by Jenna View Post
OP, I agree with differentcountries to give yourself time. If your fiancé knows your past issues, then he should be understanding that it will take you some time to adjust to being in a healthier relationship. Do not pressure yourself to love him "a certain way," but do focus on healing from the past and things should get better.
Another thing is that maybe you are feeling this way because things are a bit rushed - proposing on the first meeting (if I understood it correctly). I know in an LDR there's the desire to move faster to close the distance at all cost, but it's OK to slow down and not rush into anything. Spend more time talking and getting emotionally comfortable in the relationship.So, here you are
too foreign for home
too foreign for here.
Never enough for both.
Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora BluesComment
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Jenna, what gives you the right to assume things about the OP and ALL African men?
I also agree with Ejoriah and differentcountries. Take things slow. I know that visits can be expensive (especially from the US) and not as frequent, but considering your past experience, there is no need to rush things. Talk to your fiancé about a pace that you feel comfortable with, so that you can move forward together. It's fantastic that you're family will be coming with you next year, too.
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