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How long is too long?

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    #1

    How long is too long?

    We've been together for 4.5 years, and haven't been able to close the distance in the four years that we've been apart. Now he's getting a job/schooling offer that will make it even harder to see each other and maybe make the LDR extend 3 more years. As much as I love him, we've discussed marraige, and we've dreamed about the future, how long is too long?

    7 years of distance just seems excessive. How much longer must I endure? I'm begging the universe to please make it stop!!! I love him! Enough already! I just really can't see myself walking away, but can't see living another day like this, much less 3 years.
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    #2
    There's really no way that anyone else can put a number on your relationship.

    I'm really sorry to hear all of that for you, though. Love finds a way.
    "And I miss you but, it feels good this way
    Let’s fall in love somewhere that you'll wanna stay"

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      #3
      There is no set rule of what's too long, only you can decide that. You gotta know how long you can/want to wait and at which point it would cause too much distress and issues.

      What's keeping you from closing the distance? You live in the same state, so what in particular are the problems? I don't know you two, obviously, but maybe discussing what's holding things back in more detail could help. What's keeping you from going to him, for instance?

      ~
      It'll take a lot more than words and guns
      A whole lot more than riches and muscle
      The hands of the many must join as one
      And together we'll cross the river

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        #4
        There is not a set time. Also, for me it depends on a lot of circumstance if the distance is too much. Like, how often will we will see each other, how safe do I feel and such.

        I know lots of people who had to use 6 years or more to close the distance. SO's best friend is awaiting family reunion visa from Turkey to Norway (the current waiting time is about 18 months, which means they will not get it this year), they have dated more than six years and their kid has to listen to dad on a tape. My husband 's brother and his girlfriend/ now wife was long distance for the entire six years of their education, they lived in opposite sides of the country and saw each other twice a year. Compared to them, I have it good, I may not have to wait as long...
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

        Comment

          #5
          The time to close the distance will come when it comes, there is no set time for when you should/shouldn't do it, because every person's circumstances and lives are different. You do what you can when you can, and you arrive at your destination when everything's been planned out, prepared for and such.

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            #6
            We're at 4 years soon. We don't know how to close the distance yet. Honestly LDR isn't always so bad if everything is smooth and you have complete trust and you're moving into right direction plus you can be in daily contact. If you can focus on strengthening your relationship while looking for ways to be together. Also sometimes it takes sacrifices from one or both involved.

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              #7
              OP already has another thread going on this
              https://members.lovingfromadistance....ointment-AGAIN!

              As I said before, only you can decide what you want. SO and I have been together for over 2 years. We thought we were going to close the distance and get married next year. This may be postponed by almost 2 years now. He's in IN and I'm in NH. When we do finally close the distance, we're most likely going to end up in TX. Have either of you thought of trying a new area entirely that will have what both of you want? The US is huge I'm sure somewhere there must be a compromise.
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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