Feeling emotional. Just need some support.

[TabithAmazon]

Hello, my name is Tabitha. His name is Chris, and I have never been so in love with a man in my life. Our history is pretty simple. We met through a dating app, went on 6-7 dates over a few months span, and unfortunate circumstances made me move out of state. Since my departure from the state in which we met, we have kept contact over 2 years and made our long-distance status official in September of this year. At that time, he was in Arizona visiting me. I flew to Washington to visit him less than a week ago, but this evening my heart is very heavy. I am a highly emotional person unlike my counterpart. More or less, I am just having a moment of emotional weakness and am looking for some words of encouragement. The day where there is some normalcy in our day-to-day relationship cannot come soon enough.

[farandaway]

I so know how it is. This is second time we have to go over a year without seeing each other. If it was just us two we would be together but life is so much more. Regular contact and sweet notes, talking about the future all make such a difference. If you can talk daily make your SO feel special. Plan your future as much as you can. Dream about your future. My SO also is not the emotional one of us. He's so down to earth and can go through a mountain if needed. He often doesn't understand how much reassurance I need and where my emotional bursts come from. We don't have much time for daily contact but if you do make the most of it. Tell him what you need.

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome to the forum. It's ok to have those moments of emotional vulnerability it's what makes us human. I always think how lucky I am to have my SO regardless of the distance. That helps me a lot and having countdowns to the next visit.

[Honour]

I can relate to you, Tabitha. I'm the more emotionally sensitive one, though he has his moments and seems to keep them more to himself. You'll find a lot of support is available from this website, we've all been in the same situation or are already in it still, and the best advice I can give is keep your chin up and remind yourself that it isn't permanent. You won't always be apart. Focus on the next visit, or planning stage of a visit, or the closing the distance date, or planning for it. Distance sucks no matter how far away your SO is (5000ish miles for me) just stay focused on the positives and you can't go wrong.

[TabithAmazon]

I really appreciate the kind words. Thank you all for your help and your experience.

Some times it just hurts. I know what we have is worth every second of pain and hardship but, in moments like this, I just want to skip to the part where one of us doesn't have to get back on a plane.

What I have found is most difficult is that little support is found in family and friends. No one understands what what we are going through let alone do they understand why we are putting ourselves through it. And that is why I am glad that I've stumbled across you all.

[WarwickGuy]

Hi Tabitha, sorry to hear you're feeling down, but I hope you and Chris are enjoying your time talking and the virtual time you spend together.

I must admit my girlfriend and I are both the emotional ones in the relationship, but often don't want to bother the other with it until it becomes too much. Obviously, I recommend talking to your SO, as that always helps .

Sadly I think the lack of support is common, most of my friends and family don't offer much support, but thankfully I have my sister who understands that I must love my girlfriend if I want to continue in a LDR. As you say, you now have us and we all know how you feel. Stay strong, browse the forum and you'll survive until your next meeting of happiness with Chris

[Honour]

The reason why they might not understand is because that unless you've been in this situation before, you can't really comprehend.

[TabithAmazon]

Don't get me wrong, Chris and I communicate our feelings on a very regular basis. With that being said, I don't particularly want to bother him with every time my emotions get the best of me. He isn't quite as emotionally driven as I am, so not always do I feel it is necessary to get him all worked up just because I'm feeling vulnerable. Usually, I will just send him a text letting him know that I miss him immensely.

I know it is just as hard for him as it is for me, but I feel that including him in every emotional break will only make him hurt more.

[Honour]

Yeah, it's a difficult thing trying to strike a balance between the positives and negatives in a relationship LD. But don't be afraid to talk about it sometimes. Because even though he may not show it, perhaps, as you do (my SO and I are the same) he will probably be feeling much the same. Distractions, hobbies, doing things together (even from afar) can make all the difference.

[Lilangel]

I'm going through the same thing. I'm very emotional and my SO is emotional to a point we haven't been able to spend as much time together the past month and a half as we would like and probably won't another two months because of the circumstances beyond our control . It's very hard not being able to talk every day so I thought about writing in a notebook things I want to say to him then we do see each other let him read what I wrote you maybe that will help me. It's lucky if we get two hours to talk on the phone in a weeks time I know that he loves me and he knows I love him very much. He already tells me that I'm his wife in his heart and I love him as my husband. We will be separated for probably another eight months to a year before we can finally be together every day

[twentynine11]

Long distance has it's ups and downs. It is hard to see the positives when the negatives are so loud, but it's possible.
I am in a weird place with my relationship at the moment. I'm working through some things. However, I do understand your desire for a normal day-to-day relationship. LDR's are far from normal, but I think that makes them even more special and stronger in the end!