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Don't be fooled. Take care with online relationships!!

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    Don't be fooled. Take care with online relationships!!

    I just thought I would share this with everyone in here and emphasise how careful you need to be with online LDR or online relationships in general.

    I work for a government dept that deals in welfare payments. We have to assess people's income and savings so we can see if they qualify for help. A lady came into the office today to make a claim. We looked through her bank statements over the last 6 months which is standard practice and it was noticed that she had considerable capital a few months ago but it had now all gone. When she was questioned about this she said that she had been fooled by an online relationship. She was recently divorced and had a settlement of £80,000.00. She met some guy online who claimed to be high up in the USA army and was stationed in Nigeria. They started talking and a relationship evolved. Not long into the relationship he started asking her for money for different things. It started as small amounts and she didn't mind. She was however, extremely raw and vulnerable from her divorce and this guy really took advantage of her. He pretended that he loved her and proposed. She accepted and they started to plan a wedding and she started to look for a house to buy in the states.

    She found somewhere she liked and he stated he was in the process of making moves to buy it. Long story short, she sent him in total over £50,000!!!! Turns out it was a totally fake profile, the guy he was pretending to be exists but he had stolen his identity from a Facebook profile. This woman had never even spoken to the dude on the phone, never mind video chatted, skyped or face timed. He was a total fraud and now she is broke... The FBI are involved now but not to try and recover her money, they are protecting the USA soldier who had his ID stolen.

    Moral of the story... Do your research!!! There are a lot of us on here who met our lovers online, me included, but please be careful!!! Google your SO, make sure what you are entering into is real and do not under any circumstances send money if it asked for!

    My SO has never asked for money, still doesn't and we HAVE met in person. He never asked for dirty pics either and still does not ever want me to send him anything obscene. PLEASE ensure you know what you're dealing with and be cautious. There are some very unscrupulous people out there and they will take you for everything if you're not careful. This woman was an absolute idiot to do what she did, but she is now paying for her stupidity dearly. Be aware!!!! Not everyone is who they make out they are.

    #2
    Oh my. The whole Nigeria thing didn't flag her?? Ugh. I feel bad for this lady, but...jeeze. And yea, the FBI won't do anything for her if she's not a US citizen, they really only care about our own. This poor woman.

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      #3
      Originally posted by whatruckus View Post
      Oh my. The whole Nigeria thing didn't flag her?? Ugh. I feel bad for this lady, but...jeeze. And yea, the FBI won't do anything for her if she's not a US citizen, they really only care about our own. This poor woman.
      You would think the Nigeria thing may have raised a red flag huh? I was gob smacked by her stupidity. Also, if he was high up the the US Army, surely he wouldn't need her money? She was dumb as a box of frogs to send money, especially as the only communication they'd ever had was via Facebook messenger!

      I said to her, wow you were well and truly catfished... She says that the show has approached her about it so maybe you will see her on tv, who knows!

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        #4
        Originally posted by Unicorn26 View Post
        You would think the Nigeria thing may have raised a red flag huh? I was gob smacked by her stupidity. Also, if he was high up the the US Army, surely he wouldn't need her money? She was dumb as a box of frogs to send money, especially as the only communication they'd ever had was via Facebook messenger!

        I said to her, wow you were well and truly catfished... She says that the show has approached her about it so maybe you will see her on tv, who knows!
        Right? I mean, the military doesn't pay that well here, but they get really great benefits (insurance, and discounts with their military ID at certain places). And, if he was a military man, he would've had way too much pride to ask her for money. My SO never asks me for money and if I pay for anything for him, or buy him anything, he legitimately gets upset because he feels like he should be able to take care of himself. Lol

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          #5
          I agree with you both about the Nigeria red flag - that was my first thought too! I had one of these guys try to scam me and I turned the tables. "I'm a single mom with two kids and can barely make ends meet. It's great to find someone who wants to take care of us. Do you think you can send some money to help me start getting things together for our future and when you arrive?" I never heard from him again LOL
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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            #6
            Originally posted by R&R View Post
            I agree with you both about the Nigeria red flag - that was my first thought too! I had one of these guys try to scam me and I turned the tables. "I'm a single mom with two kids and can barely make ends meet. It's great to find someone who wants to take care of us. Do you think you can send some money to help me start getting things together for our future and when you arrive?" I never heard from him again LOL
            I'm lmao.

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              #7
              I lol'ed too. How stupid can someone get? She kinda asked for this to happen, with her stupidity...

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                #8
                On top of all that how do you not at least Skype/phonecall at some point?

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                  #9
                  My dad is a retired NYC Detective. Three days a week he runs the Crimes against seniors office for the Assistant district attorney where he lives. He is 81 years old, and sees this every single day with people 20+ years younger than him. He can't believe how gullible people are. But they are. Side note: Funny story. About four years ago I got an email from the FBI basically stating that "Mr. whatever his name is (because I don't remember), from Nigeria, may contact me asking for money. Mr. Whatever his name is is on the up and up and can be trusted and I should send him the funds requested as his government has his finds tied up for a few months, but I would be repaid and the US Government would guarantee it. It was signed Shawn Henry, executive Assistant Director, FBI. WELL GUESS WHAT.......Shawn Henry, EAD, FBI IS MY BROTHER! Lol. They had no idea they sent it to his sister! Yep, scam! But a bad one in my case! Lol
                  sigpic

                  I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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                    #10
                    I'll be honest, I don't really feel sorry for her at all. How could anyone be so dumb as to fall for that??

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by emsimes View Post
                      I'll be honest, I don't really feel sorry for her at all. How could anyone be so dumb as to fall for that??
                      One of my colleagues called it "Moron Tax" I almost peed my pants!

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by emsimes View Post
                        I'll be honest, I don't really feel sorry for her at all. How could anyone be so dumb as to fall for that??
                        You would be surprised how many people fall for this. It's a whole business with groups of guys working together. They have women working for them too, if they need someone for Skype calls with men. There's a small internet cafe on the way to our place and they sit there 24/7. It works so well, they own the newest iPhones, the newest cars from Mercedes to Range Rovers, can party at the most expensive places every weekend and so on.

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                          #13
                          Yeah, honestly, I feel very bad for her. Someone abused her trust and goodwill, and all she wanted was a positive relationship. Of course she was naive and careless and didn't take the caution she should have, absolutely. But that doesn't make her the one to blame. I'll blame the actual culprit any day of the week, it's not like it was her decision that this man should come and abuse her trust. I think all of us have made mistakes and bad choices in emotionally vulnerable situations - Hopefully none this big, but being swept in something we really want to believe in is easier than you might think. I know I've been in emotionally dark or unhealthy places and made some bad decisions because of it. Not often, but it can happen.

                          People like this man make exploiting emotionally vulnerable people a business. It's abhorrent and I really wish it was easier to wipe out. It's on all of us to be careful, even though it should be on these people to not do this disgusting stuff. Life just isn't fair, sadly. I hope the woman learned her lesson and takes good care of herself. She deserves better than this, and I hope she will be more cautious now.
                          Last edited by Miasmata; December 16, 2015, 04:19 AM.

                          ~
                          It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                          A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                          The hands of the many must join as one
                          And together we'll cross the river

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                            #14
                            I'm surprised so many of the places where she sent the money actually let her do it if she was wiring the funds. I worked in banks and credit unions for years, and we could refuse the service. We even had the police have to come down a few times to explain that they were being scammed.

                            There are so many types of scams. I've heard it from people who had calls saying a niece or nephew was in jail and they had to send bond money. Of course, no actual name of the family member was given. I had a guy who was told he hadn't paid his payday loan and he was going to be arrested if he didn't pay. That one was fun because I actually called the place and acted like his lawyer and asked for their physical address so I could come for a meeting and bring the police with me. They said there must have been some mistake and he was fine. I called the number the next day and it was disconnected.
                            To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                            ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I have a friend in her sixties who this happened to. I don't know the details since this had just happened before I learned to know her and obviously she doesn't like talking about it. But I know she met him online and he was an English speaking man who needed financial help before they could eventually be together. They talked on the phone a lot but I can see if you want to believe a person is honest and you haven't ever run into scams your filter is not there. I feel sorry for her. It was tens of thousands of euros before she realized it's not real.

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